


Born This Way

by ThriftStoreBeauty



Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 53,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25711591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThriftStoreBeauty/pseuds/ThriftStoreBeauty
Summary: This is a sequel to Crazy For You, where we will witness a seismic shift in Victor's Universe after he makes a decision to come out. We're finally going to meet Benji's mother, Sally Anne Campbell, and his dad might make an appearance too. We'll have to wait and see... it begins the Saturday Victor & Benji arrive back at Brasstown with our beloved Espresso Machine, after spending a very memorable night in Willacoochee. Yeah"...I'm beautiful in my way'Cause God makes no mistakesI'm on the right track, baby I was born this way..."Lady GaGa
Relationships: Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Victor Salazar, Lake Meriwether & Felix Weston, Mia Brooks/Andrew Spencer
Comments: 39
Kudos: 54





	1. Love Will Have To Do.

By 7:45 on Saturday night, no one was left at Brasstown, and Victor & Benji started shutting down.They worked fast, and by 8:30 the night lights were on, the doors secured, and the Closed sign prominently posted. The atmosphere was charged. Victor stood in the middle of the room, his eyes on Benji, who leaned against the darkened doorway of the back storage room, watching him. Victor walked toward him slowly, almost shy, and somewhat in awe of the forcefield that suddenly exists, as their awareness of one another seems to rearrange the molecular structure of the space they’re in. 

The distance between them closes, and Benji reaches out to take Victor’s hand, pulling him into the supply room. Tentative explorations give way to assertive demands. A fusion of two bodies, as strong arms wrap around, and strong hands press their advantage against warm skin, roaming, stroking, exploring. Tongues do a slow dance, feeding one another breath. Buttons are loosened, zippers and briefs come down and Benji’s hands slide around to Victor’s bare ass, pulling him closer. They’re grinding against one another, rock hard and pulsing.

Victor moans softly. “So, “ he whispers. “ we’re really gonna do this?” “Benji whispers back, “Yeah, Victor. We’re doing this…”

“ Sarah has a security camera back here, right?” He’s nibbling Benji’s earlobe, ... but Benji’s preoccupied by the sensation of the precum lubricating the friction from two hard dicks rubbing against one another. He slows his grind,... “Remind me….When we leave,... I have to turn it back on….” Victor laughs softly, squeezing Benji’s ass, urging him on,” Baby, I’ll be lucky to remember my name…” 

Benji pulls away abruptly, and walks them back to the cubicle Sarah calls her office. He sits in her desk chair facing Victor, who’s half sitting against her desk. He’s breathless. “I don’t know if I can last, Benji….” Things happen in slow motion from that point, as Benji’s fingers form a circle, gently pumping the base of his shaft. His mouth feels hot as his tongue massages it’s length, and swirls around the tip. He accelerates gradually, until Victor is convulsed in spasms, knees weak, jerking and cursing, Benji’s hair tangled in his hands. Benji’s arms tighten around his hips, as Victor presses him close. Then, He lifts Benji’s head and smiles, “My turn…” 

It’s 9:40 when Benji texts his mother for a ride and though Victor mumbles something about buses and walking, he insists they’ll take Victor home. “I want her to meet you.” Victor shakes his head, as he texts to Felix. “ I want to meet her too, but I was hoping to clean up better…. I’m texting Felix. I need to talk to him, and I need to get mentally ready for The Reckoning. After tomorrow morning’s breakfast bombshell, I don’t even know if I’ll have a home…in just three days, my whole life is changing, Benji, permanently changing. ” 

Benji sighs, “I know, Babe. Tomorrow’s going to be a long, rough day no matter how it turns out. But honestly, Victor I can’t even describe the relief I felt when I actually said the words, “I’m Gay,” to my parents. I think sometimes... we don’t even realize how unhappy we are, or how really hard it is to keep hiding, because we keep adjusting every single part of our lives trying to make it work, even when it doesn’t work. There’s no substitute for being able to be who you are, instead of somebody else’s version of you. Just remember, Victor, when you face them, you won’t be alone.”

Benji’s arms sit comfortably around his waist. They kiss, long and slow, not knowing when they’ll have another chance…Victor’s eyes well up, but then he smiles, “I wanted to say this before, but... I’ve got this older cousin in Texas who said, “ Guys always say I love you when they come... but Benji, I think I really might be in love you…” 

Benji smiles, rubbing his own stubbly cheek against Victor’s, “ Victor,” he whispers the name like a prayer, “ This really is kind of amazing when you think about it. This just feels right...it fits!...it’s hard to even put into words… but yeah, Love will have to do.“ 

Victor nodded then, and smiled, “Yeah, ...I guess I could have just been in love with you all by myself, and never said anything...” He sighs. “God, I want to spend the night with you again! Who knows when we’ll have another chance…” Benji turns Victor’s head toward him “I know, babe. I do too. Call me later if you can….”

Benji’s mother, Sally Anne texts, “Out front, where are you?” The boys walk over to the car, and Benji leans in to the driver’s side to greet his mom with a kiss. “Hey, Mom! This is Victor Salazar, I told him he could catch a ride with us?” “ She gave him a warm smile, “Sure Victor, how are you doin? You all had quite a weekend, runnin’ all over the place, and then having to close too. Victor, it was kind of you to do the driving for Benji. I really appreciate that. In a couple more weeks we’ll have it all sorted,...then I can worry about something else,” she laughed. “Benji, I hope you don’t have to work tomorrow because you need to catch up with yourself, sweetie!” Victor definitely saw the resemblance. She could have passed for Benji’s older sister, she looked so young,...and so pretty.

As he hopped out of the car in front of his building, Felix came flying out the doors. “Is that Benji?” ‘’Yeah, he and his mother gave me a ride home from work.” Felix waved enthusiastically and then turned to Victor for a quick hug, “ Hey! You look wiped out. Your mother told me your work schedule was kind of brutal the past couple of days.” Victor nodded, “Yeah, we had to take a quick road trip to get some of our machinery repaired. Then we get back and Sarah schedules us right in until closing again, with no break.”

“ I feel funky. I need a shower and some clean clothes. How are you doing, Felix? Is everything OK?” Felix looks at Victor. Something seems different about him. He’s trying to decide how to get into this, then he goes for it. “Hey, I’m great. “We” are doing great. I can’t believe we’re a couple, but Lake and I are actually good together, which is pretty remarkable all things considered. So. You said you need to talk to me, and you know I’m here for you Victor, but I can guess what this is about. I mean, Andrew has become a fixture in Mia’s swimming pool, so I’m thinking you two are not together at the moment? “ 

Victor smiled. “Hey, that’s great. I mean Andrew being there for Mia. Mia’s a beautiful person. But no, we’re not together.” Victor grew thoughtful. “Actually, there’s something else happening. Felix, I broke up with her. She agreed with me that it was for the best, and actually, we parted as friends. I really care about Mia, Felix. But you’re my best friend and right now, I need you. Not because of Mia. Felix…. I broke up with her because,...well... I’ve been going through a really rough time, actually for the past couple of years, and it took being with Mia for me to realize that I can’t force it, and I can’t fake it, I’m just not into girls. Felix, I’m Gay.” 

Victor’s voice was so soft, at first Felix wasn’t sure he heard what he said. He froze. Finally, he shook his head the way people in movies do when they regain consciousness. “OMG, Victor. Your parents…” “They don’t know,” Victor shot back. “I'm telling them tomorrow at our Sunday breakfast. Except for Mia, you’re my closest friend and I’m.... “ but Felix won’t let him finish. He wraps his arms around Victor and hugs the breath out of him. “Look, I haven’t been home for almost 2 days, but I’d really appreciate it if you come in with me...like we ran into one another and you need to talk about Lake, is that OK? Can you? I need to talk to you about tomorrow. It’s important to me that I handle this the best way I can.” Felix was solemn. ”Victor. I’m here for you. I love you, man. You being Gay changes nothing. You are my wingman and I’m yours! No problem. “ They go inside and walk up the stairs to the Salazar apartment together.


	2. Felix Comes Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Victor shares a secret, and General Felix maps out a possible strategy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the night before Victor's talk with his parents, and his life is about to change forever.... He turns to his best friend for support and advice....

#2 Felix Comes Through

Victor opens the door quietly, it’s about 10:15. Adrian is sound asleep, and Pilar is in her room, watching YouTube videos. The TV volume is low, and Armando and Isabel are talking quietly, pretending to watch a movie. They look startled when they see Victor walk in, then seem to relax at the sight of Felix. “Hi, my love!! You look so tired, Victor! How did it go? Are you hungry?” “Hi, Mami! Hey, Papi! I don’t know, Felix are you hungry?” Felix gives an awkward wave to Isabel and Armando, and smiles, “hey I’m always ready to eat! You need to ask? “ 

Armando laughs, “Felix, you are something else. Victor, I hope they’re gonna pay you for the time it took putting in what, more than 6 hours on the road? That was nuts. I was relieved you spent the night. That’s a lot of driving for one day for a new driver. You guys decide what you want to order and we’ll handle it, OK?” Victor walked over to hug both his parents. “Thank you! “ “So, Felix, how are things with you,?” Victor laughs and says, “Felix has a little bit of heart trouble tonight….” “Yeah. Me & my wingman, here, are going to figure it all out.” Armando shakes his head. “Well good luck to you both.” 

They decided on Uber Eats from Sweet Auburn, and ordered smoked wings with the spicy BBQ sauce, some pimento wontons, a bucket of cornbread and the BBQ’d nachos with pulled pork. It was probably more than enough for five people. Or maybe two people and Felix. Victor insisted on giving his dad $ 20 dollars, to help pay for it. Armando grew irritated. “Hey, man, let me do something nice for you. You work hard too, Victor.” Victor hugged him. “I love you Papi, but I like being able to do this. Please let me?” Armando kissed his eldest son. To Victor he seemed unusually emotional. It made Victor a little uneasy. 

Once in Victor’s room,Felix pulled up the desk chair as Victor flopped on his bed, checking his messages. Then he smiled, and sighed, and typed something quick (Benji :R U OK? Ily. Victor: With Felix, OK so far.ily too. SO MUCH.) Felix’s started to say something, I mean how could he ignore that beatific smile on Victor’s face. 

“OK. Victor, I’m going to ask an obvious question. What’s so special about tomorrow? Why don’t you give yourself a few days to figure things out and make a plan? This is a major, life changing event. “ Victor shook his head. He had decided. “Because, Felix, I’ve had plenty of time to figure things out, years. There’s no ‘right time’ to do this. I mean, maybe there is, but for me it’s tomorrow. It’s time to rip off the bandaid and accept the sting. You know? ….Besides. ...There’s someone I love very much.” Felix’s eyes widen….” When you find someone you love, truly love, you want to do right by them. .” He grabbed some sweats and a t-shirt,and tossed his phone on the bed “ Be right back, I need to shower.” 

Felix had to look. I mean, the phone was right there. Do you really think Victor did that by accident? Felix glanced down and caught those last two texts before the screen went dark. Then, because Felix & emotional, theatrical gestures go together like cake and ice cream, he smiled, placed hand to heart, closed his eyes, and lifted his face heaven-ward,”YESSSSS! “ he whispered. He carefully replaced Victor’s phone, then sat down and checked in with Lake, who was driving back from Charleston tonight with her mother, and began to think about how he could help Victor face tomorrow’s crisis. 

Soft knocks on the door interrupted his scheming. “Food’s here guys!” It was Isabel, nibbling on a pimento wonton. “God, I love these! “ She laughed. Then Pilar surfaced. “You got food? You ordered food? Why didn’t anyone tell me! “ “Pilar. The food just got here. Hey, I would’ve knocked on your door!” Felix was trying to play peacemaker. “Yes, Felix, I know you would, but you are not family. Family is supposed to see about me…” she cut her eyes at her mother and stalked down the hall towards the dining room. Isabel sighed, looking after her. “Tell Victor, OK?” Victor emerged from the steamy bathroom fully dressed, sweatpants, t-shirt, bare feet. “ Victor, let’s go fix a plate and then come back. I have an idea.” 

Victor was fighting sleep. The food was like a narcotic, it was nearly midnight and neither of them wanted to drag this out. “Victor, look. There’s a few things you need to focus on, and I’ll help where I can. First, you’re from a religious conservative family. They could bring the hammer down on you tomorrow. Anything can happen. Your parents could explode and throw you out, you might even have to duck a punch...and I love your dad. But everyone has limits. It’s unpredictable, so we need to prepare for that possibility. “ Victor looked puzzled. Felix explained: “You might need a place to stay. You should pack a small bag with a few essentials; clean underwear, school stuff, gym stuff, I’ll keep it in case you need it…” 

“Second you’re going to need support, serious support, not only your friends but other people who can help you deal with the fall out, not just with your parents, but with school, and basketball too. Can I suggest that Mia, me, Andrew and Lake help with that. “ Victor raises his eyebrows when Felix names Andrew.”Yeah, well, Victor, first, he’s the big man on the basketball team. You’ll need his support. Second, he’s like a different person since Mia seems to be letting him back into her life. Seriously. And Lake will be absolute genius at navigating social media and school stuff.” 

“Now,” Felix took a deep breath, “ if you don’t mind me asking, you said you were in love...and you sound serious. Is it anyone I might know?….” Victor closed his eyes and smiled, “Benji. ” he sighs. “Do you think Mia and Andrew would mind including him in this little group you're describing?” Felix beamed at him. ”Victor Salazar, there’s no one I’d rather see you with. Benji is a sweetheart! One of the nicest guys I’ve ever had to deal with at Creekwood. You’re gonna break a lot of hearts. Girls think Benji is some kind of Sex God..” 

Victor laughed, “He is! “ Felix blushes, “Well. Clearly you have data to back up your assertion?” “Look,” Victor explained, “With Mia, every time we kissed I was on the verge of a panic attack. All I wanted to do was run. With Benji...all I want is more…” then Victor blushed a brand new shade of crimson, Felix had never seen before.“But Felix, dude, here’s the thing. The more people know, the more likely it’s going to spread all over school, and I need to make sure Benji is OK. I have to see what he wants. We have to decide together how and when we come out as a couple. And I want him to be involved in how we figure out what my next steps are. After all, he’s had to go through it too. The other thing is, I’m text- friends with Simon Spier. Simon is…” “ Simon? ...Oh, SIMON! The Ferris Wheel guy! Yeah. How did you find him?”

“Ms Albright. She told me the story of how he and his partner got together, and I just texted him. Felix, I’ve been in hell. I wanted Atlanta to be a fresh start.” Victor is almost whispering. “I was so miserable, sometimes I just wanted to...disappear...just not be here anymore...I didn’t see a way clear for me.” Felix’s eyes welled up,as he just shook his head. “No way, Victor. No. way. Look at me. You are never that alone, OK? Nothing is ever that hopeless. You need to understand. You have friends who really love you.We want to be there with you. “ 

“And speaking of Ms Albright, she can be a great ally. I mean if you need someone to run interference with your parents….She’s helped me a couple of times.” Victor was grateful for the suggestion. “I hadn’t thought of that. Simon said his mother would be on stand-by tomorrow. She’s a psychologist. Emily Speir. I need to reach out to her tomorrow morning and give her a heads up. They live near Mia’s. Simon said, if my parents suggest therapy, I need to produce her as the therapist so I don’t get stuck in some “ churchy, pray the Gay away” crap.” 

Felix is stunned. This was happening. “OK. Let me make sure everything is good with Mia, and then can I call Benji and ask him to join us?” Victor nodded.”Yeah, I’ll text Benji, let him know you’ll call. I wonder. Should I call Mia?” Felix shook his head. “Victor, if you call she might feel obligated to say yes. If I call her, I think she might be more open....but It’s up to you…” Victor agreed. “You're right. So let’s plan on getting together around 2 tomorrow at Mia’s...assuming everything falls into place.” Felix nods, then adds, “. Oh, and Victor? tomorrow morning, I’ll be right here in my apartment until you’re ready to leave. In case of fire, break glass!” Whut?” I just meant If you run into trouble I’ll be camped out on the stairs right outside your door.” “Dang, Felix, hopefully it won’t be that bad.” 

Felix thought of one more thing. “Victor, you’re the only person, except for Lake, who knows about my Mother’s issues. She’s fragile. When she’s in the middle of one of her episodes, and I need her to do something, or try to help her, I have to think about how I say things.The words I choose, the attitude, all that. I have to be patient. I have to be clear. I have to keep it simple. And some things are not negotiable. I don’t ask her if she wants to eat. If she’s missed two or three meals, I just fix something and convince her that it's special and she’ll love it. You know the drill. I’ve seen you and Pilar handle Adrian.”

“ So think about what to say to your parents. Choose the words carefully. And think about how you say it. That’s my advice. Some things aren’t negotiable. Don’t get into a discussion about whether you’re “really” Gay. You are. I don’t want to be a downer, man, but they may never accept this from you, Victor. This may completely change your relationship. But my suggestion is, present it with the goal of trying to keep the drama out of it. People always end up saying stuff they regret. It’s better to minimize the mess.” 

“Try not to make this seem like it’s this huge terrible secret thing. Let them do that. You tell them in a way that you believe this is a good thing. Because it is. That you’re happy and relieved. Because as I look at you tonight, you are happy, and you are relieved. They might see being Gay as a problem. But if they do, it’s their problem, not yours. Just think about that. Try not to show anger. Remain calm and confident.. Remember: You really are a pretty great guy. So your parents got a lot of things right as parents. They love you. And maybe that will get all of you through this.” 

Victor’s house was asleep as he walked Felix, with his duffle bag, to the door.. The calm before the storm…..


	3. Falling Asleep Together....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felix leaves...Victor's exhausted, yet restless.... this is short but I felt like I needed to make sure they were OK. Storm clouds are gathering...

It was almost 12:50 AM when Victor texted Benji, “You awake?” A few minutes pass before his phone lights up. “Hey, Babe, how’s it goin?” Benji’s raspy, sleep clogged voice made Victor want to touch himself. “I love the way you sound,” he whispered.”Felix just left..I’m really glad I reached out to him. He had some good suggestions. He wants to form a kind of support group and get together tomorrow afternoon, hopefully at Mia’s. I’d like you to be part of that, unless you think it would be too uncomfortable?” Benji was silent for a minute, “Sure, no problem. Anything you need, Victor. I wouldn’t want to make Mia uncomfortable, though. I mean, I did take her man…” Benji teased. Victor laughed softly,”I was never her man,Benji, that was the problem. Anyway, she’s with Andrew now. He’ll be there...if that matters…” “Well, generally, Andrew’s a bit of an asshole. But he must have some redeeming qualities if Mia can stand him. He & I never had any personal problems...we travel in different circles.” 

Victor brought Benji up to speed, then,“I miss you. Wish you were here right now…” “Victor,” he whispered. “Is your charger close by? “ “Yeah, why?” “Well, it’s not the same, but let’s try leaving the phones on for a little while, and fall asleep together...you up for it?” Victor smiled into the phone. “You really needed to say it that way? Yeah...I’m up for it. Sleepy too, finally.Your voice makes me feel calm... “ As they were about to doze off, Victor volunteered that “Felix said all the Creekwood girls think you're a Sex God…” “Benji laughed, “They do? All the girls, huh? ...what do you think, Victor? ” “Mmm... Yeah. Works for me…”


	4. There is No "Good Time..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Isabel makes fruit salad ...and Victor's plans get derailed.....
> 
> I hate to beg... but I'm begging...please give me some feed back!! These next two chapters are really important. I need to hear from you. It means a lot....I need to know you can hear their voices....and I need to know if this makes your heart ache as much as it did mine....

Victor was groggy, felt hung over as he made his way to the bathroom. He had glanced at his phone to check the time as he passed, 8:20 AM. It was turned off, sitting on his desk, not tucked half under his pillow the way he last remembered it...he glanced in the mirror, then washed his face and quickly brushed his teeth. On his way back to his bedroom he could hear the faint morning sounds of his mother in the kitchen, and the quiet murmur of his parents’ voices. 

Pilar startled him. “What? I’m trying to get dressed here, Pilar.” She carefully closed his door, and took a seat at his desk. “ Did you move my phone?” “Yes.” Victor was quiet, pretending to look down into his dresser drawer for a t-shirt. “Why? “ “I couldn’t sleep, Victor. I haven’t been sleeping good for weeks. I thought I heard something, so I came in and the phone light was on and…” “So... did you see…” “Yes, Victor. Look. To be honest, I heard some of what you and Felix said last night. Not spying, just passing by on my way to my room... I...Look. You're my big brother. I love you. I will always love you, OK? That’s all I want to say. ...and Victor? ... Benji is hot as shit.” She smiled as she got up and seemed to evaporate, like some sweet apparition, sent to reassure him.

When Victor walked into the kitchen his mother was busy washing and cutting up peaches, “Good morning, my love! I thought we could have a nice fresh fruit salad this morning.” Her eyes were puffy.She looked exhausted. “Hey, Mami, how’s it going! So, do you want my pancakes?” He asked. “You know I do, Victor. I even picked up some pecans at the Farmer’s Market yesterday. Maybe we can put them on the pancakes? Pecan Pancakes sound so good!” She was failing spectacularly in her attempt to be cheerful. Victor gave her his sweetest smile, along with a hug, “Wow, yeah! Sounds great! ...where’s Papi? “ Isabel was quiet for a minute, then, “Oh, he had to go out to take care of something. He won’t be long. I’ll text him to see when we can expect him, OK?” “OK. So what’ll it be, bacon or sausage?” Isabel was unfocused, looked at him as if he was speaking in tongues, “What?” “”Bacon or Sausage, Mami? Hey, you seem kind of out of it. Are you sick? “ “No Victor, I’m good. I just didn’t sleep well last night…bacon..” Victor silently sent up a prayer of thanks that their bedrooms were on opposite sides of the apartment. “Why?” “Well, Adrian had a nightmare, so I ended up with him, and it wasn’t a very sound sleep.” she smiled, as she hugged him again. 

Pilar wandered in a few minutes later, followed by Adrian, complaining about Mami taking up all the room in his bed. Victor busied himself assembling the ingredients for his made from scratch pancake batter, and Adrian helped Pilar set the table. She handed Victor a cookie sheet so he could lay out the strips of bacon and put them in the oven. Isabel loved the Barefoot Contessa cooking show, and Ina said it was the only way to cook bacon. After Pilar put the syrup and the butter on the table, along with the fruit salad, she started busting up the pecans and put them in a bowl. It was a little after 10 when Armando returned. “Aha. Something smells good. Good morning!” he glanced quickly at Isabel, then grabbed Adrian for a hug. 

Victor started the pancakes and a few minutes later everyone was sitting together, when his mother decided, “Today is Sunday. We’ve been here for months and haven’t settled on a church yet. I miss it. But today, I want us to at least say grace together, OK? “ “Of course!” Armando took Isabel’s hand and kissed it, she took Victor’s and he took Adrian’s with Pilar on the other side. Armando began, “Heavenly father, thank you for my loving wife, and my two sons and my daughter. Thank you for the food on our table. And may God bless all the hands who put it there. Please wrap your arms around us and keep us safe, and help us to better love you by loving one another. Amen.” (Ohhhh, the irony!!!)

Armando smiled appreciatively at his son, “ Hey, man, these pancakes are pretty amazing. Who’s idea were the pecans? “ Victor nodded towards Isabel,” This fruit salad is awesome too, this was all Mami’s idea.” Pilar sat observing them, as if they were acting out the parts in some bad theatre script, or a grade B 50’s movie, and all the time, watching Adrian out of the corner of her eye. After his second cup of coffee, Armando stood up and said, “I’d like to ask the two of you to hang tight for a minute. Your mother and I need to talk to you, OK? And Adrian, go into Papi's bedroom and get the Target bag off the chair. “ Adrian flew, knowing a Target bag probably meant something special for him. He came crashing back into the dining room, and happily tackled Armando’s legs, “Thank you!!! Thank you!!! He got the entire DVD collection How to Train Your Dragon! Yes!!!!!” “Come on, man, let’s go put it on, that way you’ll be able to enjoy this while Mami and I talk to Victor & Pilar, OK? “

The two teen agers were picking at their food, Victor sighing impatiently, and Pilar as sullen as ever at the imposition. Isabel stared into space and looked like she was miles away. Armando came back, got the coffee pot and asked whether anyone wanted more, but no one did, so he poured some coffee for himself and sat down with a heavy sigh. “Look. Your mother and I have something we need to tell you. Both of you are pretty smart kids. You’ve both been pretty hard on us, because you’re sick of all the bickering and arguing and the tension in this house. We’re not blind. We see how it’s affecting you, and it breaks our hearts to see Pilar so unhappy, and you, Victor always trying to be the peacemaker."

"It’s not fair. We get it. Moving to a new city, new school, new job, no friends or family nearby, has put all of us under a lot of strain. More strain than either one of us could have predicted.“ At this point Armando’s voice sort of broke, and Isabel jumped in and picked up the conversation. “Papi is right. It’s been very hard on all of us, so much happening so fast, and first, we want you to know we are very sorry for it. We want to do better. But at this point, we both think that the best way to turn the page, and restart our lives is to take a break. So for now, Armando and I are not going to live together. We are going to separate. This has not been easy for us. It’s something we talked about a lot.” 

Both kids looked distressed, ambushed, in a state of shock. Pilar’s eyes fill with tears, And Victor slides his chair back from the table, and shakes his head in disbelief. “ Now I don’t want you to be scared or worry. Papi is not going to be far away.He will spend a lot of time here, he’ll eat with us, and hang out with us, and the two of us will be trying to work on our problems so we can get back together under one roof. The next few months will be different, but I’m still Mami, he’s still Papi, as far as you’re concerned.” 

Armando brushed a tear from his eye that seemed to spill over in spite of his best efforts. He nods in agreement, “Yes, so just this morning, I signed a 6 month lease on an apartment less than two miles away. It’s one of the properties my company manages, so I got a good deal on a small one bedroom. It’s one of their model apartments, so it even has some furniture..” Isabel puts on an encouraging smile, “Yes, the only thing changing is …” Pilar interrupts, “...is Papi is leaving! That’s what’s changing. Our family is breaking up! All because you cheated, and Papi beat up his boss! The two of you mess up big time, he gets fired, we have to leave town, and we, the three of us, pay for it. Isn't it funny how you never want to put up with any mess from us, yet you just expect us to put up with mess from you.” 

Pilar is crying angry tears as she spits out her summary of Armando and Isabel’s “heart to heart.” breakfast chat. “Pilar, please calm down, I know you’re angry…” Isabel tries a soothing tone. “No, Mami! You know nothing about how all of this affects me! You’re both so wrapped up in your own drama, you don’t see what’s under your nose. You talk to us as if we’re these TV kids you have in your imagination instead of the real people right in front of you. And you both act like 12 yr olds. We’re the teenagers, not you!” Ordinarily, this would be an exit line for Pilar. But as much as she may want to, she is not leaving. Instead, she reaches for Victor’s hand and squeezes it. Isabel looks expectantly at Victor, maybe searching for the wisdom or home truths he usually seems to carry in his back pocket that provide an island of stability in their volatile lives. “Victor, mi amor, you’re so quiet. …”


	5. Shame On You....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Isabel & Armando have their talk with Pilar & Victor, Victor 's anger and frustration bubbles over. He decides to go for it. There is no "right time..." But he tries to follow Felix's advice...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of the hardest chapters to write. It just breaks my heart....
> 
> I really do need your feedback....these are unchartered waters....love one another....

Victor's looking up at the ceiling, shaking his head. He will not allow himself to laugh. No, because this would not be a joyful laugh, or even a derisive laugh, it would be more like an on-the-brink-of-madness, “Are you fucking kidding me!” laugh. And he probably wouldn’t be able to stop. Madre de dios! He takes a minute to gather his thoughts. Should he retool his own presentation in light of these new wrinkles… or not. He decides not to change anything. He’ll move forward. Because, as he ruefully pointed out to Felix last night, there will never be a “good time.” He pulls his chair closer to the table so he can balance his elbows or maybe have something to grip, right? Because he is finally beginning to realize he is really angry at them for once again sucking all the oxygen from his life with their dramas. 

“Look,” He begins with great emotion, ”It breaks my heart, truly, that you’re going through such a bad time, and that you think the only way to deal with it is to separate. Mostly, for us, this is just one more hard thing me and Pilar and Adrian will have to deal with. I know you love one another. I ‘ve watched you for 16 years. I‘ve seen it, OK? There’s a lot of love in our house. So I believe if you both really want it, you’ll solve this. And honestly, “ now he is looking at Pilar too, “it takes a lot of guts to be so open about your mistakes. But if this means the constant arguing and the bickering will stop, and that both of you will pay more attention to us,and what’s happening in our lives then I’m glad you decided to separate ”

Isabel and Armando are riveted. He has their complete attention as he continues, “ You know, both of you have been so distracted by all these things you have going on, you haven’t had a lot of time for us, and we have all needed you.” Isabel starts to say something, but Victor holds his hand up, stopping her.“ I have something I wanted to share with you today, something I’ve been trying really hard to deal with completely on my own for the past few years. I’ve finally realized I can’t do it anymore. It’s hurting me. So I need to be honest, to stop trying to fit into a mold I’m not right for.”

“ I feel like I’ve been trying to force my foot into a size 8 shoe, when my foot is a size 10. It doesn’t fit, and it’s hurting me. Look, Mami, Papi, ...I’m Gay. OK? I’ve been wanting to share this with you for a long time, but it never seemed like the right time, and I finally figured there is no right time. So, this is who I am. I just wanted you to know, and since you are being so open with us, I feel like I want to be open with you.” Then he smiled! He felt oddly defiant, and yet...calm. 

Pilar was looking at him with her mouth open. Isabel’s hand was covering her mouth, and tears were flooding down her cheeks. Armando was… paralyzed? His facial expressions ran the gamut from confusion, to disbelief, to denial. FInally, he shakes his head. “What? Victor, please. If you're having a joke at our expense this isn’t the time. It’s not funny. “ Victor smiled brightly, “ No Papi, this is not a joke. This is real life. But it’s also not the end of the world…” 

Isabel recovers, “ No Victor. This is impossible. It’s crazy! How can this be? We’ve tried so hard to be good parents. I know. We aren’t perfect, but Victor how can you even think for one minute that you’re like that? Or that you might even want to be like that! It’s ridiculous.” Victor sighs. “ I know you try to be good parents. And you are. Why in the world would you think my being Gay has anything to do with whether you’re good parents? I’m Gay, I’m not a criminal. In fact, my being Gay has nothing to do with you at all...unless we want to get scientific…” 

Isabel, keeps shaking her head, her tone changes, he senses her temper flaring, “No Victor. You know perfectly well what we’re talking about. Being Gay is sinful. It’s a perversion, a..a sickness. The Church teaches us…” “Mami, the Church is wrong. They told Abuela she couldn’t eat meat on Friday or she’d go to Hell when she was a little kid. In fact, they suffocate us with the rules, and the sins, and the punishments, trying to scare everybody, always judging us, when what we need to hear more about is Love and Kindness.”

“ Whatever. Look. I didn’t get to choose, OK? I didn’t choose to be Gay. Being Gay is not a choice. This isn’t a “lifestyle” decision. I was born this way.” Armando pipes in, suddenly finding his tongue,”That’s that Lady GaGa bullshit. How can you want to associate yourself with people who are perverts and freaks, and child molesters, and…” Victor looks at him. “Whoa, Papi, I’m still the same person today, that I was yesterday. Still the same kid I was when you ate my pancakes. Exactly the same. Only now, I can stop hiding a big part of who I am. Don’t worry. I’ll still play basketball. I won’t be going to school in pink satin shirts and six inch heels. But if I ever know anyone who does that, I won’t mock them for living their truth. "

Finally, Armando counters, “Well good for you. You're finding yourself. And now you’re hitting us with all this Gay Pride bullshit. Yeah. I know all about that. And I’ve told you before, I don’t care how other people choose to live their lives. But you know what? I don’t have any Gay sons. I don’t even know why you had to tell us. Why would you even say this to us? You need to keep this wild talk to yourself. Look, man, you are going to have to take that Gay shit right out of this house. I won’t have it,” Armando thundered. “ You have a beautiful girlfriend! What about her?” “ She knows. We broke up.” “What will your other friends...not those Gay ones… people like Felix, say?” “ They know.” Isabel startles at this. She’s stung by the information that his friends all knew. Victor’s real life was going on right under their noses and they had no clue? 

Armando continues his rant. “This is a bad decision. It’s going to follow you for your whole life. You’ll be treated like a joke, Victor, or worse. Every job you ever get, the minute you walk out of a room, the talk will start. No one will respect you. You’re destroying your life,Victor. You’re taking on a world of hurt. It’s mean out there. Vicious. And very dangerous. Things will be very hard for you.” The effort of holding it together is finally wearing on Victor. He stands up. His eyes well up as he nods,” You know, you’re right about the problems. It’s scary out here. There will be some hard times. And I can’t face that alone. “

“But I certainly wouldn’t expect my own parents to be part of that crowd, the ones who will make life harder for me, who might try to hurt me. Or the kind of parents who will stand by like spectators while other people try to hurt me. Is that how being a family really works? You always tell me how much you love me. You just forgot to add that there’s exceptions. There’s a limit. Mami, you call me your rock?? Well, who’s my rock? Since you’re not there for me. And Papi, you can yell all you want. I’ll always be your son. Always. You don’t get to disown me. It might sound good, because you’re so upset right now, but you don’t get to do that.” Victor’s trembling from head to toe. His left leg is jumping, keeping time with a rhythm no one else can hear.

Isabel finally gathers her thoughts. “Victor, maybe this is a phase. Maybe you’re confused? I think all of us need some counseling.” She reached out to pat Armando’s hand. He looks like he might stroke out. “ If we were back home, Father Joseph would be there for us...but here...I don’t know…”,Isabel was lost. “Victor, I want to try to understand you, but mi amor, I don’t understand what you’re talking about, saying you’ve been going through something for years, I mean you’re only 16…” 

He paces to keep from shaking. “Mami, I knew I was different by the time I was 11-12, OK? I had to sit there, hiding, right there in front of you, listening to the jokes, and the mocking, and the ridicule, not just from you two being cruel, laughing at people, acting ignorant, but our whole family, our friends, our neighbors, the kids at school. I’d listen to the stories of guys getting beaten up or even worse. I was made to feel bad about myself, and really scared a lot of the time. I have always, through all of that, been trying so, so hard to fit in. I was desperate to fit in. … But I couldn't…. And I know now, I won’t survive too much longer the way things have been going. So I have to be myself, not some fake version other people expect me to be.” Isabel absorbs Victor’s words like blows. Her heart hurts. 

Armando is up now, on his side of the table, pacing, rubbing his face with both hands. It’s almost 1PM. It’s very quiet. Until Pilar goes to Victor and says,” I love you, Victor. I’m always proud of you, but especially today. You’re the bravest man I know. I will always love you, and I will always have your back! My love is unconditional.” Then she looked accusingly at her parents, ”I can’t change my feelings the way some people change clothes. “ Victor hugs her. “Thank you, Pilar. ... Look, “ he turns to his parents keeping his arm around Pilar. “Some things were said today that we all regret saying… or hearing. So,..  
I think I need to leave for a little while, too. “ His parents look at him in total shock.

“I’ve heard some terrible, hurtful things come out of both of your mouths over the years, but today, today is the worst. You’ve both really let me down.” He took a deep, tremulous breath, almost a sigh.  
“ Shame on you.... “ He shook his head in disgust, roughly swiping a tear off his cheek. He would not cry, dammit. “Shame on you. You need to be better. I want you to know. I love you. And I believe you’re way too smart to bring all the baggage you carried around in Texas. All the wrong headed ideas. None of us can really make a fresh start by doing that, and all of us need a fresh start. I’m going right now, but I’ll be in touch. I hope we can work things out.” “Where the hell are you going, Victor?” “Actually, I’m not even sure, Papi. But I can’t stay here. If someone had such a bad opinion of you, would you want to be around them?” 

“I’ll call to let you know I’m safe, and I’ll go to school, and I’m going to work, but I just can’t be here right now. I really need some help and I need support, and you have none to give me. Maybe you just don’t know how. But it hurts my heart more than I can even say. Now, If you don't mind, I need to take a shower.” Victor’s heart was aching, his eyes stung with unshed tears, and his legs felt weak, but he felt a sense of relief at the same time. Once in his room, he texted Benji: ”It’s done. Will I see you at Mia’s? “ “Benji: Yes. R U OK?” “No. And yes. “ Benji: ILY.” Victor: “Yes. me too.” Then he texted Felix: “Hey, I’m in shower. Be ready in 20?” Felix: “All set. R U OK?” Victor texts back: “Need duffle bag. U were right.” 

<


	6. Deliverance....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his passionate declaration shatters the illusion of a happy family, he has no definite plans, only that his survival depends on walking away from a toxic environment... so Victor leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the difficult part...but the only way out is through,...right?

As Victor was coming out of the shower he heard the door of Pilar’s room slam shut. He dressed quickly then filled his back pack with his books and more essentials. As he left his room he heard Pilar crying. He knocked softly. “Pilar? “ She opened the door, looking frantic, and heartbroken, and deeply hurt. “What will I do without you, Victor? How can I stand it here? “ “ Pilar, Pilar. Listen to me,” he cupped her tear stained face in his hands and forced her to look at him. “I love you. What you did for me today, you will never know how much that means. Sometimes, I think the only reason I’m brave is because of you. Did you ever think of that? That’s how much I need you. We need one another! I’m not leaving you. You’ll never be without me. And as long as I live, I have your back.” “But where will you go?” “I’m not sure, but hopefully close by.” He smiled, his eyes brimming over with tears.

Pilar was sobbing into his shirt. She sounded as if something had broken inside her “ hey, Pilar, “ he whispers,” I won’t be far away. If you want to talk, call me. Or we’ll see one another at school, we can even have lunch together whenever you want. And if you just need to talk, Felix is here for you. He wanted you to know that. He said if you are ever in a jam, go to him. Look. This is no joke, Pilar. Felix is a lifeline OK? And I am. So even if it looks like you’re alone here, you're not. You have serious back up. “ She wraps her arms around him and they stand there for a long time. Victor’s fingers massage the tangle in her hair. It seems to soothe her.

There’s a soft knock on the door. Isabel opens it slowly and sees the brother and sister embracing, Pilar clinging to Victor for dear life. Isabel can’t stop the tears, her face muscles twitch so she can hardly form words, and she barely has any voice left. It’s hard for her to look at Victor. “Victor, Felix is here. He said you asked him to pick you up? “ “Thanks Mami. Hey.” He stood there next to Pilar, holding tightly to her hand. “Look. I want Pilar to be able to call me, and I expect to be able to call her, whenever we need to. If either you or Papi try to block that, stop us from talking, it’s only going to make this worse. Pilar is in bad shape right now if you haven’t noticed. Just remember that beautiful prayer you and Papi said about God protecting your family? Yeah. Think about that. “ Victor’s face was hard, his voice firm. “I’ll call you later, Pilar, OK? “ 

He walked past Armando and Adrian, who was watching the dragon movie, and Adrian jumped up. “Victor!! What's going on?” Victor hugs him tight. “Hey sweetheart. I’m going away for a few days. But Pilar will be here. And I’ll try to come over maybe Friday or Saturday, and we can have breakfast together OK? And we can do something fun.“ Armando started to interrupt, but Victor looked at him and with a new sense of determination he didn’t realize he possessed, staring into Armando’s soul as he told Adrian, “Nothing will keep me away from you sweetheart. You know that. And never forget this, Adrian, I love you, always.” he kissed Adrian and walked out the door to find Felix in tears too. “Now what?” Felix was just just brushing away the remnants of a good cry, and said, “Man, I was not eavesdropping! (Well, Felix, yeah, you were. But we get it.) I just couldn’t help hearing some of it. Damn, Victor. You are the bravest man I know. “ 

Felix and Victor walked to the corner, where Lake was waiting in her mother’s car. She jumped out and ran to Victor, giving him a quick hug, “I love you, Victor. Now get in. Mia’s going to kill us if we’re late, and I have one more stop. “ The route seemed familiar, but Victor noticed that they weren’t on the way to Mia’s. “Where are you going, Lake? “ No answer. When they turned down Benji’s street in Inman Park, he was sitting on the porch, easing his impatience by tying knots in the invasive wisteria vines that spilled down a steep incline on either side of the front stairs. As soon as he spotted him, Victor flew out of the car into Benji’s arms. 

Trite? I know. But that’s what he did. I mean, think Jack Dawson rushing to Rose after she jumped out of the lifeboat, as the Titanic sunk, right? Victor brushed the hair out of Benji’s eyes, and kissed him long and deep and tender. Finally, they headed to the car. Lake watched them and sighed, “.Damn I feel so good, Felix! ” He smiled, and brushed a few tears away. “Yeah.” he nodded, “this is a righteous thing we’re doing. I’m so glad you’re with me!” Lake patted his cheek, “Where else would I be Felix Weston!” 

Mia was putting the finishing touches on a sushi platter. Out on the patio,Cokes and sodas were chilling in a copper tub of ice, along with sparkling water and three bottles of Chardonnay. There were little bowls of snacks scattered around on various end tables, and a bowl of fresh flowers on the larger glass topped table. She heard Andrew’s pick up truck at the back gate of the long driveway. “Hey, Mia!” “Up here!” she waved from the open kitchen window. “Did you find one?” “Yeah, I got the last one. I went to Goodwill up on Buford Highway. $20. Picked up a lamp too. It’s my contribution” he laughed. He came inside and hugged her, planting a sweaty kiss on her neck.” “Eww! You need a shower!” “First let me carry this bed frame to the pool house and set it up.” 

,

The pool house was just a small, light blue stucco building at the back of the Brooks’ property, about the size of a Residence Inn studio suite,400 -500 sf. It had a bathroom with a shower and vanity, A closet, and a small kitchenette, with a fridge, a microwave, and a small electric cooktop. There was a desk & an office chair, a loveseat and a small cocktail table. No TV, but the WiFi hook up was there. A new full sized mattress and box spring leaned against a wall, still in their wrapping. 

Andrew propped the door open, then carefully carried the steel mattress frame into the room. The odor of the cleaning products he & Mia used this morning, still hung in the air, so he cut the window AC on, turned on the ceiling fan, and left the door open while he worked. In about 20 minutes,he’ assembled the frame, then fitted the mattress set on it, and tested it with his weight to make sure it was sturdy. When he walked back to the house Mia was waiting with sushi. “Tell me. Is it good?” Andrew smiled. “Hmm.let’s see...I think I need another piece...not sure…” He laughed. She whacked him on the shoulder, then gave him a look. “Whut?” “I was just thinking. You seem happy, Andrew. It doesn’t bother you that Victor may become a tenant in the pool house?” 

Andrew sprawled on a patio chair just outside the french doors from the kitchen, at one of the smaller tables, holding an ice cold bottle of water to his temple, “Look. I have confidence in “Us”. In me and you. Truthfully? It makes me feel good to do this. We’re doing a good thing, Mia. And I like Salazar. I’ve gotten to know him a little bit. He’s competitive and he’s tough, but he’s a really decent guy, too.You asked me to help, but I’m happy to do it. You know?...My own mother never really got over her Irish Catholic family throwing her out for marrying my Dad.” 

“Plus, Victor’s dating Benji Campbell. So he is cuffed. Locked down. I wish I had a dollar for all the girls I’ve heard talk about how hot Benji is. It’s a good fit. I love Mia Brooks. Ever since I was in 3rd grade, I have been in love with Mia Brooks.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. ”Andrew? Please, please take a shower. You taste salty..and you smell like Clorox. You can use my bathroom, just do not leave wet towels on the floor!”. Andrew went up to shower while Mia surveyed the food set up: veggie tray, a plate of assorted cheese and crackers, a fruit tray and the sushi. God bless Costco’s! More than enough. Not a meal, but nice. She felt silly for a moment for agreeing to let Lake bring a Tres Leches cake, but whatever. She covered each tray carefully and was transferring them to the catering refrigerator in the back pantry when her phone rang. 

“Hey Mia? Hi. This is Emily Spier. I won’t get there until sometime around 3:30? Is that OK? “ “Oh, hey, Mrs. Spier. That’s fine. No one is here yet, and I know how busy you must be.” “I’m not too busy for Victor. Simon made me swear a blood oath, and with what Victor is going through, especially today, he’ll need all the love and support we have. I think you and the rest of his friends are pretty incredible. I can’t wait to meet everyone in person. Will Felix be there? “ Mia laughed. “Oh, yes! Felix will definitely be here. In fact, when you arrive, we can play a little guessing game. See if you can pick Felix out! “ Emily laughed, “I look forward! See you later sweetie!” 

There’d be six of them, plus Emily. She expected her father to get in sometime around 7 from the airport. He’d been in Chicago with his pregnant fiancee, Veronica, who was still there teaching a two week seminar. Things were definitely getting better between them, but Mia looked forward to some alone time with her father. Well, alone except for Andrew. She had texted her father about inviting Victor to stay if he needed a place, and Harold thought it was a great idea. 


	7. A New Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor's friends rally around, and he finally comes face to face with Emily Spier....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love some feedback. Especially like your take on the new Andrew...

Mia was washing her hands in the kitchen when she caught sight of Lake and the tres leches cake coming up the driveway. “Mia! We’re here!” she called. It was 2:30. Mia took the cake and put it on the kitchen counter, “Where is everybody?” “Oh, they're having a bonding moment in the car. Mia, Victor’s not good. He’s devastated. His eyes look so sad, and he’s so quiet. I know I suggested we sort of celebrate his coming out, but maybe this isn’t the time. It’s like he's in deep mourning.…. where’s Andrew?” 

“Here’s Andrew! What up, Peaches?” Lake rolled her eyes. She hated Andrew’s nickname for her. Hated it. He walked into the kitchen,squeezed Mia’s shoulder,”Where is everybody?” Mia turned to him, “Hey, Andrew, be gentle. Victor’s not doing well at all. This is exactly what Emily Spier meant the first time we spoke, when she said coming out to your parents could be a really traumatic experience. Lake says Victor seems like he’s in mourning...” Andrew stood there for a moment, absorbing the information. His expression changed. “Thanks for the heads up….” Then he went outside to meet up with them,“ “Awww, c’mere Victor!” Andrew went in for a hug, “Man, you’re going to get through this. I promise. Hey. We’re all here for you. I’m not just sayin that, OK?” Victor gave him a weak smile, “Thanks Andrew. I appreciate it. I’m just trying to get my head around what happened. I guess I need some time to process. “ Andrew patted him on the back, then started talking music with Benji, and they all seemed to relax.

Andrew’s goal was normalcy, staying positive. Lake and Mia went out to join them as they made their way into the terraced backyard and up the few steps to a wide, raised patio, lined with potted plants & flowers. Mia and Victor hugged as she smiled through her tears. “Thanks for this, Mia,” he whispered. “Victor, I am so, so proud of you! You’re taking the first step towards being really happy! You don’t feel like it right this minute, but you will get there! “ 

Brushing away her tears, she turned to Benji, hugging him too, “Benji! I’m so glad you could come!” Benji smiled warmly, “Hey, Mia, it’s really great that you’re doing this. I’m at a complete loss for words. ” “Hey, we love Victor, and we know you love him too. We’re here for both of you. Everyone, there are drinks over there in the cooler. Victor, Emily Spier is going to join us in a little while. She said she’d try to get here by 3:30.” 

Simon already texted him a half dozen times, and Victor was updating him as much as he could. He sat down at the foot of one of the chaise lounge chairs and Felix came over to sit with him. “ You got everyone together like this for me, man. I don’t even have words, Felix. I mean…” Felix hugged Victor,”I’d give my right arm for you Victor!” (Felix is left handed…but it’s the thought that counts, right?) ) then he announced impatiently, “I’m hungry. I was too nervous to eat breakfast today…” The laughter of his friends felt good. Andrew walked over to the cooler to get himself a Coke, and handed Victor a bottle of water as he passed, “Here, man, hydrate. Seriously. You’ll feel a lot better. Trust me.” 

Benji came over, pulled up a chair and took Victor’s hand, keenly aware of the sadness in his eyes, lurking just below the surface. Felix ‘s face grew serious, “Hey, Victor, If you want to talk about it that’s totally OK. if you don’t that’s OK too.” Victor nodded, “ I will. I just need a minute. ...but your advice really helped. It focused me.“ He explained to Benji, “Felix told me basically, to be the grown up in the room. Be calm and positive as much as I could, and not get trapped into arguing... It almost worked.” Benji smiled, as he played with Victor’s fingers. “ Babe, I don’t think you realize how brave you were today. What you did was hard. I ‘ve been there. But this is the worst of it. You got through the hardest part.” Victor nodded, then turned again to Felix.”I’m really worried about Pilar, Felix. She’s going to need you. Can you check on her?” “I’m on it, no problem!” 

As Mia and Lake started setting the food out, Emily walked in as if on cue. Mia greeted her, and made introductions. Emily smiled, scanned the small group, then walked over to a very surprised Felix and gave him a hug. She turned to Mia, “Am I right?” Mia laughed, “Bingo! Grand Prize.” Felix thought Emily had mistaken him for Victor until she explained. “ We’ve texted, but I’m honored to meet you, Mrs. Spier,” he said. She turned to Victor. “Hey,Victor Salazar! “ then she kissed his cheek, “That’s from Simon.”

Eventually everyone settled themselves around the large patio table with plates of food. Mia stood for a minute, “Excuse me, we’re all close friends, and we’re pretty informal, but I want to take a minute to welcome Emily Spier. Mrs. Spier, it means a lot to us that you’re with us. We’re together today because we love Victor, we’re his friends, and we want to support him. All of us will face a crisis at some point in our lives. But what I hope is, that we can create a safe space for one another.”

“Emily Spier is Simon Spier’s mother. Most of you’ve heard of Simon’s experience at Creekwood. He & Victor have become friends, so Emily is here for Victor today. I hope we can come up with some plans, and ideas of how we can actively support Victor and Benji. Maybe we can just go around the table and see...” Mia turned expectantly to Andrew.”Thanks, Mia. So let’s call this the first gathering of the Salazar/Campbell support team. What I hope we can do today, is strategize and maybe put together a “to do “ list, or whatever, that will help keep Victor and Benji safe, and reach out to other people who will support all our Gay classmates so they don’t catch any shit from our school community.”

“ For starters, I’ve got an appointment to talk to the coach of our basketball team tomorrow morning at 8:00. I plan on working with him to make sure our team mates behave. But I want to do more than that, I want them to actively support Victor and Benji. Not just on the basketball court.” Then Benji spoke up, “Thanks Andrew, I reached out to Creekwood High’s LGBT Association this morning, too. They helped me a lot when I came out last year. So maybe we can work with the basketball team. You may want to mention that to the coach?” Andrew smiled appreciatively, “Great idea! Thanks, man.” 

Lake wanted to make sure that information and news was spread in the right way, and that harmful, hate postings and malicious gossip on CreekSecrets and other social media were flagged. “I’m supposed to get together with Ms. Albright tomorrow, to coordinate how social media can help manage anything that comes up and help support you, too.” Felix was next, “I’m just the crisis manager. So I’ll do whatever you need me to do, Victor, Benji. ” Then Victor, who laughed, “Well,... I guess I’m the crisis, ...” 

Emily looked around the table and began,” When Simon came out, it was rocky at first, because he was outed in a very public way. He was devastated. Things were pretty ugly for a while. But luckily, he had a family who supported him. A lot of young people don’t have that experience. By coming out, they’re putting themselves at risk. Sometimes, their own families turn their backs on them. Some are beaten, many are left homeless, and worse. It’s a pretty grim picture.” Emily’s worlds were sobering. “So, I want you to know your active support and your love are important. This is no small thing. And my heart is full just being here with you. Victor, you might get sick of hearing this, but what you are doing takes a lot of courage. You’re a very brave young man.”

“I understand that Victor is no longer at home. I don’t know what your arrangements are Victor, but it’s very important that wherever Victor is staying, it remains very private for now. It is a matter of his safety, and your own safety.” Victor interjected, “Uh, actually...I didn’t make any arrangements.... “ Felix spoke up, “Yeah, well we didn’t have a chance to talk to you about that yet, but it’s covered, turns out you have a couple of choices.” 

Emily smiled at Felix, “Well, crisis manager, you can add my house to that list too.” she laughed. “Victor, tomorrow morning, I’ ll be meeting with Ms. Albright at 8:30 or so, to discuss some of the things she and I can do to help you ...and your family. But mostly, for you. So I expect she’ll be reaching out to you some tie tomorrow. Can I just say, I think all of you are pretty amazing! I hope you’ll let me be part of your friends’ circle”. 

Victor stood up, “ Thanks Mrs. Spier. I’d like to say a few words. I’m really amazed at what you all are doing, just being here for me. So, thank you, with all my heart! I think I want to share some of what happened this morning. First, let me say, Felix, you are pure gold, man. Eres mi hermano de otra sangre! You gave me great advice! “ He paused, then smiled, “Some of it really helped.” Then Victor turned serious, “ Today, I came out to my family, my parents and my sister Pilar. I said the words, “I’m Gay” outloud to them for the first time. I actually thought for a minute, that if I didn’t make a big deal out of it, or act like this was something bad, that it would persuade them it was OK. It almost worked. I tried as much as possible to be calm, to act confident, and not to argue about stupid stuff, like “how can you be Gay.”

”My parents, we come from a small town in Texas. They’re religious and conservative, like the rest of the family. So today, I heard that being Gay was a sin. A perversion. I heard that Gays were freaks and child molesters.Then my parents told me it was a phase, and I need counseling. I told them this was not a phase, it was not a choice. That I was born this way. My father blamed Lady GaGa.” Victor smiled in the re-telling, and lightened the mood. His friends laughed appreciatively. 

But then his tone turned serious again. ” Both my parents were angry, asking me why I even told them! Why even say anything? My father warned me my life will be hard, it will be dangerous, and that it’s mean out here. So, I told him that it was too bad that my own family would be on the side of those who wished me harm.” 

Victor’s voice broke, and his eyes welled up. Benji, sitting beside him, wiped the tears from his own cheeks, and again took Victor’s hand. “My exact words were, “Shame on you.” Then,my father told me that he had no Gay sons. That I needed to get that “Gay shit” out of his house. Now, technically he didn’t put me out of the house. I told them I had to leave. I told them I needed help and support and that there was none for me in that house. And right now, except for my sister Pilar, there isn’t. So, I packed a few things, and I left. “ 

“Oh. And my parents had their own announcement. At breakfast, they told us they’re separating temporarily. So now, my only real concern is for Pilar, who’s 14, and for my 7 yr. old brother Adrian. I’m feeling better now than I did a few hours ago, thanks, Andrew” Victor smiled and held up his water bottle, “I love my parents. I told them they were too smart to carry the baggage of their prejudices from Texas here to Atlanta and still expect to make a fresh start. I told them I loved them, and they needed to be better. So. That’s about it. I don't know how they might be feeling now that they have had time to think. They might be even more pissed off. Or, maybe... they’ll feel the same sadness I feel.” 

Victor looked around at the faces of his friends, and there wasn’t a dry eye among them. “Oh, and most important, Felix, you asked me why now. Why couldn’t I wait? It‘s a fair question. I told you I loved someone, and I wanted to do right by them, and show them respect. Benji, tú eres mi corazón! “ 

Suddenly Andrew piped up, “ Damn, Victor, that’s beautiful….I took Spanish, man. I’m gonna have to remember that.” Mia looked puzzled, so Andrew translated Victor’s words,” He said, “You are my heart.” and they had a moment...but ...Suddenly Lake came out from the kitchen with the Tres Leches cake. “ You know,” she announced, “Today was a big day for our friend. Today he came out. So can we celebrate that? Victor, this is like your new birthday!”


	8. You Are Not Homeless...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor's friends really step up for him....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Victor walked out of his father's house, he had no idea what the next steps might be, or where he would go. He was marking time from one hour to the next...literally in freefall. But Benji, Mia, & Andrew become his safety net...thanks to a very able crisis manager....

It was a little before 6 when Emily began saying her goodbyes, “Victor, Can you and Benji and Felix walk me out to my car? “ She had her arm around Victor, and thanked them all for a beautiful evening, “Victor, if you’re comfortable with it, I’d like to start having some informal talks with you. We won't call them formal counseling sessions unless your parents agree, since I need their permission. But if you like, you can come by my house, maybe Tuesday around 4, and we can set up some time to talk about how you're doing and where we go from here?” She looked at Benji, “ Benji if you like, you can pick Victor up, and then maybe the two of you can stay for dinner?” Benji smiled, “Sure, Mrs. Spier, I mean if Victor is willing … I think that would be great.” 

“Now, I understand you have a job? “ “Yeah Benji & I work together.” “Do you have a bank account?” Emily asked. “Yes, it’s a joint account with my mother.” Emily looked searchingly into his eyes. “Can you write a check?” “Yeah, I have a checkbook, but I never use it.” “Do you have it with you?” “I guess. It’s in my bookbag. I used it to pay my basketball fees, and I think I left it there. Why? What’s the problem?” “Good. I want you to write a check to yourself to cash, or use an ATM, for all but $10-$20. Leave that small amount in the account to keep it open. That way you’ll still be able to cash your paychecks. Do it as soon as you can. Can I ask you how much you have?” Victor thought about it.”Not more than maybe $600, at most. Probably less. Why? ” His stomach was knotting up with anxiety.

“Because Victor, you’re going to have to have some cash on you. Get yourself a gift card or a debit card so you won’t carry too much actual cash. But considering you’re living on your own, you’ll have expenses. You might need to buy clothes, or groceries, or money for transportation, school fees. And as much as I hate to say this, sometimes parents will freeze a bank account so they can pressure you to come back, even if it isn't safe to go home.” 

Victor looked at her and the deep sadness came back into his eyes. “Do you really think they’d hurt me?” Emily hugged him. “Honey, they already have. That environment is not healthy for you. It was toxic. Especially for a Gay teenager. There’s nothing you can do to convince them you’re normal, or that you’re a good person. They already know that. You can’t fix this for them. You have to focus on your own health right now. “ Emily hugged him again. Then she hugged Benji, and Felix. “You take care, OK? I’ll see you Tuesday. Felix, Benji, call if you need me. And Victor, remember, you’re always welcome in my home.”

As they walked back to the house, Andrew intercepted them in the driveway. “Hey, Mia and I have something to show you….” The three couples walked back to the pool house. Andrew had turned on the outdoor lights and the little lamp inside, and except for the unmade bed, it looked almost cozy. Victor looked puzzled. “What’s this? “ Mia explained, “This is your room if you want it, Victor. A little tiny studio apartment. My father said you can stay here as long as you need to. You have your privacy and there’s a bathroom, a shower, and even a little kitchenette. The fridge works and you can get WiFi. You’ll just have to watch TV on a laptop…You don’t have to decide this minute, but we wanted you to know. You are not homeless. ”

Victor shook his head.”I don’t know what to say .I...just… I have no words…” He turned right into Benji’s arms. Felix and Lake took a two minute tour of the pool house. Lake offered,“ This needs some brightening up, but it’s really very nice. And it’s so clean.” Mia laughed, “Yeah, well you should have seen it this morning before Andrew and I tackled it.” Victor looked from Mia to Andrew. “ I can’t believe you did this for me. I never realized…” 

Felix nodded at Benji, and spoke up, “ Well this is just one offer. You also have another..” Benji smiled, “Yeah, Victor. This is great. In fact it’s kind of perfect. But we were thinking that for the first few nights, maybe you can stay at my house? Emily thought it might be a good idea not to be alone just at first. And it’ll give us a chance to do some shopping. You need a few things to get you situated. Mia, Andrew, would that be OK?” She smiled, “ Of course. Whatever you decide.” “Victor?” 

Victor looked at Benji,and smiled, “ I think I'll go with Benji’s suggestion, and how about Wednesday or Thursday for a move in date? Does that work?” “ I’m thinking the weekend might be better, but hey, that’s on you...” Andrew endorsed his decision. “You’ve had one helluva day. I say we finish that Tres Leches cake. Then order some real food.” He looked lovingly at Mia, “Whut? Don’t get me wrong, I love sushi, but I’ve done manual labor. I’m a carnivore!” Lake suggested Poor Calvin’s, setting off a debate about crab meat grilled cheese vs. lobster mac & cheese. “I’m treating, everyone!” She announced. “ I still have my mother’s credit card from when we stopped for gas on the way back from Charleston. She won’t mind.”


	9. Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Benji shares his world with Victor....

Since Lake lived nearby, Benji, Victor, and Felix called a Lyft. After they dropped Felix on the corner of his block, in the Virginia Highlands area, they went on to Inman Park. Benji’s Mom was sitting on the front porch of the large craftsman bungalow in the dark with a glass of wine. The outdoor ceiling fan was making it so comfortable she was getting drowsy. “ Well, hello! Victor, Benji told me we might have a guest this evening. It’s so nice to see you! Just set your duffle bag inside the door and come sit for a minute? Is that OK?”

“Goodness, Benji, it’s not quite 10:00.. I’m glad you’re home early.I wanted to see you both and make sure you’re OK, but I need to get to bed soon. I have a closing in Alpharetta tomorrow at 8:30 AM, and then two more later in the day, including one in Brookhaven at 3, and Marietta around 11. I’m all over the place. Busy day. Victor, sweetie, you doin OK? I’m a realtor, so I run a lot. Benji’s Dad will be in Augusta until Wednesday night at some medical conference, so you two might be on your own a lot. But with school and work, I’m sure you’ll keep busy.”

“Mrs, Campbell, I really appreciate you letting me stay over.” Sally Anne sort of cocked her head to the side, and smiled, reaching for his hand, “Victor, all families go through rough patches. Sweetie, I hope with all my heart you and your parents can work things out. Benji thinks the world of you!. He says you’re kind-hearted, you work hard, you're smart,... and you're fun! That tells me your parents got something right. So try to be patient, and I’m gonna pray, and y’all will get through this. We’ve gone through some very rough times, here too. It’s all part of living a life, Victor. “ She smiled, “stuff happens.”

She got up and gave Victor a motherly “it’s gonna be OK” hug, then kissed Benji, and told them they could go up to the third floor and take the larger room with the twin beds if they wanted, “to keep each other company.” Benji smiled, it was his sanctuary, a large room, with a nice bathroom, and the added bonus that it had its own upstairs porch. Best of all, it was in back of the house, the opposite side from his parents’ second floor bedroom. .

When Felix got out of the Lyft, he stopped for a few minutes, scanning the street, slowly making his way to his building. He was uneasy, and half expected Armando Salazar to be waiting for him. But no one was around. It was a quiet Sunday night. No traffic, and the only light from Victor’s family’s apartment was the glow of the TV set. Felix made his way to his apartment very quietly, and once inside,breathed a sigh of relief. It had been an eventful day, and the last thing he wanted was any kind of confrontation. 

Lake left shortly after Felix, and Andrew was helping Mia pick up the patio and put leftovers away, when Harold Brooks, Mia’s father, came into the kitchen. “Hey, Daddy, when did you get in?” Mia kissed Harold and he wrapped an arm around her,”Oh, a little before 8. I didn’t want to interrupt your gathering. How did it go?” “Daddy, Victor is really taking this hard, almost like he’s in mourning.. But we made sure he knows he has a lot of support. “

“Andrew and I cleaned up the Pool House this morning, and picked up a mattress and box spring from the discount place, then he went over to Goodwill to get a bed frame and put it all together, so…” Harold beamed at Andrew, “Man I’ve known you most of your life,” he chuckled,” and you never cease to amaze me. Good job, Andrew! Excellent!” Harold shook his head, “Hey, how’s your Dad doing?” Andrew nodded and explained,” He’s good, sir. He’s in Ghana right now working on that clean water project. His company’s part of an international team. They’re getting financing from China, if you can believe it…” Harold nodded, “Oh, yeah, I can. China is investing a lot of money in roads and infrastructure projects in African countries right now.”

“ Look, Mia, I don’t have much travel scheduled for the next few months, thankfully, so I’ll be around more. ( was he looking at Andrew?... Yeah, he was) I want you to let me know what’s going on with Victor’s situation. I want to help if I can.” He opened the fridge,scanning the shelves for...something... “Poor Calvin’s Lobster Mac & Cheese? Damn. How much did you order? Mia, can you hand me a plate?” “Daddy, can Andrew…” Harold gave Andrew the “I’m her father look” and cut Mia’s question off, “Yes, Andrew can spend the night if that’s what you’re asking. We’ve got five bedrooms….I’m sure we can find an EMPTY one for Andrew…” 

Victor followed Benji up to the third floor of his home, to the room they’d share. Benji cut on the lights and the ceiling fan then walked over to the french doors that opened up to the porch. Victor set his duffle bag down. “Wow. Benji, this is so cool. You have your own studio, you have an easel set up, a drawing table, and these guitars! They’re beautiful..” Benji walked over and caressed Victor’s neck, ruffled his hair, “Yeah, that’s where all my money goes.” Victor picked up an Alhambra Natura Cadette made of cedar and mahogany. It had a good weight and feel to it. He strummed a few chords…” This is beautiful!” 

Benji buried his face in the smell of Victor’s warm skin for a moment, easily sliding his arms around Victor’s waist. “Mmm, hmm. I got it second hand and took it to the shop so they could adjust it, fix it up. I think Victor Salazar might enjoy fooling around with it...” Victor leaned against him comfortably, “Could I? It’s really fine, Benji.…” he set the guitar back in its stand and looked at the other two, including the electric Eastman…” Yeah that was pretty expensive. It was a gift from my Dad. He knew I wanted it.” 

Victor meandered over to the record collection on the metal shelves against the far wall from the guitars. “Dang! Look at all this vinyl ! “ he exclaimed.”... and you have a turntable,speakers, I mean…” Benji laughed softly, “Yeah, well the vinyl mostly belonged to my grandfather. Before he died, he told my father he wanted me to have it. There’s a lot of classic rock stuff, even blues. I spend a lot of time up here. My mom & dad renovated the third floor after my accident. “

“They wanted to find ways to support my interests, help me with recovery. I think, yeah, parents get it wrong, but, Victor, they love you. They just have to learn to love all the parts of you, because there isn’t an inch of you that isn’t beautiful to me…” Victor was thoughtful. “Suppose they don’t, Benji?” Benji sighed, turning Victor so he could see the pain in his eyes. “Victor, life will go on. It’s their loss. They’d be fools to walk away from something as precious as you. Your life will go on. And it will be a beautiful life. You’ll make it beautiful. Always hold on to that.” He caressed Victor’s face, then pulled him close. As their mouths connected, and Victor yielded, he said a silent prayer that what he felt in that moment, he could hold onto forever.

They wandered outside to the back porch. For early April, it was unusually mild. It was dark, and still except for the murmur of the ceiling fan. Benji lit the incense sticks on the metal side table, then sat on a small loveseat pulling Victor down beside him. His arm sat protectively on Victor’s shoulders. “You got through it, Victor. You’re still standing.” “I guess,” He shrugged. “I know I did the right thing today. It feels right, Benji. I’m at peace with it. But Christ, it hurt to hear the words they said to me. I had to leave. Right then. I just can’t live like that anymore. I won’t.“ His head rose and fell with Benji’s breathing, resting against Benji’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. Benji tightened his hold and they moved closer. It was quiet for a few minutes. But Victor had something on his mind.

“ We have school tomorrow. “ “Yeah?” “So how do we handle it? Do we walk down the hall holding hands and kissing, with our arms around one another, or what?” Benji was quiet for a while. “Well. I love kissing you. You are an incredible kisser...it’s addictive...and.I love holding hands. Even if it would be a challenge to do it with our arms around one another...not impossible...but challenging…” he laughed,” But maybe at first, I think we should be kind of low key. Not hiding. Just let it happen kind of organically. I’m not gonna pretend we’re not a couple, I mean, if I come to you in the hall, and want a hug, or just want to acknowledge you, then sure, we ought to do what we’re comfortable with. But honestly, I’ve never felt like I had to prove anything or stake a claim by putting on a show. I guess I like my privacy. I mean, I feel like what we have is special, and while I definitely don’t want to keep it a secret, I don’t want to share too much of it.”

Victor nodded, “Yeah. Actually, Mia was always wanting to kiss in the hallways when we changed classes, or in the cafeteria. Even at Brasstown!” Benji laughed. “I know! Used to drive me crazy!” “Even then?” “Yeah, ...even then.”... . “Maybe it’s a thing with girls. I definitely felt like she was staking out her territory. Almost like a performance. It made me so self conscious. But maybe that was because I was trying to fake being straight.” he laughed. Benji brought Victor’s hand to his lips, “Will you mind if I do this when I feel like it?” Victor smiled in the dark, “No. And please don’t mind once in a while, if I kiss you on the back of your neck, ...or nibble on your earlobe…” he murmured, before turning to find Benji’s mouth, warm and soft against his, so their tongues could do their slow dance to the rhythm of the fan. 

Finally, “ Hey, it’s just 11. We need to get some sleep. I usually shower in the morning, it helps me wake up?...” Victor nuzzled Benji just at the juncture of his neck, below his ear. “I usually shower at night because I can take longer.” Benji stood up, pulling Victor to his feet, “So, you’re welcome to shower now if you like…” They went inside. Victor rummaged through the duffle bag looking for his toothbrush, and the t-shirt and pajama shorts he usually slept in, then went into the bathroom and cut on the shower. It was a stand up shower separate from the tub. He wasn’t surprised when a stripped down Benji opened the glass door, and stepped in smiling, “...better for the environment?…” he teased. Victor’s eyes burned him, “You are so beautiful, it takes my breath away…”


	10. Monday Morning, Creekwood High...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Victor and Pilar reunite before classes Monday morning, Victor is even more worried about what's going on at home. Lake's PR strategy saves Mia, Victor, Benji, and Andrew, and Ms. Albright summons Victor to her office.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sort of in love with Benji's mom. She reminds me of a TV Cook in the UK, by the name of Juliet Sear...  
> I've always thought Andrew, given half a chance, might step up. If I could have reached in and given Pilar a hug I would have...she needs one.

Victor was out cold when Benji woke a little after 6AM. They shared one bed, just until Victor fell asleep, then Benji moved over to his own bed. Both of them needed a good night’s rest. Benji went into the bathroom, took care of his business and brushed his teeth, washed his face.Then he slipped down stairs as quietly as he could to make coffee for his mother. He checked his phone, and saw a message from Andrew offering them a ride if they could be ready by 7:30. He confirmed.

Sally Anne padded into the kitchen, barefoot, wearing leggings and a t-shirt and dragging her jump rope with her. “Mornin’ sweetie! Did you get some rest, Benji? “ “Yeah, Mama. I slept very well, and Victor was asleep before his head hit the pillow. How about you? You doin’ OK?” Benji was standing in front of the open refrigerator trying to make a decision. Sally Anne, who was reviewing her messages, suddenly let out a squeal, “Yes! Our Alpharetta closing has been moved to 9:00!!! I won’t have to head out until 8: 15. That means I can get in my whole workout this morning. I guess I’ll have to change things around with my 11 AM. No way I can get there. I’ll see if they can move it to 1 PM.”

“ Hey, do you and Victor need a ride to school? “ Benji shook his head, “ Thanks, but we’re good. I’m meeting with some of the LGBT kids this morning. Andrew Spencer from the basketball team is going to speak to his coach and see if we can coordinate and come up with an action plan to push back against bullying and talk about how to make the school safer for Gay kids. He offered to pick us up….” “Wow. I’m impressed...and very proud of you, Benji..... Can I just say? Ever since you told me all about how Victor showed up at that cafe looking for a job, you’re a different person. You’re more yourself again. You smile more, laugh easier, and seems like you have more energy….as much as I hate to say his name, you haven’t mentioned sour old Derek in days...ever since we conspired on how to get rid of him…” They both laughed. 

“Benji, “ Sally Anne pinched his cheeks then kissed him, “I think this Victor is a keeper!” Benji’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and he blushed. “What’re you saying, Mama?” He was laughing now. “I’m sayin’ Benji Campbell, that every shut eye, ain’t asleep…” They hugged, and Benji went back to the fridge, reaching for a giant carton of Fage’ plain Greek yogurt, and a container of fresh strawberries. He put them on the granite counter next to a banana, and a box of granola. “Save me some strawberries, hon. I’ll use them for my smoothie, “ Sally Anne called out from the basement landing. Then she went down to her yoga studio to do stretches and start her regimen. 

Victor wandered into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes, and wrapped his arms around Benji’s waist. Benji turned for a quick kiss, “Are you awake or sleepwalking…” Victor mumbled into his shoulder  
“ I felt you slide out of my bed…” “You needed serious sleep and so did I…” Victor agreed, “ I really slept hard. What are you doing?” “ This? Some granola with yogurt and fresh fruit. Want some? “ “Sure.” Victor sniffed, “Your coffee smells so good!” Benji laughed. “It’s what I do! Andrew is giving us a ride. He’ll be here at 7:30. Why don’t you get dressed then come and join me? Aren’t you glad you showered last night?…” Victor’s smile was evil... “Definitely…” Benji shook his head, “Victor,... Victor…”he sighed, “...I do love seeing you in my kitchen before daylight in the morning…” 

As they got out of the pick up truck in the school parking lot, Andrew glanced at his phone. “Hey, hold up a minute. Look.” He showed Benji & Victor a photo posted on Creek Secrets of Mia feeding Andrew sushi yesterday afternoon on her patio.Victor smiled, “That’s a great picture Andrew.” the caption read “Creekwood’s newest new/old couple, blah blah blah.” Benji’s eyebrow shot up, he was puzzled, “Does this bother you?” Andrew shook his head, “No, man, Lake & Mia...and I ...agreed to post it so more people would focus on the fact we’re back together… and coincidently forget that the last time they heard, Mia was dating Victor. Get it?” 

Their eyes widened, understanding what Lake & Mia were doing. Benji smiled at Andrew, “Wow, smart move. This lets everyone move on with a minimum of gossip. I’m all for it.” Andrew nodded, “Yeah. Because I take it you guys aren't hiding your relationship, and Mia & I haven’t been hiding, so this way Mia doesn’t look bad…..and neither do the two of you. Everybody looks good. Right?” Victor patted Andrew on the back, “I’d hate for Mia or Benji to be embarrassed. Yeah, this is good. “ 

They went their separate ways once inside, Victor reading a text from Felix, “I’m with Pilar.” He walked outside to the main entrance and waved when he caught sight of them. Pilar ran up & hugged Victor, “OMG, I miss you!” He laughed, hugging her back, “I’ve only been gone one night, Pilar! Are you OK?” She looked incredulous. “Are you crazy? Who’s OK? I should be so pissed at you! After you left, it was like a death, Victor. Mami went to her room and for all I know she’s still there, Papi spent most of the time watching TV with Adrian.They treated me like I was invisible until it was time to eat. We had take-out. I checked on Mami after I got Adrian to bed, and she was sitting in the dark. She didn’t eat and she wouldn’t talk to me. Papi’s taking Adrian to school, and I’ll walk over to pick him up. Where did you go yesterday, Victor?” 

“Well, Felix and I got together with a few of our friends. They want to help me. Look, Pilar. No way do I want you catching heat, because Mami & Papi are angry with me.” Felix added, “Yeah, and I told you this morning when we met, that I’m right there for you, so don’t feel like you’re all by yourself.” Pilar nodded, “Yes, Felix, but my house is like...toxic...right now. My parents told us yesterday for breakfast they’re separating. Then Victor makes his great announcement and leaves home. And things are falling apart. I don’t even know if Papi is leaving or staying. He signed that lease. I don’t know what to do or say to Mami to get her to focus. Adrian knows something is wrong. He’s not stupid.” 

Victor lifted Pilar’s chin. ”I’m so sorry, Pilar. It's not fair that this is blowing back on you! I’m supposed to talk to a couple of people today to see what we can do. I promise. It’s so wrong, that they are letting this affect you and Adrian.” Victor was obviously upset, “But Victor, this is not your fault. None of this is any of our faults. Mami & Papi screwed up their own lives, and they made it impossible for you to stay there. If they said those things to me, I would have done what you did. In fact I wish I could leave now, but I don’t want to leave Adrian…Hey, I have to go to class.” 

Victor hugged her quickly, “ Can we have lunch together? Meet me! “ She kissed him, “OK!” started to walk away, then came back and gave Felix something resembling a hug.”If you tell people I hugged you I’ll deny it!” She smiled, wiping away tears. As they walked back into school, Felix said, “I’m having lunch with Lake, but…” Victor shook his head, “No problem, Felix! I need to spend some time with Pilar...Maybe Benji can join us, too.” he smiled. “ Sounds great, look I’ll see if we can give her a ride this afternoon and pick Adrian up, too” Victor gave him a heartfelt hug,” You really are my brother from another mother, I wasn’t joking yesterday, man.” 

As Victor’s first period class was ending, he received a summons to the office. When he walked in, Emily Spier was standing in the doorway to the reception area. She gave Victor a hug, “ I was just leaving, but I wanted to see you. How are you Victor?” “Hey, Mrs. Spier, I’m doing OK. I was able to see my sister this morning before class. Things are not good at home. She’s struggling, so I’m worried about her and my brother right now.” Emily squeezed Victor’s shoulders, “I know you are, honey. We can talk about it tomorrow, OK? We’ll be looking into that. I’ll leave you in the very capable hands of Ms Albright.” who just then called out, “Victor? Come in here, close the door and take a seat.”


	11. Ms. Albright Warns Victor About Hormones...and Pilar Falls in Love...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ms. Albright, after getting a heads up from Emily Spier, is all business as she meets with Victor to get a sense of what's going on in his life. Victor tries to be as truthful as he can. Later Victor and Pilar have "the best lunch ever!" 
> 
> I love comments. I need feedback. Anyone?....Anyone???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is strictly my interpretation of how I would like these characters to develop in Season 2. I adore Pilar, and from what I witnessed in Season 1, she's hurting too. I drew Victor as a more sympathetic, more understanding big brother. This Pilar is...herself mostly, volatile, emotional, but far more accessible. And she has a massive crush on Benji....like, who doesn't?

Ms. Albright gave Victor a sympathetic smile. “Well.You’ve had quite a three day weekend, Victor. Dr. Spier filled me in a little, but I want to hear from you, OK?” Ms. Albright was easy to talk to. She listened intently as Victor described what happened Sunday morning at his house, sometimes making notes. “Technically, my parents didn’t really throw me out, but..” “Well,” Ms Albright asked, “can you tell me, again, as close as you can remember what was actually said?” “Well, my Dad said he had no Gay sons. He said I better take, “that Gay shit” out of his house…sorry for saying that…” She laughed, “Believe me, I’ve heard much worse.”

“ This next question is a hard one, Victor. Did either one of your parents threaten you, or put their hands on you? “ Victor frowned, shook his head. “Did you at any time feel like you were in any danger of physical harm? ” Victor’s voice was barely above a whisper, “ No, not really. My dad was pretty mad. He was pacing and yelling, really getting himself worked up... I guess I did feel like at some point, if things kept going like that he might smack me, but, my parents, they don’t hit us...not since we were little...it’s unusual,...I mean…I told them their words hurt. I told them I needed help getting through this, that there was no help for me in that house….” Victor’s eyes seemed to focus on his hands worrying the zipper on his hoodie. 

“Victor, you’ve done a really hard thing by standing up for yourself. Truly. Look at me, Victor. Walking out of that toxic atmosphere was the right thing to do. Don’t blame yourself, and don’t think you can patch things up by going back home. That’s on your parents. And it would be very unhealthy for you, even dangerous. But we do have to look at all the legal implications of this. You’re a minor, and your well being is the only thing I care about.OK?” He nodded.

“Now, I understand you’ll be getting together with Dr. Spier tomorrow. I’m glad. I also heard about Andrew Spencer’s meeting with the coach this morning. That was a surprise!” she laughed. “They’re having a team meeting after school, but Coach doesn’t want you there for this one,OK? You’re still a member of the team, but he wants to hear what the boys have to say, and he believes they’ll be more open. I’m impressed with Andrew for stepping up like this. “

“There’s something else I want you to know, Victor,” she reached across the desk asking for Victor’s hand, ”I’ll be calling your parents to set up a meeting with them. Within the next few days. It has to happen soon. We take the welfare of our students seriously. So we’ll be talking about you and Pilar in that discussion.”

“ But Victor, I want that to ease your mind. No one is in any trouble. Our goal is to help find a way to repair this if it’s even possible. I hope we can get things back on track for everybody. “ Ms Albright smiled, stood up and came around her desk, signaling that the meeting was drawing to a close. Victor stood too. She placed a comforting arm on his shoulder. 

“ By the way, Dr. Spier says you're staying with Benji? “ Victor blushed, just a bit,”Yeah. Well they...she thought I shouldn’t be alone just at first, and …” She nodded. “Victor, I love Benji, and I love you, but it might not be the smartest move right now, OK? You’re 16, you’re still a minor. Depending on how your family reacts to all of this, I don’t want things to get complicated, and I definitely cannot put Benji or his family in harm's way. “ Victor shook his head, “I didn’t realize,...I mean his mother was there and…” 

“Look Victor... give yourself a few days, but just as soon as you feel you can, I want you to be able to say you’re staying at the Brooks’ residence. This keeps Benji and his family out of the conversation, and keeps the focus where it needs to be. Now, I’m not saying you can’t hang out on weekends, I’m not saying you can’t do overnighters. I’m not getting into your business. But you need to be able to count the Brooks house as your primary residence...at least temporarily….and I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to have company there.” he nodded in agreement.

“I expect you to exercise good judgement. I know. You’re 16. You have hormones. Benji’s a hot 17 yr old...he also has hormones. “ She gave Victor a quick hug, “Whatever. Just act like you have some sense, and make sure you stay close to Dr. Spier. Oh. And please keep this between the two of us, but I’m definitely recommending counseling for your parents, and I’ll be referring you to Emily Spier. 

Dr. Spier has impeccable credentials, she is a child psychologist. She’ll also give your parents the names of counselors who can help them with their problems. Consider me your guardian angel for a little while. I’ll be keeping an eye on things. I’ll probably be talking to Pilar after lunch. Listen.You’re in good hands.” She gave Victor another encouraging hug, then walked him to the door.

Pilar and Victor were sitting outside, getting ready to have lunch, Victor carefully balancing a loaded cafeteria tray, while she muttered to herself while rummaging through her backpack. “What?” Victor asked. “Nothing, only I don’t know why suddenly Papi packed so much stuff in here for my lunch...I’m not feeding the world..” Victor smiled, his eyes misting over, “ I think I know why...Maybe tomorrow, you can text me, let me know whether I should buy lunch,” he laughed. 

But Pilar was distracted. More like dumbstruck. Like the way her grandmother acted that time she met Andy Garcia. Her eyes were focused somewhere just behind Victor. Benji approached the table, smiling. He bent over, and kissed Victor’s cheek, in a semi platonic way…(Nothing about these two is ever gonna be platonic. Not on any level. Right?) 

He smiled warmly at her, and extended his hand, “ Hey, Pilar,we met at Victor’s birthday party?” Speech failed her. Victor was mildly alarmed. “Pilar? Hey. Are you OK? “ Pilar finally smiled, suddenly shy, and self conscious. She took Benji’s hand. “OMG. “ She blurted out, “So it’s true? Are you two together? Like. A couple? “ Benji blushed sweetly and laughed, “Yeah! I hope so.” His eyebrow shot up provocatively as he tried not to smile, “Is that OK?” Her face lit up! “ You are so worth leaving home for! ...I mean if I can see anything good from all this, I’m glad Victor has one of the hottest guys in school. It makes me cool by extension, you know?” Victor buries his face in his hands, “Oh, Pilar!” As Benji laughs at their expense.

Pilar noticed Benji had no tray,”Hey, are you hungry?” Benji eyed the three thick sandwiches on the table, the fruit, the snacks, and Victor’s overloaded tray, “Wow, thanks. Looks like there's enough for all Victor’s other boyfriends too!” he teased. Pilar laughed, “trust me, if he has any other boyfriends he’s crazy.” Benji was laughing again, thrown off balance by the star struck teenager, ”So, tell me something about Pilar. What do you like to do, how do you spend your time?” Pillar sat there, suddenly embarrassed, trying to figure out an answer. 

Victor rescued her. “Pilar plays piano. She’s pretty good, too. But mostly,.. “ “Mostly I hide in my bedroom, watching youtube videos. And being angry.” she confessed. Benji reached for her hand. “Hey, this is a really rough time for you, too. You’re allowed to be angry, “ He said sympathetically. “What kind of videos do you watch?” She had Victor’s devilish smile. “ Angry videos. Music videos. All kinds.” 

Benji nodded. “Have you ever thought about making your own videos?” Pilar looked puzzled but interested. “Look. Where do you think a lot of those videos come from? People make them. Just go online and do a little research. It’s not hard.There’s free software you can download. Or maybe your laptop already is set up for it. You can get video clips or just use photos, add special effects and lay tracks of music or sound or whatever.” he explained. “If you like, one day, maybe I can help you a little if that’s OK? Do you have the Tik Tok app? You can even shoot your own videos with your phone. Doesn’t have to be anything. Just, you know, scenes. Stand on a corner or go to the park, or the mall, and shoot stuff.” 

Pilar’s eyes filled with tears as she grasped Benji’s hands..”OMG, thank you!!! “ The three of them dug into the food, since lunch didn’t last that long, while Benji filled Victor in on his meeting with the LGBT kids. “It was a decent turnout. We had 7 people show up. Pretty good for short notice.” Pilar interjected  
,” Wow. How many LGBT kids do we have at Creekwood?.” Benji grew thoughtful. “Well, not sure.The organization is made up of LGBT kids and their allies. But honestly, a lot of kids who could use the support aren’t involved.”

“ I’m hoping the group will be more visible. And learn how to work with people outside their comfort zone.“ he explained. “Like right now, we’re trying to figure out a way to work with the basketball team. I reached out to them because I want to help keep Victor, me and other LGBT kids safe.” Victor turned to her, put his arm around her, “Pilar, I know you hated to leave Texas, but both of us can have a fresh start here and it can be a good thing.” 

They began gathering up the trash from lunch. Pilar was worried. She had to stop by Ms Albright’s office, so Victor reassured her. “I met with her this morning, Pilar. She wants to help.” As she got ready to leave them, she stopped on impulse, and hugged Benji...He hugged back. “See you soon, Pilar, OK?” he called. Victor watched her walk away, shaking his head, “ You might end up seducing my whole family…” He laughed. Benji did that thing with his eyes that makes Victor blush.“ Hmmm... Interesting concept...Pilar is a sweetheart, but you’re the only Salazar I want.”


	12. In which Victor Discovers the Powder Room, Sally Anne Falls in Love, and Armando Becomes Philosophical...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benji's anxious to hear what Ms. Albright had to say in her meeting with Victor. His house becomes an island of calm for all of them with a bit of "fizz" from Sally Anne Campbell. Armando is still trying...and failing to make sense of what happened Sunday. ..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my own version of what happens in Season 2 of Love, Victor, based on my version of what happened in Season 1, Crazy For You. I've been trying to make Benji a more fully realized character with a family and interests of his own, and I also wanted to get inside the heads of Victor's parents. So far...no one has been beaten, or injured. There has been no blood spilled. Am I saying it won't happen? No. I just wanted to do an alternative take and I am trying to be as authentic as I can with these particular characters.
> 
> I would love to read a few comments .....

As they got up from the lunch table to walk back into school for their next class, Benji got a text from his mother, “ Do you want grilled salmon for dinner?” Victor smiled, ”Sure” “Great. My mother’s gonna stop at Whole Foods and pick it up. “ Victor thought about it for a minute, “Hey ask if she’s interested in picking up some corn on the cob? I can fix Mexican street corn … if that’s OK? “ Benji’s eyes lit up, and he forwarded the info to Sally Anne. She agreed enthusiastically, and asked that Victor text her the ingredients.

Benji reached for Victor’s hand, taking him aside for a moment of privacy. “How did your meeting go with Ms Albright? Can you talk about it?” Victor nodded talking quietly, ”Yeah… She’s going to meet with my parents. And she said it was a bad idea to stay too long at your house. She wants home base to be the Brooks house for now. Of course there’s nothing wrong with us spending time together, or even spending the night once in a while, but home base needs to be there, because I’m under age. “

“She doesn’t want my parents to create problems for you or your family. She wants them to focus on fixing our family mess. She’s going to recommend counseling for them, and get permission for me to see Mrs. Spier. That’s about it.” Benji got serious, his voice almost a whisper. “ I love having you with me, having you in my bed, having breakfast with you….But if it keeps things calm & steady, then yeah. I get it. Hey. We may not have as much freedom as we want, but we’ll have more than we ever expected, right? We’ll get through it.“

Later, they took the bus down Moreland and jumped off near the Edgewood intersection, walking the rest of the way through the Inman Park neighborhood. They joked about their teachers, and argued about the Avengers, and Victor told stories about life in Texas, and some of his crazy cousins. There was a lightness to their laughter as they climbed the stairs to Benji’s house. He unlocked the door and automatically called out even though the house was empty. 

After dropping their backpacks on the floor in the hallway they walked back to the kitchen. “Uh, I need to use the bathroom?” “Over there in the hall, you just passed it. “ Benji pointed. “My mother won’t get home until about 6:30. Are you hungry? “ He heard the faucet go on as Victor washed his hands, and came out. “Not really. Maybe some fruit? I ate so much at lunch I nearly fell asleep in class. Speaking of which. Man, I got slammed with homework. “ Benji nodded, “Yeah, I did too. I have a test tomorrow. “ 

He looked at Victor a long time, “We should study.” Victor held his stare, and nodded slowly, “Yeah. We should….” Benji smiled, moving closer. Victor backed up. “In a minute…?” “Right. Maybe a few minutes...more or less..” he shrugged.”Probably more…” They maneuvered themselves back into the powder room and... contact...hands, bodies, mouths, tongues. …” Ms. Albright said it’s our hormones…” “She did?... Were you discussing sex with Ms. Abright?” …”She thinks you’re hot”... “Victor, your jeans are hard to unbutton with one hand…” “ I know. That’s why I’m using both hands on yours,” Victor moaned, ”Please... don’t give me a hickey on my neck...it’s not a good time…” 

They put in a solid 90 minutes on homework by the time Benji’s mom arrived. They helped carry the groceries in then sent Sally Anne to relax with a nice glass of Pinot, while they got dinner together. Victor prepared the crema and cotija cheese mixture while the corn and salmon grilled outside.Benji spooned some Tequila Lime salsa into a small serving bowl, then whipped up some guacamole to serve with corn chips, while Victor made a green salad. They finally sat down around 7:30. The dinner conversation was great fun. Victor was charming and Sally Anne was smitten. She hadn’t seen Benji this relaxed and this happy in a very long time, and was almost overwhelmed by the comfort she felt in his laughter. 

When the boys insisted they’d clean up, she was genuinely touched. “OMG, the salmon was cooked to perfection! And Victor, I don’t usually eat two large ears of that corn! So good! I'm stuffed! It is dangerously delicious!! “ Benji blushed, glancing over to see if Victor noticed. He did. She stood up and stretched. “It’s almost 9 already! I’m going to have myself a spa evening, and a nice long phone visit with Daddy, then fall asleep with a good British Detective show. I don’t need to wake up early tomorrow.” She wrapped her arms around Benji, and kissed him on the nose, “I love you so much, Benji Campbell!” Then she turned to hug Victor, a bit teary-eyed, “Victor, you’re so sweet! I love havin’ you here! “ 

While they were cleaning up, Victor asked Benji if he had their new work schedule. Sarah had given them Sunday and Monday off, but Victor had heard nothing about the rest of the week. “Yeah, she texted me, I forgot. She gave us the whole week off, but she wants us to stop by after school, on Wednesday. “ Victor looked worried. “Do you think something’s wrong? “ Benji smiled reassuringly, “Nah, If something was wrong, Sarah would just say it..She has fired people by text. We’re her best workers. Plus she likes us. “ 

They relocated to the third floor to finish their homework, and were in Benji’s bed before 11 :30. Benji, eyes closed, was plugged into an audio book,trying to ignore Victor drawing on his upper thigh with a ballpoint…finally, ”What the hell are you doing, Victor?” “Paying you back for my hickeys.” He’d written “dangerously delicious!” on Benji’s inner upper thigh, then resumed reading beside him.

Tuesday’s school day followed its normal routine. Pilar once again joined Benji and Victor for lunch. They talked about music videos, and TikTok, and argued about Halsey, KPop and Billie Eillish. Benji seemed to have awakened something in Pilar. Instead of mindlessly wandering down the rabbit hole of youtube, she now had a focus. She was in a research & learning mode. As for homelife, apparently Isabel had emerged from the bedroom and was assuming her motherly duties, including picking up Adrian. She told Pilar to walk over to Adrian’s school if she wanted a ride home. Things were still chilly between them, but not nearly as tense as they had been. 

Armando was still living at home. He had asked Pilar if she enjoyed her lunch, and she told him she shared it with Victor. Armando nodded. “Yes. He texted me to thank me and let me know he’s OK. Did he say anything about where he sleeps at night? “ Pilar shook her head. “No, Papi. There were other kids around. I didn’t want to get into it, and we didn’t have a lot of time. But he seems fine.”

“ Papi, Victor loves you, he loves all of us!” Armando grew philosophical. “Pilar, Victor is 16. When I was 16, your Abuelo and I argued all the time. Once I took off with some friends in a car I was gone for three days.I even missed school. I thought he was going to beat me senseless, but he didn’t. I got slammed with a lot of extra chores for a month. “

“It’s his age. Tell him we love him very much, OK? That’s all. I’m glad you’re seeing him and talking to him. Maybe he'll realize his family loves him, and decide to come back home.” Armando was playing a mind game, where “that Gay stuff” never happened. He didn’t mention that he & Isabel had received a request to meet with Ms Albright Wednesday. 

Lake, Felix, Mia, & Benji squeezed into Lake’s mother’s car to drop Victor off at the Spier house. Mia lived practically around the corner and a few blocks away, so she invited Benji to hang with them until it was time to meet Victor. Lake decided they could spend some time making a list of things that were needed to outfit Victor’s Pool House, as she called it. Felix thought they should order pizza...just for a snack...Andrew would be by in a while, he was “hooking things up” with the coach and some of the players. He’d say no more. “You’ll know when we get it together.”


	13. Oxygen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Spiers meets with Victor for the first time, and has a chance to observe Benji and Victor together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victor really didn't realize how complicated things could get when Dr. Spiers and Ms. Albright came into his life. He finds it kind of scary.

Emily Spier and Victor were sitting in the study off the main hallway of a sprawling colonial, not nearly as grand as Mia’s house, but comfortable. “You seem to be doing much better than you were Sunday, Victor. I’m glad. Before we get started I wanted to let you know Ms Albright has a meeting set with your parents for tomorrow morning. One of the outcomes I’m hoping for is their permission for me to meet with you officially as your counselor. We hope they’ll agree to meet with a family counselor too, for their own sake as much as for you and Pilar.” 

“Things can proceed in one of two ways. Because Creekwood High is participating in a special program with Child Protective Services, we have a couple of choices. The school can file a report with them. But that could lead to an investigation of your home situation. There’s a solid case to show you're at risk. That’s one track. If we go that way, it could get messy. Depending on the caseworker, your home environment will be evaluated, and there’s even a remote possibility all three minor children could be removed from the home, & temporarily assigned to foster care with supervised visitation,etc. Ms. Albright & I don’t feel like that’s necessary or even the best way to go in your case.”

“Under the program we’re involved with, your parents would have to agree to counseling, and allow you to get counseling. They’d also have to agree to allow you to domicile separately, with the understanding that you’d be supervised by a legally responsible adult.You’d have regular contact with your parents, and they would be able to fully participate in your school activities. This plan would meet with the state’s approval and it’s usually enough to satisfy their concerns. But it would not be Benji’s family. It would very likely be under Dr. Harold Brook’s supervision. Dr. Brooks and Ms. Albright have spoken, and he has agreed to work with you if your parents agree. He’s been a real leader in helping to set this program up, and he has experience in this area. “

“My point is, the best outcome we can hope for tomorrow is for your parents to agree to counseling for you and for themselves. And that they also agree to you living away from them temporarily, with supervised visitation. They would meet with us regularly so we can evaluate the situation, they’d attend your school activities, PTA meetings, basketball games,etc. The difference is that you would no longer be living in a toxic environment with lots of stress, and you'll be getting some help and some support. “

“ If you have questions about that, or you’re worried about it, let’s talk about it. If you think of something later, please call me. All of this is for your safety and for your welfare, Victor. No one is being punished. Your parents may even welcome this while they try to sort out their own difficulties.They would know you’re safe, you’d have supervision, you’re in school, and they’ll be able to see you and still be part of your life.”

Victor was ghostly pale. He was deeply shaken by the direction this was going. It all sounded too complicated to him. “Mrs. Spier, this all seems really harsh. I mean. I feel terrible. I feel like I started something and it’s all going out of control. All this talk about investigations and going to court, and removing the kids. I can’t even... I didn’t mean for all this to happen. No way. I’m not comfortable with this…” Emily nodded her head, “ It seems like a lot. But let's review what’s actually happened so far. OK? You came out as Gay on Sunday. Your parents were hostile to your announcement, and Victor, you left there because you admitted you need help dealing with it, and there is no help in that house.” 

He nodded in agreement. “Your friends rallied around you, and I count myself as one of them. We’re doing everything we can to support you as you work through this. But the “complication” as you called it, is that you’re a minor child. Victor, no matter how emotionally mature you are, you're 16. We have to act in any case we believe a student is at risk. I know it all sounds very intimidating, but I want you to know, we’ll do everything possible to keep you safe, work with your parents to repair this if it can be repaired, and to keep the living arrangements your friends have already helped set up for you.”

“ I seriously doubt your parents will want to get involved with Protective Services. If they do they’re a rarity. We’ll do everything we can to avoid that outcome, OK? But the environment you were living in was toxic. Just because you were coping with it doesn’t mean it didn’t affect you. If it had not, you would never have taken the action you took. “

“In your own words, you said you needed help. When the circuits are overloaded, something will eventually blow out. You acted responsibly, before something really terrible could happen. I feel very strongly about this. You know, there is more than one kind of abuse, it isn’t always physical. And sometimes love can be toxic, too. ” 

This was the hard part. It was this that had pushed Victor to the edges of despair. He struggled to get his head around the fact that his own parents could harm him, even though he knew Dr. Spier was right. He said those same words to them. He explained to them how he hid in plain sight, pretending to ignore or laugh at the mockery, and the ridicule, and the meanness. He hid because he was terrified of being caught out. Back in Texas, even thinking about the “What if…” made him physically sick so many times he stopped counting.The social pressure to fit in once he hit middle school became agony.

But these were his parents. And he had grown familiar with their habits of condemnation and casual cruelty. He could never stop feeling love for them. His memories would always include all the love they had shown him the past 16 years, and it was this that tore him apart. Was that how love worked? That we picked out parts of one another that we can love, and discard what we cannot love? 

They talked for a little while. She wanted to know all about Benji, and Victor’s eyes finally lit up at the sound of his name. He told her about the sweet, patient, kind hearted young man who loved music and was a gifted artist, and how Benji had helped him calm Pilar and make her feel valued. “He sounds like a beautiful young man,Victor. I felt that when I met him. He has a good heart. And he cares for you very much. Ms Albright seems very fond of him. I’m going to check on dinner and maybe you can text him and see if he wants to join us now? Then come find me and we’ll go outside in back, OK?” 

When Benji arrived, Emily greeted him warmly, and suggested he join Victor out on the patio, while she finished preparing dinner. “I think Victor is feeling pretty low, Benji. I wanted to be open with him about the next steps, and I’m afraid he is feeling overwhelmed. I think he's been able to sort of avoid thinking about the pain of his family situation too much since Sunday morning, because all his friends, most especially you have been there for him. Ms Albright will meet with his parents tomorrow, so I hope we can start a process that will help with the healing.” 

Benji listened intently, then asked, “Can you be more specific, Mrs. Spier? I know you want to help Victor. We all do, but what specifically triggered this?” He leaned on the kitchen counter, waiting for her to elaborate, “Well, Victor’s a minor. So there are legal implications, and I told Victor that we wanted to continue with the informal arrangements we have now, with a little more structure so that if necessary, we can file a plan with Protective Services and they will accept it. “

“But his parents have to agree.We’d need their permission for Victor to get counseling and to participate in this program. What upset him was the possibility that if his parents refuse to cooperate, we may have to move forward with a formal report with protective services. No one wants it to go that far. Ms. Albright will talk to the Salazars tomorrow and hopefully we can avoid it. We ‘ve dealt with several extreme crises that were far worse than Victor’s, where there were issues like drug addiction, criminal activity, physical abuse, and kids literally raising themselves because their parents were MIA. In Victor’s case we’re dealing with his psychological welfare, that’s our main focus, it’s our priority, and secondly, trying to repair the relationship between him and his parents, so I’m hopeful.”

Benji nodded, “I’ve met Victor’s family. They’re very close, and it’s a solid home. But they’re really conservative, and yeah, he talked about them having marriage problems. But I got the impression that whatever is going on between his parents they are both dedicated to their kids.You know, I went through a really bad time, too. I couldn’t have gotten through it without both of my parents, especially my mother. It's only this past year I’ve been feeling almost normal.”

“When I first realized I was Gay, my first reaction was to be in denial. I had a lot of problems, and I went wild for a while. I drank a lot and I was pretty promiscuous, both girls & boys. One night, I was so high I couldn’t see straight, but I decided to drive to Wendy’s. I ended up plowing through their front entrance. It collapsed.” Benji shuddered at the mere memory. ” I could have been killed. When I woke up I was in a hospital bed, my mother and father sitting there, just...falling apart, I was. ...I can’t even describe it. I came out to my parents, and we went to family counseling. It really saved us.”

“My mother is more open and emotional than my father, in general, but my being Gay isn’t the big issue there. My father is “preoccupied,” trying to launch a business, and he works at Emory. He’s in Bio Tech. Just a lot going on “ Benji smiled. Emily listened intently. “I was in a very unhealthy relationship when Victor came into my life, and between my mother’s support, and just being around Victor, I finally found the strength to end it. I really trust him. He’s a good person, and he cares about people. I feel like my best self when I’m with him. I'd do anything for him. He means the world to me.” Benji’s eyes welled up when he said this last part. Emily walked over and hugged him,”Sweetie, I’m so glad you found one another…” 

Jack Spier got home from work around 6 and joined Victor and Benji out on the patio. He enlivened the conversation and had the boys laughing. It seemed to draw Victor out. At dinner the talk was of music and art and future plans. They decided to Facetime with Simon, who agreed with Pilar’s assessment....Benji was hot. Throughout the evening, Emily was watchful. She noticed how relieved Benji was as Victor grew more relaxed. She smiled as she observed, “They’re like oxygen for one another….and no one can do without oxygen. ”


	14. In which   Ms. Albright Channels Angela Bassett and Becomes Fierce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ms. Albright meets with Isabel and Armando to discuss Victor's situation, and unloads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we get a good glimpse of the level of immaturity and defensiveness of Isabel and Armando. Again, this is my version of Season 2. I have no horses in this race, I know nothing about the producers' plans for Victor and his family. And, yes, I gave Benji a family. 
> 
> One thing I want to say: Every restaurant and neighborhood I mention is real....except for Brasstown Cafe, and Creekwood. I've place Creekwood in the north Buckhead area, and sort of made it adjacent to Historic Brookhaven and Brookhaven. In fact, in my story Creekwood is remarkably similar to Historic Brookhaven and Brookhaven.

Ms Albright came out to greet Isabel and Armando when they arrived at 9:30, and ushered them into her office. “Hey, Mr & Mrs Salazar, thank you so much for coming in. I know you’re both busy, but we have a situation here and we need to talk to you to see how we can help…” “What has she done now,” Isabel interrupted. “I’m sorry?” Isabel looked weary, as if all the energy had been drained from her. ”It’s Pilar isn’t it? She’s impossible to deal with! I’m assuming you want to talk about Pilar.” Ms. Albright was silent. She looked down at her notepad for a moment to collect her thoughts. “No, actually. The main reason I wanted to meet with you is to talk about Victor.” His parents looked at one another, completely confused. “Is he in trouble?” 

Ms Albright shook her head. “Well, it’s come to our attention that Victor left home a few days ago, and it’s our policy when there are problems in the home that affect our students, to meet with the parents and try to see how we can help.” Armando shook his head, “Look. When I was 16, I had problems with my parents too. It happens. They think they’re grown. ..He’ll be…” 

Isabel looked incredulously at Armando, “You keep saying that. You keep saying this is just an argument, but it isn’t…my son, who has never given us a day's worry, said some terrible things to us on Sunday morning, very hurtful things, and then he turned his back on his family and just walked out. That’s basically what happened. I was shocked by his behavior. This is something new with him, and he can’t just expect to waltz back into our house unless he apologizes, and faces the music. ” 

Armando was looking at the pattern in the carpet, while storm clouds formed in Isabel’s eyes. Ms. Albright had seen this fact twisting and denial before. “ I don’t think either one of you appreciates the serious situation your son is in! Victor has come out. He is Gay. When I spoke with him, he said he needed help, and there was none for him at home. He was desperate, Mrs. Salazar. Now I understand from Victor that the two of you have been preoccupied with your own problems. You’re having marriage difficulties and you’re separating. So you’re all dealing with a lot right now, but we take Victor’s cry for help very seriously. Honestly, this also helps me understand Pilar’s behavior a lot better.”

“Let me share something.” Ms. Albright paused dramatically and leaned in, “Last year I went to two funerals. A 15 yr old and a 16 yr old; both from this school. Both Gay. Both bullied and humiliated daily by their classmates, as well as their families. Both thrown out of the house, and forced to choose whether to go back and live in an abusive environment or just end the pain by ending their own lives.”

“ One young man used his father’s hand gun, just shoved it in his mouth. The other one made the newspapers.. He put a clown hat on, then hung himself in the garage. I don’t like going to funerals for kids. Last week I spent the night in the ER at Grady with another attempted suicide. She slit her wrists. When they examined her, her body was full of scars from the cutting she had done to herself! “

“There’s a suicide epidemic among high school and even middle school kids, and many of them, not all, but many are because they have no family support and no safe place as Gay teenagers. Sometimes they're just different. And because they’re different, they get bullied. Oh, yeah,” She shook her head. “We have all these programs and ad campaigns about bullying, but the truth is, most bullying begins at home.” 

“The Gay students see only intolerance and ridicule. Every single day, before they open their eyes in the morning, they have to worry about the horrific things that may happen to them, and they spend their waking moments walking a gauntlet. But all of them keep trying to function in those abusive environments, and they keep trying to ride it out, and cope with it until they eventually run out of the energy to do that, and they break. So we take it very seriously when one of our students feels like they're drowning and there’s no lifeline.” Ms Albright was visibly upset. 

Armando became agitated. He said, with great conviction, pointing his finger at her, “You know, I find this very offensive. I feel insulted. Yes, we’re dealing with marriage problems, but we’re good parents and we love our kids. They don’t live in a bad environment. We have worked hard to give them a good life. They have a nice home, they are fed and educated and they are loved.”

“ I’m very sorry for your experience. What you’re describing to us is tragic. It’s a terrible thing, but that is not what is going on in my house. Now I admit, I have a big problem with my own flesh and blood telling me they believe they’re Gay. I don’t judge other people, but I just can’t get my head around something like that from a member of my own family. ” 

Ms. Albright nodded her head, “You know, we expect so much from our kids. Practically every single day, they see us say and do things that they don’t understand, sometimes ugly things. Mean things. We lie to them. We make mistakes. We disappoint them. We fail them. Life is unfair. They don’t like it. But we expect them to accept us. We expect them to understand. To put up with it. And they do. Children are so very forgiving. They are so accepting. They could teach us a lot about unconditional love. Because sometimes we use Love as a bargaining chip.” 

“ Mr. Salazar, you have two very sweet, very smart children. I know that you have worked hard to be good parents. It shows. I’m sure you have provided them with all the necessities. But this is not about you, or whether I’ve offended you. I don’t need you to catalogue all your good work. This is not about how hard you work, or how hurt your feelings are….Or whether or not you can get you head around a family member, your son, being Gay. This is about Victor. It’s about his survival. Did you or did you not tell him that you “had no Gay sons?” Did you or did you not tell him to take that “Gay shit” out of your house?” 

“You told him Gays were perverts and child molesters, then you reprimanded him, because he chose to be honest with you, to reach out to you, as your son. You became angry and said, “ Why did you even tell us!” Are you even aware of the fact that your son has considered suicide as a possibility? He confided in friends who became very concerned. He said, “I can’t do this too much longer. I can’t see my way clear. I can’t live like this. Sometimes I’d just like to take myself out of this, erase myself.” 

Isabel's hand clutched her throat. Her eyes filled with tears. “That can’t be...That can’t be.This is Felix. He must have misunderstood. He is always so melodramatic.” Ms Albright shook her head. “No, this was not Felix. But it doesn’t really matter. I’m not going there. You see, I went directly to Victor and asked him, and he admitted that, yes, he felt just that desperate. Because he is a minor under our state laws, and because he fits the profile of an at risk child, we don’t have a choice. We have to intervene. Please, excuse me. “ She stood up abruptly, overcome with emotion, and left the room for a few moments, leaving them alone.


	15. Getting to Yes.....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Spiers lends a hand in an important meeting with Isabel, Armando, and Ms. Albright. Victor's future will depend on whether or not his parents are willing to cooperate in getting him the support he needs....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to try to get inside the heads of Victor's parents so we could try to understand what they're thinking and how they feel. They're feelings are all over the place, and seem to be in conflict even inside their own heads.....it's a lot....
> 
> While we knew what Dr. Spier and MS. Albright's goals were, I thought it was important for Isabel and Armando to not feel as if they were ganging up on them. Instead, they were guiding them to a rational decision. All four of them care about Victor.

15\. Getting To Yes…..

Armando walked over to the window, his hands trembling. Isabel was rocking back and forth, stifling sobs with a wad of tissues she’d taken from her purse. He went back over to Isabel and put his arm around her. She rested her head against him, then she looked up,”How did this happen, Armando? How did things become such a mess for us? I blame myself. I feel like our lives are falling apart, and I started it. I brought bad luck down on all of us….” He had no words of comfort to offer her.

Emily Spier walked into the outer office, took one look at Ms Albright, and asked, “ Do you want me to join you? Do you think it’ll help?” She blew her nose, “It can’t hurt. They’re upset, and very defensive.” Emily nodded, “Let’s see what we can do.” Ms. Albright knocked once then walked back in. “Mr. Salazar, Mrs Salazar, I want to introduce you to Dr. Emily Spier. Dr. Spier is a child psychologist, who sometimes works with Creekwood students.”

Armando offered his hand, and Isabel, still feeling rather numb, just nodded. Emily took a seat beside Isabel, turning her chair so she could address both Salazars as well as Ms. Albright. “I’m so sorry you’re having such a rough time, “ Emily began. “ I’ve reviewed some of the notes from Ms. Albright’s discussion with Victor, and so I have a general idea of what we’re looking at here.”

“ I want to begin by saying that with your permission, I’d like to work with Victor in a professional counseling environment. I think the fact that he reached out for help instead of keeping his problems to himself until something terrible happened is a very good sign. “ Isabel looked hopeful. “I think I would be in favor of that, Dr. Spier. I even suggested to Victor that he should have counseling, Sunday, when he.. We…” 

Emily intercepted her. “Yes. And that was a very good suggestion, Mrs. Salazar. Mr. Salazar? Are you OK with that? “ Armando sighed, feeling the weight of the world on him, “Yes, sure. If it helps. I Iove my son, Doctor, let there be no doubt of that.” Emily nodded agreeably “I know you do, and I want to help you and especially Victor if I can, to get things back on track.” 

“But there is another part to this. According to the state Child Protective Services guidelines, the procedure with an at risk teenager, is to file a formal report with them, and with all that’s going on in your life right now, they would probably want to evaluate your home environment. I believe that we can forestall any kind of formal evaluation of your home environment if we simply arrange for Victor to be domiciled outside your home.” 

Armando eyed her suspiciously. “What are you trying to say? You know, I’m not ignorant, Dr. Spier. I’m an educated man.” He looked at Ms Albright, daggers shooting from his eyes. “Are you telling us that Creekwood is going to report us to Protective Services? Is that the bottom line here? That they’ll evaluate our home? On what basis? Because that seems like a pretty extreme thing to do. I feel like it’s a violation of our privacy...“ Ms. Albright nodded her head. “Yes, Mr. Salazar. That’s normally what happens. That’s how it works.There are new guidelines now. They were put in place to see if we can try to intervene to prevent teen suicides and be more supportive to at risk kids. Unfortunately Victor is at risk.” 

Emily spoke up then, to suggest to Armando basically the same plan she outlined to Victor the day before. “Mr. Salazar, we may be able to side step some of that, if we can make arrangements with you and Mrs. Salazar, and Victor to board him outside your home, informally. We could postpone or even defer filing a report for the time being, then look at it again in 6 months and see how it’s going.” 

“If you agree to participate in a special program, and we can make an informal arrangement, it would give you, instead of the state, a little more control. You’d be able to fully participate, as his parents, in school conferences, school activities, and meet with his teachers,etc. In fact it would give you both some space to work on your own issues and eliminate some of the stress, and tension and toxicity you are all dealing with now. It would be kind of a time out. The one stipulation is that, at least at first, we’d want to look at supervised visits.”

Armando let it all sink in. “Are you suggesting to me that my son would be going to foster care?” Ms Albright answered, “Emphatically no. No way. In fact we want to avoid that scene altogether if we can. If you agree to counseling, not just for Victor, but family counseling for yourselves and Pilar, and if we can assign Victor to a separate domicile with your consent, we might be able to avoid Protective Services minefield altogether. Victor would be in a safe, healthy environment, and he would be supervised. He would be expected to go to classes, do his homework, continue in his job, basketball, see his friends, have a curfew, etc. And maintain regular contact with you.”

“In fact, if you are willing to consider this, I’ll set up a meeting with Dr. Harold Brooks, so he can talk with you and guide you through it. Dr. Brooks has had a lot of experience with at risk kids. I spoke to him this morning and he is on board. He wants to help. Mr and Mrs. Salazar, we want to help Victor and you, his family. We do not want to throw him into the system. I think if we work together this is the best way to go.” Isabel was silent. Armando grew thoughtful. ”Can you excuse us ? We need a few minutes. This is a lot to take in, after all. “ Emily smiled sympathetically, “ Of course. We’ll be in the outer reception area, when you're ready.”

As Isabel thought about the proposal, she seemed to grow calmer. “ Armando? Do you remember when Nestor and Amelia had trouble with Johnny? He went to live with some friends near Fort Worth?” Armando nodded.”Yes, but that was a different situation. There was a drug problem and probation involved.” “I remember, Armando. But I don’t want to get involved with any Child Protective Services mess. And I really don’t want you to leave. I think counseling is a good thing. I know you were never a fan of counseling, but we need to try it. Please?” she pleaded.

“ Let’s talk to this Dr. Brooks. When I think that we could’ve lost our son forever, Armando, I couldn’t survive if something happened to any of my kids. If they can convince me Victor is safe and he is doing well, and we can see him and be part of his life, maybe it’s worth it. All I know right now is that Victor has a whole life, friends, school, and they all knew more about him than we did...and he trusts them more than he trusts us.” 

“The last thing I want is for them to file some report with Protective Services. They come poking around in our lives and the next thing we know they’ll want to evaluate our home. That includes Pilar and Adrian. No. All of the people we both know who had to deal with protective services, it always turned into a mess. I think Ms Albright and Dr. Spier have a good plan. I think we should talk to this Dr. Brooks.” 

Armando sighed. “So how do we handle this Gay thing? His grandparents, all our family and friends. They will never accept it. I’m having a rough enough time thinking about it. It’s embarrassing. I can’t even talk about it with my brothers. I blame myself. I feel like I failed him. But I don’t know what I could have done. And Victor wasn’t just talking. I’ve been doing some reading. A lot of people believe being Gay is not a choice.” 

“I know with the management company where I work, we have Gays on the staff, our leasing agents, a lot of Gay tenants. They seem pretty normal. Accountants, engineers, teachers. An architect. You can’t even tell with some of them. I haven’t seen any pink silk shirts or 6 inch heels,” He ruefully observed, ” I don’t mind them at all. But, of course, they are not my son. ...I just don’t know. We moved here to make a fresh start. But I may never be ready for Victor being Gay. I love my son. I just have to figure this out. I’m not going to walk away from him. Isabel? You’re quiet.” 

She took his hand. “I don’t know if I can do this, Armando. I’m not ready to give up on my son, but I can’t help feeling like it’s a sin. Being Gay is just...not natural. I go back and forth. And then I think of how vicious people can be. I think that hurt me more than anything else. When Victor said that. That we would be on the side of the people who want to hurt him, Iike spectators. When he asked me “who’s my rock, Mami?” It ripped my heart out. I want my son back. I know. He’s almost grown, and eventually he’s going to leave home and start his own life. But not yet. I wish I could erase all the days that came after Saturday night.” 

“ I’m glad we can get some counseling. I just need to find the path back to my sense of who he really is. Ms. Albright said something I took some hope from. She said our children are so forgiving. Maybe there’s a lesson in this. Maybe I need to be forgiving too. I just don’t know. I may never get over him being Gay, but there is no way I will be a spectator and let anyone hurt him. You know what, Armando?”, Isabel grasped his hands, “you haven’t failed Victor. You’re a good father. You’re a good man! Don’t worry about the so-called friends and family. 

"Let Texas stay in Texas. I’m not going to worry about people I’ll only see twice a year. There’s a whole new crop of cousins I wouldn't even recognize on the street. We have no reason to tell them anything. It's not like they share anything with us. As time passes, people get involved in their own lives. We didn’t even see one another that much anymore. When we did, they weren't sharing a lot about what’s going on with their families. I’m tired of buying Christmas gift cards for people I hardly know or trying to remember kids’ names at some 4th of July picnic. All those people have their own friends, their own interests. We need to rebuild our lives too ” 

There was a soft knock on the office door. “Are we all set?” Armando nodded his head. “Yes, Dr. Spier. We talked it over, and I guess we’ll try it your way. We think this is a good plan... for now. Let’s see how it goes in a few months. But I’m willing to accept the counseling, and I want to meet this Dr. Brooks and see what he’s about. And we can go forward from there. I have known too many families in Texas who got into terrible situations with Protective Services. Sometimes, they only made things worse. If we can avoid that, I think we can make this work. “ 

Emily smiled at them, “ Mr. Salazar, Mrs. Salazar, I think you’re making a good decision. Ms. Albright and I are here for you, and if you’ll allow me, I’ll get the paperwork started to set up Victor’s counseling agreement, and get you a referral.” “You mean you won’t be meeting with us?” Isabel asked. Emily took Isabel’s hand in both of hers. “Mrs. Salazar, I’m a child psychologist. You will do much better with a family counseling specialist and I know a couple of very good ones”. 

“I’ll give you their names and you can interview them and decide if they’re a good fit, OK? I will work with you to find what you’re comfortable with, and I’ll set up a time for you to meet with Dr. Brooks. I’ll notify him and his secretary can schedule an appointment time that works for both of you. Oh, and Ms Albright just asked Victor if he’d come down to the office, if that’s OK. So you can catch up, and talk about the arrangements we’ve made. I think he’d like that.” 

Before Armando signed the documents he had one more concern, “What’s this going to cost us? Victor living separately, the counseling, I have to see if any of this might be covered…” Ms. Albright smiled,  
“ Well that’s the beauty of this program, Mr. Salazar. The cost of counseling for Victor and for yourselves is covered through our grant, and there is a housing allowance for Victor. He will also be getting a small personal allowance every week to cover such things as transportation, personal items, and lunches or whatever.” 

Ms. Albright corralled Victor in the reception area, and told him she was going to introduce him to Emilly Spier who had just been meeting with his parents. Victor looked confused at first, then he got it. Emily opened the office door and stood with Armando and Isabel. “Hi, Victor, I’m Emily Spier, and I’ve been talking to your mom and dad about getting you into a good counseling program. I’ll let them tell you all about it, OK?”

Victor smiled broadly, shaking her hand. He looked past her at his parents, and rushed into the office into his mother’s arms. “Hey, Mami! You doing OK?” It was a tearful reunion all around. He looked into his father’s eyes, and Armando came over and hugged and kissed him. “You look good, Victor. How are you doing? “ “I’m good, Papi. You're gonna make me fat, and they'll throw me off the basketball team if I gain too much weight.” He gave Armando’s shoulders a comforting squeeze, his arm remained there. 

Isabel looked confused. “What’s he talking about? “ Armando gave Victor a conspiratorial wink and explained, “Pilar has been bringing Victor these huge lunches…” Isabel smiled, “Oh.Pilar is doing that? OK.” After her initial joy at seeing her son, Isabel seemed to withdraw and become distant with him. She stiffened when he hugged her too long. Like Pilar, she wasn’t good at pretending. His words had wounded her deeply, hitting too close to home. She felt a shame she was reluctant to acknowledge.

Victor looked at them expectantly. “So what is going on with this counseling stuff?” Armando explained. “We had a good meeting with Ms Albright and Dr. Spier, and your mother and I decided to accept a plan they offered to have you work with Dr. Spier and get some counseling, and we’re also going to get some counseling. Including Pilar. I think it will help us all. Your mother and I have been talking and I’ve decided, at her request, not to move. I’m cancelling that lease. I’ll be staying home….and it looks like you will be the guy living someplace else for the time being. “ Victor nodded,walking over to sit on the edge of Ms. Albright’s desk.

Armando paused for a moment. “Victor, this Gay stuff was a big shock to us. OK? I won’t lie. It seemed to come out of nowhere. I’m not ready for it. What you said to us is very upsetting. But never believe for one minute that we are on the side of anyone who would try to hurt you. We love you. We just can’t deal with this. We’ll try to understand, but it’s a lot. I just don’t know how far I can go. OK? I’ll try. That is all I can promise. You’re doing something I don’t believe is right, it goes against everything I was raised to believe. I don’t understand how this could happen to my own son, and I never even saw it. “

Victor put his arm around Armando’s shoulder again, to reassure him. “Papi, love was never our problem. I love you both very much. I’m glad all of us are going to get some counseling. It will help.” Armando went on, “ I guess all of us being home together right now might not be a good thing. I certainly don’t want to say more things that will upset you, or hurt you. And you know, you can say some upsetting things, too. We all need some time.” 

Victor nodded in agreement. “You’re right, I need to be where I have support,... I can’t…” Armando patted him on the back. It was awkward. Victor was glad they were in the school offices. It provided some restraints to a possibly tense situation. Some part of Victor realized that his parents saw no contradictions in their assurances of love, and their rejection of a Gay son. It was a toxic combination. 

“Your mother and I want to rebuild our marriage and our family. We owe that to all three of you. “ Just then Emily came in with some forms for them to sign, and Ms. Albright came in to reclaim her office, “Victor, did you turn your History research paper into Mr. Wicker?” Armando smiled. “ I’m impressed. You really manage to stay on top of what’s going on with all your students!” Ms. Albright smiled back, “Just my favorites, Mr. Salazar!” She shot Victor a threatening look, “Don’t you dare repeat that.” 

Victor hugged his parents and made his excuses. Isabel still avoided eye contact with him as much as possible, but Armando hugged Victor warmly. It was the same kind of hug he gave his cousin Angel that time he & Victor’s abuelo drove all the way to the Hutchins Correctional facility to see him. “I love you man, but you really messed up.” Victor’s stature was diminished in Armando’s eyes. As Emily and Ms. Albright observed them, both women realized that the Salazar parents had a long road ahead of them, and getting Victor into a less stressful, more supportive environment was absolutely the right thing to do.


	16. Settling  in.....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amazing really, how quickly Victor becomes comfortable at the Campbells. It's a oasis of calm and acceptance...and love in what is probably the most chaotic week of Victor's young life....

Wednesday afternoon, Sarah met with Benji and Victor. “I hate to lose you two, but I need to send you over to our new place at Krog Street Market for a few weeks. It’s a popular location, and until they can get their staff up to speed it’ll be chaotic. I think you’ll enjoy it. It’s a fun place. Very busy. And the manager is a pretty nice guy. Is it a problem? ” Victor wasn’t familiar, but Benji assured him Krog Street Market was closer to both of them, than the Brasstown location they were currently assigned to.

”Yeah, but if I’m living at Mia’s it’ll be further away.” Victor pointed out. Benji frowned. “Shit. I forgot. Well. Maybe you’ll have to spend the night at my house...just for the sake of convenience….” Victor smiled. “Yeah, That makes sense. We might be able to work something out…” Sarah thought about it. “Look. Weekends are busy at Krog Street. During the week, mornings are busy, but evenings during the week may not be necessary. It’s pretty slow. It might mean you’ll work fewer hours, though. “ Victor nodded,   
“We’ll figure it out. Thanks, Sarah.” 

Sally Anne’s pot-luck book club was meeting in the living room when they got home. They said hello, then went back to the kitchen to eat. “While you were meeting with Dr. Spier, Lake and Mia were making lists of things you’ll need in your apartment,” Benji laughed. “Get ready, because you’re their “project” right now.” Victor smiled broadly. “I’ll gladly be their project if it means I won’t have to buy anything!” Benji thought about it. “ You know, let me check with my mother and see if we have anything to contribute. We always end up hauling stuff to Goodwill every Fall.” 

“I think you’ll need to buy toiletries and cleaning products, groceries too, but we ought to be able to get you set up with most of the other stuff. There’s really not a lot of kitchen space. That fridge is a decent size for you. There’s room for a small dresser in the bedroom. Maybe even a cupboard. “ Victor nodded,  
“ Yeah. Maybe we can hit Target over the weekend? I need to check with Mia to see about moving in, and find out when my father is meeting with her father. “

“From what Ms Albright said, Dr. Brooks will be responsible for me, and for making sure to keep my parents up to date on everything. I’m sort of glad for the buffer. I really don’t want to add to any tension between me and my parents. There was already too much tension in that house. If there’s any hope of working things out with them, it’ll be a lot easier if there are no ugly scenes.” 

Benji squeezed his hand across the kitchen counter. “C’mon, let’s knock out our homework. I have plans for you tonight!” He gave Victor a secretive smile. Victor’s mind immediately turned to sex. It showed in the smirk on his face. Benji shook his head. “That too, but first I have other plans…” .

When Sally Anne put her head in the kitchen it was a little past 7:30,”Hey there! Book club is a wrap and I’m gonna run across the street to Allison’s for a bit. Did you get something to eat?” Benji and Victor smiled, “We’re good, Mama. We ate whatever was left over.” Sally Anne, nodded, “Good! That’s why I saved it for you! Victor did you get enough to eat, baby?” ”Yes, thank you, Mrs. Campbell! I’m stuffed. It was more than enough.” “ Oh, Benji? A big package was delivered for you this afternoon.” Benji’s eyes lit up. “Thanks, Mama! “ “She smiled.”I think you’ve been waiting for this one. It’s from Novation.” 

“Well, OK then. I’ll be home by 11. Maybe all the dirty dishes will disappear and the kitchen will be clean when I come home?” Benji smiled. “That’s a pretty safe prediction, Mama. No problem.” She smiled, “You’re an angel! Daddy will be gettin’ in late. I hope it’s before midnight! Listen. Try to get to sleep at a decent hour. What time is school tomorrow? “ Benji, looked at Victor, “I think if we leave around 8:20 we’ll be fine.“ Sally Anne smiled, “Good. Well, FYI, I’m sleepin’ late tomorrow.” She gave them a flirty wink and rushed out to catch up with her friends. 

They loaded the dishwasher, then finished cleaning up. Victor was curious. “ What’s Novation?” “Help me get it upstairs and I’ll show you!” Benji was obviously excited. He ordered a Mini Synthesizer weeks ago, and he couldn’t wait to start using it. “Tonight is music night.” He announced as he finally slid the box into his room. “I want to see what you can do.” He handed Victor one of the acoustic guitars. “While you mess around with this, I’ll skim these manuals and set this thing up.” 

It was after 11 when they finally called it a night. Both of them had some studying to do, Benji for Lit class and Victor had to finish a chapter for American History. They read themselves to sleep, each in their own bed, feeling mature and sensible. That lasted until about 3 AM, when Benji came out of the bathroom and found Victor in his bed, laying on his belly, fake-sleeping. 

“I was cold.”...”No you weren’t...you took off your t-shirt.” “ Benji pulled off his own shirt then climbed half on top, burying his face in Victor’s neck, planting a trail of wet kisses and gentle bites along his shoulder… “Fine...I wasn’t…. I just need to feel you against me...” Victor, who had also shed his shorts, pushed his hips up and Benji shifted his weight, responding, the bulge of his hard-on rubbing against Victor’s ass. “Yes, please...,” Victor whispered. Benji nipped Victor’s ear, “ Not yet,” he sighed,“but soon, babe...When things settled down.” He raised up on one arm allowing Victor to turn over so they were facing one another. “Better?” One hand sliding down to stroke Victor’s sex...”Almost,... “ Victor whispered, pushing down the waistband of Benji’s briefs. “Get rid of these…”


	17. Higher Learning....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armando flies solo for his critical meeting with Dr. Brooks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gradually, reluctantly, anxiously,....Armando sits down for a very candid conversation with Dr. Harold Brooks.

Higher Learning...

Isabel took Adrian to an appointment she’d made weeks ago with a new pediatrician, so Armando sat alone in the reception area of Dr. Brook’s office, at Oglethorpe College, waiting for him to return from his class. The African American man who came in looked like a football player. “Hey, man! I’m Harold Brooks! You're Victor’s dad?” He offered his hand, and Armando shook it, smiling self consciously, “Yes, Armando Salazar.” Dr. Brooks ushered Armando into his office and invited him to have a seat opposite Harold at a desk cluttered with papers and small picture frames. 

Brooks leaned forward looking intently at Armando, “How’s it going? I gather you’ve hit a rough patch. “ There was a deep sigh from Armando. He seemed weary. His laugh was dry, “Man, some days I feel like I’m hanging on by my fingernails.” Harold nodded sympathetically. “I’ve been there, I know. You want to talk about it, I’ve got some time…” 

Armando just shook his head, “Hell, I don’t even know where to start. My wife, Isabel and I have been having problems off and on for a couple of years and things finally came to a head about a year ago. We sort of hit bottom. When I found this job opportunity, it meant leaving Texas. She was all in favor of it, so here we are in Atlanta, hoping to make a fresh start. “ 

Harold nodded, “You have Victor and a daughter?” “ Two other kids. Pilar is 14, our youngest is a boy, Adrian, he’s 7. Look. We’re in a strange city, no family or friends, new job, new school, marriage problems, and now my son is suddenly all caught up in this Gay stuff, and they tell me he is at risk. I just don’t see it. Man, I’m trying to hold everything together, but I feel like I jumped out of a plane and my parachute didn’t open.” 

Harold sat back, nodding, and they both grew thoughtful. “ Can I call you Armando? You have a lot on your plate. Having a wife and three kids, starting a brand new job, and trying to navigate in a brand new city? That by itself is more than enough to stress anybody out. Look. I think if we look at the totality of what we’re dealing with, you’re right, it can overwhelm us. But if we break off a piece at a time and try to work with it, maybe we can rebuild the broken parts.” Armando nodded. “That sounds very reasonable. But it’s hard to focus in that way when you’re being pulled in a million different directions.”

“ Oh, you’re right! But I guess what I hope you’ll come to realize is that you don’t have to carry this alone. We are here for you and your family, and particularly for Victor. Maybe we can help take some of that weight. That’s why we’re glad you decided to participate in this family counseling situation. There is no shame in accepting help, Armando. Sometimes our pride causes us to dig in, and we get in our own way. I can be a pretty stubborn guy, so I’ve had to learn to ask for help, myself. It’s not easy. “

“We set up this program, Dr. Spier, and Ms Albright from Creekwood, and a group of other educators, because we’re all concerned with teen suicides. I’ve had to deal with the issue here, and they were dealing with it at the high school level in numbers that were completely unacceptable. “

“So, we got together and designed a program that attempted to put various factors together and design a profile of potentially at risk students. We believe with early intervention, working with the whole family, we can give the families and the kids the kind of support and the tools they need to help them cope with a crisis. My role in all this will be to mentor Victor.“

“If we can show that this works, and saves lives, we can get funding to expand the program. So far, we’ve made some good progress, had some good results. But we need more time to measure the effectiveness. .Another important feature is that while we cooperate with Protective Services, we are not part of their operation. We are independent. ”

“ Honestly? Sometimes they’re very necessary, so I don’t want to disparage them, but sometimes they can create more problems than they solve…and make a mess, with the best of intentions. A lot of it is due to case workers having way too many clients to give anyone proper attention. We’d prefer to avoid it when and if we can. We can be more flexible. Every kid, every family is unique. We think it’s important to see that and make it part of dealing with those at risk. ”

Armando grew agitated, “But see, that’s the thing. These risk factors. We never saw any of this coming. We had no idea our son was having any problems. Never! Honestly? This is all very hard to believe. My wife, Isabel, always calls him her rock, because he’s so steady. My younger kids are crazy about their big brother. Victor is smart, well behaved, he’s a very loving kid. Very responsible. He doesn’t even drink! ”

“ We just got here, and he’s already on the basketball team, he has a job. He was developing a nice circle of new friends. He gets along with his teachers. He seemed happy! How he ever came up with this idea that he’s Gay just baffles me…then Ms. Albright tells me he wanted to “erase himself.” Man, I felt physically sick when she said that. I cannot bear the idea of losing my son. Whatever it takes to help him, I want to do it. We love Victor. I just don’t see how he ever came to the conclusion he’s Gay.” 

“Armando, believe me. Too many parents of dead sons and daughters said the same thing. There was no sign their kids were in trouble. Their parents had no idea! And every single kid I’ve spoken to in this particular situation, none of them decided to be Gay. No kid wants that. It isn’t something they choose to do. Most kids want to fit in, not offer themselves up for bullying and ridicule, or to become victims of violence.”

“ It’s a terrifying experience when they first realize it. So if a kid actually opens up, and tells you he’s been struggling, and he was scared, and depressed, and wanted to “erase himself,” then for God’s sake, believe him, he’s telling the truth! He didn’t just “get it into his head.” Most Gay kids have figured it out by the time they reach adolescence. I’d bet Victor’s been dealing with this in isolation, secretly, for maybe the past three or four years.Telling you he is Gay was probably the hardest, scariest thing your son has ever done. Because when he said those words out loud to you, his parents, he was also saying them to himself. Right now he’s probably feeling overwhelmed, and he believes he has no support. He needs to learn how to be more accepting of himself. Because a lot of it is tied to that. Victor’s anxieties about how to navigate this crisis must be through the roof right now. “

“Because you’re allowing him to get help, and giving yourself some space and time to work out your own problems, you’ve done the best thing you can do, Armando. I just want you to know Victor will be in good hands. He’ll be living at my place, which isn’t too far from his school. He will be supervised, he’ll keep to a schedule, and he’ll get the counseling he needs.I’ve worked with a number of at risk kids. I think we’re going to get along fine. Everything I’ve heard about Victor from you and from Ms. Albright tells me he’s a pretty remarkable kid. I’m glad she called me to help. I believe Victor has some pretty remarkable parents, so don’t be too hard on yourself about not being aware of any signals that he was in trouble.”

“ Lots of parents have walked down this road as parents of Gay teenagers. You’re not the first person to go through it. When you feel ready, I can put you in touch with some of them if you like. For now, what I’d like to do is arrange to come by your place this weekend, with Victor, and he can pick up some of his personal belongings, you know, clothes and what not. And maybe later next week when things start to settle down, you and I can talk again, and see where we go from here, OK?” Dr. Brooks stood, and walked over to Armando, “Here, this is my cell phone number. You call me whenever you need to. “ 

Armando rose, feeling a little shaky. Harold gave him a “bro hug,” and walked him out to his car. It was a beautiful Spring day. “This is a nice campus! How many students?” “Oh, about 2,000 full time. But we have a lot of part time students who come in the evenings. Men and women about your age. We offer a lot of degree programs.We have online classes too. Here, let me give you a catalogue. “ 

Armando took the catalogue from Harold. “You know, my father owned rental properties, and I used to work for him. I was supposed to take over once he retired. I went to college for two years, then got certified in property and facilities management. I wanted to get a business degree, but we got married, and plans changed.” Harold smiled, as they approached Armando’s car. “Lots of men and women are in that position. When you come up for air, check out that catalogue. You know, sometimes you can even take a class just because you want to do something nice for yourself.”


	18. in Which Ben Campbell Comes Home....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We'll finally meet Benji's dad who has some important news for his family. He also shares his opinion of Victor with Benji.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I've given Benji a family. I felt like he needed one. On TV he's hot and "mysterious" and as Felix describes him, "chill," but to me he also seems, reserved and maybe lonely....his life has definitely taken a turn for the better with Victor around to share it....
> 
> Sorry for the delay in posting....I'm dealing with major writer's block issues..... but don't be too concerned. I'm committed to this story. And the two guys will not leave me alone!!! They've invaded my brain!

When Benji and Victor got back from school Thursday afternoon, Sally Anne was curled up comfortably in her husband's arms on the front porch glider. Benji bounded up the steps, “Hey, Dad!! Glad you’re back! How did it go? ” Ben Campbell stood up and pulled his son in for a warm hug. “ Benji, it was a great trip! And I owe you a debt of thanks!. You really saved us! The work you did on fixing those charts and graphs, the photos, the layout, just the whole thing, made our presentation so much more effective! “ Benjii blushed under his praise. “Wow. Thanks. I’m glad I could help. “ 

Victor stood apart watching father & son,...and thinking of Armando. Benji turned, reaching out to bring him into their circle, ”Hey, I want to introduce you to Victor Salazar,” Benji was fit to burst, “Victor, this is my Dad, Ben Campbell.” Victor gave him a warm smile and offered his hand, “Hi, Mr. Campbell! I’ve been your houseguest for a few days, and I really appreciate…” “Victor,” Ben interrupted, “I was looking forward to meeting you. Benji’s mother has been so excited to have you here, I wondered if I should be jealous! “ he laughed.

“I was wonderin’ when somebody’s gonna remember me! Give me some sugar, Benji!” Sally Anne hauled herself off the glider for a kiss, then put an arm around the two boys. “We have some celebrating to do! Daddy’s worn out, and so am I, with all the running around we’ve been doing, so I’m thinking we should order in and just spend some time enjoyin’ one another’s company….and Daddy can share some of his good news with us. Of course we could all dress up and go out, but…” Benji shook his head, “Hey just being together is good enough for me. Let’s go with your plan, Mama.” 

Victor made a quick detour to the powder room, while Benji ran up the stairs to the 3rd floor bathroom. When Victor walked into the bedroom they shared, Benji was already changing out of his school clothes. “Just so you know, man, I haven’t seen my father in such a good mood in months. I’m talkin like, maybe almost a year! “ Benji exclaimed. Victor smiled, “He seems like a good guy, Benji. He sure was singing your praises.” 

Benji nodded, ”Yeah. Well he & his two partners were going to Augusta to this medical conference and they had some important meetings set up, and they had a display booth at the conference and the ad agency they hired to put their presentation together screwed everything up. My father was a wreck.”

“ I asked if I could take a look at it. I guess he was desperate, because he let me. I made him walk me through the presentation, and I just re-did some stuff and moved some things around. Gave them a new layout, better flow. I had about 5-6 days, working with the print and graphics kids over at the college. He makes it a lot bigger deal than it actually was.” 

Victor shook his head. “No way, Benji. I’m on his side on this one. It sounds like it was a very big deal. “ Benji smiled. ”Actually, my mother started it. He asked her to look at it, and she just shook her head, said something was missing, and…” Victor interrupted, “Benji, sometimes, it’s OK to accept praise and take credit. You’re an artist. You have a very good eye.” Benji laughed softly, as he walked into Victor’s arms. They kissed, “I am… and I do…my eyes spotted you on the first day of school…” Victor murmured into his hair, “...and you seduced me…” Benji smiled. “Actually,...maybe I did. Whatever you want to call it...it worked.” 

Dinner came down to Rathbun’s Steakhouse or Sotto Sotto Italian, both nearby. Sally Anne and Ben decided to share an aged porterhouse for two, and Benji and Victor got the Rathbun’s burgers, which were like, out of this world. There was a lot to celebrate as it turned out. Because what happened in Augusta was the result of months of negotiations and it was life-changing. As Benji’s dad explained it, they had finally signed a contract with one of the largest medical diagnostic and testing labs in the United States. 

Benji’s dad and his partners developed specialized, state of the art technology for diagnostic and rapid testing devices for hospitals, doctor’s offices, and even for personal use. Their accuracy rate was well above the industry standard, and that alone was an achievement. The deal was worth millions. “You know, they’re so big, they could have just just rolled right over us. We thought this was the best deal we’ll ever see, and we knew it could go away in a matter of months. So we jumped.“ Ben Campbell was impressed with the questions Victor asked. He really was a science geek at heart. 

Suddenly Ben Campbell’s eyes lit up, “Hey Benji! Mama tells me your Synthesizer arrived. “ Benji smiled, “Yeah, I set it up last night, now I’m trying to figure out what it can do. Victor’s been helping.” “Do you play any instruments, Victor?” Victor smiled, “Yes, I play piano...my mother’s a music teacher, and I picked up some guitar on my own. I’m not as good as Benji, but he promised to help me work on that. “ Sally Anne was blissed out just watching the three of them. That second bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon helped, but it was all good. Finally, Ben and Sally Anne repaired to the front porch, while the boys cleaned up, then went upstairs to finish homework.

The next morning when Benji wandered into the kitchen at a little past 7, his father was already there attempting to make coffee. “Hey, Daddy, let me get that.” he offered. Ben Campbell laughed, “That's right, you’re the professional barista in the house.“ He took a seat at the counter peeling a banana, watching as Benji set up the espresso/coffeemaker. “Benji, I came down early this morning because I wanted to have a chance to talk to you...Son,....I owe you an apology...Truly…. I know I haven’t been present the way I should’ve been for the past few months. Even when I've been here I’ve been too preoccupied to focus on what’s going on in this house. I’ve been too wrapped up in stuff at the lab, and really I miss spending time with you.”

“And I meant what I said. You really came through for me. It wasn’t just the work product. Yes, that was just excellent! But it was mainly the way you handled it. I was a nervous wreck, and you were so calm, asking questions and allowing me to walk through my presentation, so that by the end I felt comfortable and confident, instead of being an anxious mess.” Benji broke off a piece of his banana and started to protest against all the accolades, but his father ignored him, giving Benji a heartfelt hug.

Ben mussed his son’s hair affectionately, then changed the subject. “And while I’ve been so wrapped up in work, some changes have happened around here, too. Benji, you know... I try not to get into your personal business. That’s Mama’s department. But I can’t tell you how happy I am to see the back of Derek! That guy was toxic. You always seemed to be on edge when he was around. I’m glad he’s out of the picture, you know? I can see why your mother raves about Victor. He seems like a really sweet guy. And very smart, too. You just seem a lot happier, and if he had any part in making that happen I’m glad! “ Ben Campbell grew thoughtful,” I hope things work out for him at home. …” 

Benji blushed, totally unaccustomed to discussing his lovelife with his father. “ I do too, Daddy. Victor’s just a really good person. ...He means the world to me.” Ben Campbell patted his son on the shoulder,   
” Hey, is that coffee ready? It sure smells good! ” Victor walked in at that moment, semi conscious ” Did someone say coffee? Hey, Mr. Campbell! Good morning.” Victor went over to the coffeemaker, and without thinking, put his arm around Benji’s waist for a quick hug as he poured their coffee. It was a completely natural, unself-conscious gesture. 

Then, Ben Campbell interrupted the mood, “So what does your schedule look like this weekend?” Benji looked over at Victor for an answer, “ Well, unfortunately I’ll be moving. I hate to leave, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome, you’ve been so kind to me. I’m involved with a mentorship program, and Dr. Brooks is expecting me, so I need to get settled this weekend. Saturday is going to be pretty busy. I have some shopping and general running around to do.”

”Benji nodded, “Yeah and I promised I’d help, so it’s gonna be crazy.” Victor grew thoughtful, “I have to go with Dr. Brooks to see my parents Saturday, too. Oh! And I have basketball practice this afternoon. Our last game is on Sunday. It’s a big game. We're tied for the regional championship.” 

Sally Anne walked in right on cue, “Well, Victor I will surely be sorry to see you go. You know you’re welcome here anytime, baby. Don’t be a stranger.” She hugged him, then poured herself some of Benji’s coffee. “I was hoping we could all do something special on Sunday. What time is your game, Victor?” “It’s at 3 PM, Ma’am.“ “Ohh, good! Sunday morning the Campbells are going to Church, Victor, and we want you to come along. We attend All Saints Episcopal, for the 10 AM service, so we like to leave around 9:30. and then we can go out for brunch. Everybody in Atlanta goes to brunch, sweetie. Would you like that?” “I’d love to, Mrs. Campbell! I’m just not sure if I can get away. “

Sally Anne looked over at her husband and smiled all flirty, “ You doin OK, Ben Campbell?” He blushed (!) and smiled back, “Yes, ma’am...(cough!) I’m just trying to figure out whether I can draft these two into helping me unload my car.” “Dad, we can get to it when we get home, but it’ll probably be around 6 or so, is that OK?”


	19. Team Meeting....and a One Week Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor 's final team practice before Sunday's championship game, and Andrew takes charge of the team meeting and gives everyone their "marching orders"... later, Victor & Benji run late for a dinner outing with Sally Anne and Ben Campbell.

At lunch Friday, Andrew arranged to go with Benji on Saturday morning to look for a small dresser and a cupboard for the bedroom at the pool house, and Benji, Mia, Felix, and Lake agreed to put together what they could find around their own houses to supply bed & bath linens as well as kitchen stuff. Lake and Felix had a “special surprise” they were going to pick up Saturday, while Mia went with Victor and her dad to Victor’s house.

Mia hoped she could take the edge off of what could be an awkward situation. Her father had no objection if Victor was OK with it. He was. He knew his parents were fond of Mia and he wanted them to see that life went on and he was not isolated. His friends were standing by him. 

Later, as classes ended for the week, Benji headed to a meeting with his LGBT group while Victor and Andrew were at basketball practice. Victor was a wreck, his nerves really working on him as they approached the gym. Andrew had his arm on Victor’s shoulder. “Man, I told you. I’ve got this, OK? You’re gonna be surprised.”

When they walked in, the guys were quiet, talking among themselves as they changed into their gymwear. There were no snickers or veiled remarks. Then Coach Ford walked in and asked for their attention, “OK. We’re in a fight for the regional championship Sunday! I want all of you to go out there and really focus. It’s up to you to decide whether our season ends tomorrow, or we go to the playoffs. Do your best. I hope we win! We’re definitely good enough. But whether we do or not, I know all of us want to feel good about how we play the game. We’ve had a great season. You can all feel some pride in that. So, on Sunday, play hard and have fun ...and remember to look out for one another! Andrew? As team captain you have the floor.”

“Thanks coach. We’re going to give it 1000%, on Sunday, and leave everything out there on the floor. I have just one item of business, really an update. We met a few days ago to discuss the fact that one of our team mates has come out as Gay. It’s not the first time this has ever happened, and it definitely won’t be the last. Victor, I won’t lie. Some guys aren’t as open-minded about this as others are. They live in the 18th century or something. But all of us agree that our personal opinions or whatever, have no place here. And Coach Ford has already given us his zero tolerance policy on this as far as bullying and harassment. The penalties are tough here at Creekwood, and the possibility of suspension and even prosecution under the law is on the table for severe misbehavior. ” 

“A couple of the guys told me they wish they had known sooner. Really? Why? You’re not entitled to know how someone else handles their personal decisions.Personal means it’s not your business! It obviously has not affected our game, we have a stronger team this year...partly because of Victor. So stay focused. This is not an issue. The issue is working as a team, and winning on Sunday.”

“ But the other thing that came out of our discussion a few days ago was, not only are we going to support our teammate, but we're going to reach out to other people who need support, too. We’re going to ask students in other athletic programs at Creekwood to join with us, and this team, right here, will be taking the lead. It’s important. So the goal is to be active both on and off the court. We’ll be making an announcement with more details about this to the entire school this week, possibly Tuesday or Wednesday. But we hope to launch it Sunday, by having a great turnout with representation from all our fellow students and organizations.”

“ Some of you have been involved with helping make this happen. We really appreciate that! We’re working out a system right now in cooperation with the LGBT association here at Creekwood, and other organizations at school, to be unofficial eyes and ears in our hallways, our classrooms, on our campus, and in our community. We're doing this with the blessing of the school administration. “

Basically, it’s just like, “If you see something, say something.” There will be zero tolerance for bullying, harassment, hate speech, vandalism, racism, and any other acts of hostility targeted at students no matter what the reason. We’re not going to ignore it, or turn a blind eye when someone is mistreated. This is strictly non-violent, and we don’t want anyone to put themselves in danger, but we want the person who is being mistreated to know they have allies. Bottom line: This is your safe space. Creekwood is a safe space. So there will be no tolerance for racism, homophobia, or bullying of any kind. That’s it. Now, let's get this practice started. It’s Friday. I’ve got things to do. “

After practice, Andrew dropped the guys off with a reminder they’d meet at Mia’s by 9 AM. Victor ran upstairs to take a shower, while Benji went out to the garage to see if his dad still needed help unpacking the car. Sally Anne was out, showing a house in the Grant Park neighborhood. She texted to suggest going out for dinner, something casual but good. Boccalupo was close by, and the food was outstanding. 

Benji came up to shower and change while Victor sat out on the porch, “air drying” while he talked to Pilar on the phone. She told him Adrian kept asking about him, and Mami was doing laundry for the past two days to make sure his clothes were all ready for him to pick up. When he came back inside to finish dressing, he heard the hair dryer in the bathroom. The door was open, so he walked over and leaned against the frame watching Benji style his hair. 

Benji noticed him and cut the dryer off, “What?” Victor smiled. ” I like watching you…” he came in, wrapped his arms around Benji,moving in close. Benji sighed. Victor’s warm skin against his back was distracting….but it felt incredible. He leaned into him. “Are you going to finish getting dressed?” “I can finish dressing in two seconds…” Victor’s hands roamed. Benji gave up, “...keep on Victor, and you’ll make us late...“ 

Finally, he turned to face Victor, “Today’s Friday. Where were you at this time last Friday?” He moved closer. ” Eating BBQ in Willacoochee, trying to figure out how to tell you I was in love with you....can you believe it’s only been one week! My whole life has changed. Forever.” Benji laughed softly, kissing the corner of Victor’s mouth, “ ...I’m thinking mine has too...” Benji’s hands slid down under Victor’s briefs to cup his bare ass, “We should wait until we get back from dinner, so we can take our time, ok?” “Ok. But you have to stop rubbing on my ass like that…” “I will…”


	20. Things That Don't Stay Buried....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor & Benji share a festive dinner at the neighborhood gathering place, with Benji's parents. This will be their last night together...or not...  
> Later, what begins as midnight loving-making on the back porch takes a sudden turn, triggering dark memories....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I can say is this was hard. I felt so bad for those two guys, because this chapter totally surprised me. It went in a completely different direction than I had hoped...

Boccalupo was crowded, so they parked down the street. Sally Anne and Ben Campbell held hands as they made their way towards the restaurant, greeting neighbors as they passed. Victor took Benji’s hand as they wandered along behind. The only looks they got were from another Gay couple who smiled and said hello. The atmosphere was noisy, festive, and once the wine was served and the food ordered, Sally Anne wanted pictures. First Ben & Benji, then Benji and Victor, then Ben, Benji, and Victor. When Ben insisted she get in on it, she happily agreed, no coaxing necessary. 

As they finished, Sally Anne smiled warmly at Victor, ”Now, I was just thinking. I know you’re planning on moving into your new place tomorrow. But can I make a suggestion? Suppose you all do your runnin’ around, get everything all set up, then come back here for one more night? That way, you can get a good night’s sleep, and we won’t have to drive all the way up there to pick you up, we can just go to church down at All Saints, then drive you back.”

“ I think if we plan brunch at Haven’s, it’s near enough to school and to your new place, and you won’t have to rush so much to get to your game. Because All Saints is at the opposite end of the world from Creekwood. “ Ben added that they could sleep an hour later, and that clinched it. “Let me check with Dr. Brooks. But I’d love to!” 

When they got back from dinner, Victor & Benji headed upstairs while his parents ended up on the front porch visiting with neighbors who were out for a walk and stopped for wine & conversation. Victor picked up a guitar. ”Do you mind?” Benji smiled, “Of course not. I was thinking of letting you take one of these with you. It’ll give you a chance to work on your technique. Victor, you have a really good voice. And you can play the guitar. You just need to work at it.” For a while, music was a welcome distraction, as they worked on developing a duet based on some vintage rock they found in Benji’s grandfather’s collection. 

When their practice session ended, Victor’s expression grew serious. “I wish I didn’t have to go…” Benji nodded slowly. “ Victor, last Saturday night, we had no idea when we’d see one another again. But we’ve been together, really together every night except last Saturday. In an odd way this whole week has been a gift.” He led Victor out to the porch, lighting the citronella candles. Victor sat close, leaned in as Benji stroked the back of his head, “But I also know you miss your family.” 

Victor nodded. “ Of course. I sort of get knots in my stomach thinking about going over there tomorrow, but I do love them...and I guess part of me misses the daily chaos!” he laughed. “They’re always on my mind. We’ve had a good life, Benji…But I’ve known since I was about 12 yrs. old that my version of normal was not in sync with theirs. There was a lot of pretending at our house...When they told us we were leaving Texas, I promised myself I was going to make a fresh start here.”

“ For me, that meant coming out. The last two years, I’ve been in hell. I didn’t want to be Gay. I was terrified, but I couldn’t keep hiding either. I felt like I was going crazy. But honestly, once I got to know you, there’s no way I could ever hide who I am, or how I feel about you! “ Benji kissed the top of his head, “I’m just sorry it took so long for both of us to figure it out,” he whispered. “All these months we wasted, circling one another, wondering,...hoping…...Me wasting time with Derek, you trying to force yourself to feel something more than friendship for Mia. “

Benji adjusted a cushion on the loveseat’s armrest and slid down to rest his head. He reached for Victor, who tossed another seat cushion on the deck, and knelt beside him. He traced the line of Victor’s jaw, his mouth, then slid his hand around Victor’s neck, pulling him in. The deep lingering kisses had Victor in a trance, ”I never knew….kissing could be so...fucking... sexy…” he whispered. 

His hands played in the soft dusting of dark blonde hair on Benji’s chest,his fingers brushing the tips of his nipples. His tongue swirling around the areolas, feeling the nipples harden, as he gently rolled first one then the other between his fingers. Victor was almost breathless as he tongued Benji’s navel, his mouth traveling farther, finally sliding his hands down to unfasten Benji’s jeans. He worked them down around his hips, exposing his bush. He buried his face, inhaling Benji, when suddenly, he was fighting back tears. He felt light-headed, as if he might pass out.

“ I feel drunk….and I feel like my heart's going to explode, it’s beating so fast!” he whispered, his eyes filled with fear as he looked up at Benji. His laugh had a manic quality as he tried to cover his embarrassment at this sudden flood of emotions he couldn’t control, ” Do I sound like some cheap Lifetime movie or what?” He could hardly catch his breath, he was gasping, tears streaming down his cheeks. Benji reached for him, “Oh, baby, please don’t!” he pulled him close. ” I’m right here, Victor! I’ve got you!” 

Victor’s voice was shaky.” I don’t know what’s happening!...what’s wrong with me tonight, I feel so hyper, so wired,...I’m losin’ it! ” he was shaking. He felt cold to Benji, he was shivering. His teeth chattered. He held him close, rubbing his back, “Nothing is wrong with you. It’s a lot, Victor. You’re dealing with so much, you’ve got to let it out sometime. Just let go, Baby. Let go,” he murmured,”You don’t always have to be strong….or have everything under control.” It took a while, but gradually, Victor’s breathing became regular, and he seemed to calm down.

He rested his head against Benji’s chest. “I feel so stupid.” “Hey, there is nothing stupid about this. I think you just had some kind of anxiety attack. It’s real. You’re not Superman. I guarantee you there will be a day when I’ll need you like this, too.” They were quiet for a while, listening to the night sounds. Victor was so still Benji thought he’d fallen asleep. “Victor? Are you awake?” He felt Victor smile against his chest,” Mmm,hmm. I’m listening to your heartbeat…it’s so peaceful out here. I think I feel better, now....my head's sort of throbbing...” 

Benji raised himself, whispered softly, “ Good...now,..let's take this inside, OK?” They stood up, Victor a little wobbly, and blew out the candles on the porch. “... it’s getting cooler out here, “ Benji noted,  
“ Let’s get in bed....there’s nothing I love better than a warm bed, and holding you in my arms,...there’s nothing better.... “ Less than five minutes later, an exhausted Victor was sound asleep. Benji sat propped up on his pillow in the darkness, one hand resting on Victor’s head, the other brushing tears off his own cheeks, remembering things long buried.


	21. Letting Go of Victor.....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benji's mother drives over to the Brooks house to drop off Victor, but obviously unwilling to let him go...while Dr. Brooks is definitely in "take charge" mode.

Benji woke to a text from his mother, “I’m heading to my office in Brookhaven to get some work done before my 10: 30 appointment. Do you need a ride anywhere? “ Victor slept on beside him, in his bed, one arm flung across Benji’s stomach. He shook Victor’s shoulder, “Hey, you!,” he whispered,” We have to get moving! My mother will drive us to Mia’s. It’s almost 8:30.” Victor groaned, “In a minute…” “No Victor. Now. Let’s go.” Benji went into the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth, threw on some jeans and a t-shirt then headed downstairs for some desperately needed coffee. Victor was ten minutes behind him. 

There was a box of “stuff” on the kitchen counter with housewares and linens for the pool house. They loaded the car and headed out, Sally Ann chatting amiably, “You know, I think I recognize this address. I think I showed this house a few years ago. I remember because it was fairly new and the owner was moving out of state.”

“ If you don’t mind Victor, I’d like to stop for a minute. I want to see your new place. Is that OK?” Victor looked at Benji, clearly surprised at his mother’s interest, “Sure Mrs. Campbell, if you want to. There’s not much to see. I mean It’s a nice place…” Andrew’s truck was already in the driveway when they arrived, and Lake was out front trying to parallel park her mother’s car. Felix smiled proudly at his chauffeur’s efforts, finally jumping out to catch up with the boys and meet Benji’s mother. 

Victor handed off the box to Benji while he went inside to get a key. Mia and Andrew were holding hands across the counter, smiling and laughing quietly, startled when they saw Victor. “Hey guys, you have company!”” he teased. Mia smiled, “Victor! You doing OK? You look kind of sleepy. Let me get you the key to the pool house and I’ll tell my father you're here. He’s upstairs. Where’s Benji?” “He and his mother are outside with Felix and Lake. She gave me a box of stuff for the Pool House, and she wanted to take a look if you don’t mind?” Mia made a face, “Of course I don’t mind. It’s your place!” 

Andrew walked over to the cupboard to get extra glasses, then to the fridge for juice. “Here, Victor, have some orange juice, it’ll help you wake up. I’ll go say hello,” then he went outside. Victor checked his phone and tensed when he saw several messages from his parents and Pilar. It all came down to pancakes. His mother wanted to know when he and Dr. Brooks would get there. She was planning a big breakfast. 

He looked up as Mia came in with her dad, “Hey, Victor! How you doin, young man?” Harold smiled offering his hand. Victor looked relieved. “I’m good, Dr. Brooks, I guess. A little nervous, but doing OK right now. We met a few months ago, but it was just for a minute, so you might not remember?” Harold nodded, “Oh, I remember. I try to keep up with Mia as much as I reasonably can.” he laughed. “So look, I spoke to your father and he and your mother invited us for breakfast, he suggested 10 AM. “ Mia smiled, “I’ll leave you guys to talk, and go say hello to Benji’s mother…”

Harold continued, “ I’m prepared to spend some time. Our goal today is that your parents and you feel comfortable with the basic setup. Obviously, we want to try to heal and rebuild long term, but that may take a while...if it’s even possible. My main concern is you, and what you need. Now, if at any time, you feel uncomfortable or get anxious being there, you let me know and we’ll leave, OK? I know this may be difficult for you. Mia said she wants to come for moral support, but again, that’s up to you. Family stuff can be very stressful. And people may get emotional, so we’ll play it by ear to some extent and see what happens.”

“ I’ve talked to your dad twice since I met with him, but today will be my first time meeting the rest of the family. When we get back here, you and I need to sit down one on one. Does that work?” Victor nodded, “Of course, Dr. Brooks. Honestly? I’m glad you’re going to be with me. I guess I am nervous. I think I might’ve had some kind of anxiety attack last night. It was pretty intense. Benji calmed me down. “ A look of concern flashed across Harold’s face, he nodded, “ Well that’s to be expected, Victor. I’m glad Benji was there for you. You probably need to talk about it with Dr. Spier, too. It’s important. Counseling only works if you’re open and honest about your struggles. “

Victor nodded, “I know it’s only been a week since I dropped this bombshell on my parents, but it feels like a lot longer, like another lifetime. Almost like that was a different person. I’m trying to stay in touch, but I’ve had some advice from Dr. Spier on how to handle that part, too. Oh. Before we leave, I have some stuff I need to put in the pool house first,” Harold squeezed Victor’s shoulder, and walked towards the patio, “ Sure! What was I thinking! Here’s the key, let’s go take a look…” 

He guided Victor outside to join Mia. She and Lake and Benji’s mother were sitting at one of the patio tables having a very animated conversation.Their laughter drew Harold’s attention. Benji interrupted his discussion about electronics with Felix and Andrew to join them. “Dr. Brooks this is Benji Campbell...and this is his mother, Sally Anne Campbell…” Sally Anne’s attire was chic Friday casual, expensive but understated. Lake approved. She stood up and greeted him warmly, “How you doin, Dr. Brooks! I hope you don’t mind that I’ve invited myself over, but I want to make sure Victor’s OK, and get a chance to see how things are set up for him. We love Victor, and I’m gonna miss him. I hope he’ll still be able to spend time with us …” 

Her warmth was infectious. Harold smiled,nodding in agreement, “ Of course! It’s up to Victor, but I’m sure we can work something out. “ They all wandered down towards the pool house, Sally Anne hanging back for a few minutes with Harold. They walked slowly, deep in conversation. “It was very kind of you to let Victor stay over this week, Mrs. Campbell. It seems to agree with him. “ “Oh, Victor is a great kid, it was no trouble at all. He & Benji are very close. ...You know, Dr. Brooks, ...She spoke slowly,”...our family has had some experience with tough times…” she confided.

“ Benji really struggled with the fact that he was Gay, long before he was able to come out to us. He’s our only child. The idea of disowning him never entered our minds, but of course he was so angry in the beginning. I recognize now that he was just livin’ in a state of terror, so he had no idea how we’d react.”  
She talked quietly, and her voice trembled as she reflected on the dark times. “There were times I didn’t think my son would survive. His father and I felt so helpless. Things came to a head when he had his car accident. I honestly thought we’d lose him. Later, we all ended up in counseling.”

“It took us all more than a year, but somehow, we’ve all come out closer on the other end. Counseling was a big help, but it was love and acceptance of one another that got us through it. And I prayed a lot.” She laughed to lighten the mood. “ Sorry if I’ve “over-shared…” Harold gave her a friendly hug, “Not at all. I know a little bit about what rough times are like. My own family has had more than a few mountains to climb.”

“ Look, we want to help, and be as supportive as we can.” she explained, “ I invited Victor to come to church with us tomorrow, and then for brunch. We live in Inman Park, and go to All Saints so it’s quite a ways from here, but we planned on having brunch nearby, over at Haven’s. It would be a lot easier if he could spend one more night with us. I want to get him back in time for his game. My husband, Ben Campbell was thinking we might all enjoy the game, so we may do that. Now if any of this is too much, and you think we need to back off you let me know, because we want to do what’s best for him. I just want Victor to know we care about him…” 

Harold’s warm smile lifted Sally Anne’s spirits,“ Look, things can get pretty rough for these kids! I wouldn't want to be a teenager for all the money in the world, Mrs. Campbell. Being the parent of one is more than enough! Today is a big day for Victor, because he’s going to go home for a supervised family visit. I’ll be with him, but I’m sure it’s stressing him out. You’re doing a good thing. Any time Victor can be with people who care about him, and experience acceptance and support, it’s all good. If he feels comfortable with church, we can take a look at it. I’ll let you know. I’ve heard a lot about All Saints Episcopal. They have some good programs there.” 

The two of them caught up with Benji, Victor, and the crew at the Pool House, and Sally Anne admired the modest apartment, “Well Victor, this is just perfect! Now you need to make it personal. Put some of Victor into it. I’m afraid I have to run. I have some paperwork to do before I meet with my client. You take care, and call me if you need anything. Mia, Lake, I sure enjoyed visiting with you. Maybe we can do it again soon!” She smiled at Dr. Brooks, “Hopefully we’ll see you tomorrow! “ Victor got a hug and a kiss, and Benji walked her to her car. 

She handed Benji her credit card and patted his cheek, “Now don’t you go crazy with my card, sugar! Benji, I think this is going to work out. Dr. Brooks seems like a lovely guy, and you all have a good crew. I know you’re worried and you don't want to see him go,...” “Hey, Mama, I’m good. You and Daddy have been great about Victor staying over. He just had a tough night last night. Worrying about seeing his parents.” She shook her head, in sympathy.

“Don’t worry, Mama. He’ll definitely be back, but this move is for the best right now. Victor needs some space to figure things out, and work on some of his issues, plus he’ll start going to counseling this week coming up. And honestly? I let Derek take over my life. I ‘m not doing that again. I’m not the same person I was then. I’m learning,” he laughed. “I’m in a good place. Please believe that. I really am. Besides, Victor’s not going to the moon. I have a feeling you’ll be seeing a lot of him. ...I know I will...“ Benji gave her a playful wink then kissed her, hoping she was reassured.


	22. One Step Forward Two Steps Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harold & Mia accompany Victor on his first home visit since he left a week ago. In a perverse attempt at hospitality, Isabel plans a pancake breakfast similar to his last family meal with them. Harold is very watchful, carefully observing the way the family interacts...forming his own conclusions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many moving parts! Just because Victor is hiding his anxieties well doesn't mean they're gone. He's had a lifetime of experience of putting on a brave, cheerful front. I think Armando & Victor have a lot in common in some ways ...including explosive tempers. Pilar has some very surprising observations about her parents.... especially picking up on Isabel seeming angry at Victor....  
> Harold is taking it all in, observing both what is said and what isn't, constantly assessing the situation. One thing: It seems like bringing Mia along was a smart idea....

The Salazar kitchen was busy. Adrian was almost finished setting the table, while Pilar set a platter of bacon & breakfast sausage down next to a bowl of fruit salad. “Adrian! You’re so slow, how long can it take to set the table?” “I’m not slow, “ he insisted, ”I just want everything to be orderly, and neat. “ He adjusted the silverware as he spoke. A bowl of pancake batter sat on the counter next to the stove. As Isabel walked into the room, she heard a knock on the door. 

“Mia! What a nice surprise! Victor’s not here, sweetie, but come in for a minute.” When Victor came up behind her laughing, Isabel was totally confused. She smiled warily, “ Now what’s going on here? “ she laughed nervously as Mia embraced her, “How are you doing, Mrs. Salazar? I invited myself along with Victor, because I wanted to see you, and ...I wanted to introduce you to my father!” 

Armando was walking down the hallway towards the kitchen as Mia introduced Harold to Isabel, Adrian and Pilar. She gave a friendly wave to Armando, as he came in, his eyes wide with surprise. Victor gave his mother a warm hug, “Hey, Mami, how are you! , “ Then he whispered,” Thank you for doing this. It means a lot to me! “ His eyes filled with tears, “ I love you!” She kissed him lightly on the cheek brushing a speck of “something” from her eyes.

Armando surveyed the gathering and shook his head. “Now I really am confused. So Dr. Brooks is your father? And Victor is staying with you? “ Harold jumped in, “Yes, it’s a small world, isn’t it. It took me a minute to connect the dots, but when Mia explained to me a couple days ago that I’ve already met Victor, I was surprised too. They all go to the same school, so hanging out together isn’t as odd as it might seem. Victor has made some great friends. I'm glad Mia is one of them. “ Just then, Adrian ran to give Mia a hug, and Pilar rescued the situation, “So where are the pancakes? I’m hungry! Victor, don't just stand there…” Isabel smiled at him, “Go ahead. You know you’re the pro with this…”

Armando pulled out a chair and offered it to Harold, and the two men talked together while Isabel reached for coffee mugs, handing them to Mia…..”So, “ she said quietly,” what are the chances you and Victor might patch things up, Mia…” Mia laughed lightly, “Oh, maybe… never! I have a boyfriend. I’d love for you to meet him. Andrew Spencer. He and Victor play basketball together…” “Yeah, Mami, “ Victor eavesdropped, “ Mia’s probably one of my best friends in the world, but last time I checked, I’m still Gay!...“ he laughed. As Isabel watched the two of them and their playful manner with one another, she couldn't deny their closeness…..”Who knows, “ she thought…

Breakfast was pleasant enough, there was some laughter and some teasing. Relaxed enough that maybe it had a healing effect on Isabel and Armando. Harold had fun with Adrian’s tall tales and magic tricks, and Pilar was glad for the chance to catch up with Mia. “So, girl, “ Mia asked,”what have you been doing with yourself, living in the eye of the hurricane, so to speak?” Pilar smiled excitedly, “Well, I think I finally found my people!” she laughed. “I just joined the photography club and the film club! In fact, I’m supposed to meet some people this afternoon at Piedmont Park. We’re going to take pictures, maybe shoot some video…Some of them are nerds for sure, but I’m learning a lot of technical stuff from them! Hey. I may need some help with a project I’m thinking of for film club. Is it OK if I call you?…” 

Isabel watched Mia and Pilar, impressed with this new version of her daughter. She was excited, she had plans, she laughed more. She was still Pilar, but definitely an improved version. Mia was happy for Pilar, too. “ Of course you can call me. You don’t need a reason, Pilar. You really seem excited about it! I’m glad you finally found something…” ”I never would have thought of it, except for Benji! He was the one who talked me into checking it out, giving me suggestions. Benji really believes I can do something with this! And he knows all the creative people…” Pilar blurted. 

Isabel’s radar went off, “Benji? Are you talking about that Gay kid who was here with his boyfriend for Victor’s birthday? He said he was in a band? ...Why would Pilar ever be talking to Benji? Is he part of your circle of friends, too, Victor?” Victor smiled, ignoring her tone, ”Yeah, Mami, of course! Benji and I are close. In fact he’s teaching me how to play the synthesizer, and helping me with guitar. He’s an awesome musician.” He looked both his parents in the eye, ” Benji’s just a pretty special guy. At least, he’s pretty special to me. I’m crazy about him.”

Mia chimed in, ”Yeah, Benji is a sweetheart. He’s such a good artist, too. I’ve seen some of his work.” Victor’s eyes lit up as he laughed, “Yeah, he is very talented, just don’t ask him about his latte’ art….Put it this way, it needs work, although he’s a lot better than me with that stuff…” Victor explained to Dr. Brooks, “Benji and I are baristas together at Brasstown,I first met him at school, but I really got to know him after he hired me at Brasstown.” 

There was an awkward pause. This time Armando rescued the conversation. ”Hey. My son has a big game tomorrow! I’m looking forward to it! So, what are the chances your team will make it to the state playoffs?” “Papi, I actually think they’re good. We have some strong players. Our coach seems kind of surprised we got this far, but we worked hard for it…” Mia smiled, “Yeah Victor, but you and Andrew are the real reason the team is stronger this year. The two of you are the heart of that team!” She observed. 

Armando nodded at Harold, ”It seems I remember seeing a picture in your office of you leaping in mid air to catch a football?” Harold laughed. “Yeah. Yeah, great picture, isn’t it. But completely misleading, “ He laughed. “That was like a one time thing. I played some football in college, but I was definitely mediocre at best. Now, I enjoy watching more than anything else….Look. I wonder if the three of us and Victor might take some time to talk over a few things? “ Isabel and Armando looked at one another. Mia jumped in, “Maybe Pilar and I can go for a walk with Adrian, and take some pictures?” 

Pilar nodded. “Sure! Just don’t take too long though, because we have to clean the kitchen, and then I have to get ready to leave to meet my friends!” Once they were outside, Pilar turned to Mia, “OK, now spill! Tell me what’s going on…” Mia giggled, “Pilar you see Victor practically every day… and you and Benji have lunch together!… you tell me…” Pilar was delighted to share secrets with Mia. “ Well, I take it we aren’t making any announcements to my parents about Benji and Victor as a couple yet?” 

Mia grew thoughtful. “ Not yet. Baby steps. It’s really up to Victor. Just let it happen naturally. They can’t avoid it much longer. Benji’s organized the LGBT group at school to come to the game, and he’ll be there. Your parents will be there, too, and you saw how Victor got his back up today, the minute your mother zeroed in on Benji. I think Victor did a pretty smart job of setting the stage. He told your parents Benji was special to him, that he was crazy about him. That was a lot. “

“And my goodness, Victor just lights up when you mention Benji’s name. It’s pretty obvious. Victor is never going to deny Benji is in his life. No way. He will go to war for Benji. That’s just him. I feel like he would do that for me or Felix too. Or you, Pilar. It’s a short list. But today is important for Victor and your parents. Getting into arguments over who Victor’s dating would be a distraction. They need to try to fix their own relationship...if it’s possible.””

Pillar was quiet. “I just don’t know what’s possible anymore. I don’t know if my parents will ever accept that their pride and joy, their first born son is Gay. My father doesn’t like it, but he seems to handle it better, because he is exposed to more people with his job, but my mother seems more isolated...I think even though she was good with us leaving Texas, she is still sort of stuck there in her mind…It’s almost as if she’s angry at Victor...very strange...”

“I guess I messed up calling Benji’s name this morning… but I’m crazy about him too! Not like Victor is, but..platonic! “ she laughed. “Benji is a beautiful person, Mia. I’m not talking about the fact that he’s so hot, which he is. I mean he is just like...really a good person.” Mia agreed, “I know. I’m getting to know him better, and Pilar, maybe you don’t see it because he’s your brother, but Victor’s a pretty awesome person, too. They’re good for one another. And they seem happy, and comfortable together. “

Pilar smiled, “ Well, I’m glad Victor’s staying with you. I have no idea how this whole thing is supposed to work, but summer’s coming and I hope I have visiting rights so I can hang out with you guys!,” Mia hugged Pilar, ”Of course you can! I’m looking forward to it. I’m not sure what my summer’s going to look like, but you’re definitely welcome!”

Inside, Victor cleared away the remains from breakfast, and asked if anyone wanted more coffee. “Thanks Victor, I’ll have another cup,” Harold handed his mug over and Armando followed his lead. Isabel offered a weak protest...“You don’t have to do that, Victor, Pilar and I…” Victor laughed, “I know Mami, it’s a reflex! Bussing tables is what I do…” 

“Well,” Harold observed, “ Breakfast was great! Thank you! I don’t think I will eat another thing for the rest of the day! Your mother’s right Victor, come sit down with us so we can take a look at things, see where we are. If anyone has questions or concerns, now is the time to raise them... It looks like everyone survived the week. And this is probably the hardest week of all. Mrs. Salazar, we haven’t had a chance to get acquainted yet, but Armando and I have talked a few times, and I’m looking forward to getting to know your family better.”

“ First, though, I want to assure you, Victor’s living arrangements at my house are completely on the up and up, so I hope you won’t have any concerns on that score. Look, I’ve been dealing with college kids in co-ed dorms for quite a few years now, so I’m sure we can manage this. And of course I would never put my own daughter in any situation that was inappropriate.”

“ Victor has his own space, his own room, his own bathroom, and his own study area. He has kitchen and laundry privileges, meals of course, etc. He’ll have a curfew, and a schedule. There are about 9 weeks left of school. He’ll begin his counseling this week, starting with two sessions a week, and everything will depend on how Dr. Spier and Victor feel about that. At some point we can see if we need to increase it for a while or let it be.”

Armando looked over at his son, “ I don’t know how I feel about these living arrangements to be honest. I know we agreed to it as part of being in this program, but Victor leaving home, living at his classmate’s house. It’s embarrassing to me. Our family is having some difficulties, yes, but I’m not comfortable with the whole school knowing our personal business.” 

There was an awkward pause as Harold studied the situation. He understood Armando was a very proud man who viewed his inability to handle their family’s problems as a weakness...just as he viewed Victor being Gay as a weakness, a flaw, and in some ways felt all of this was his fault. “Armando, I get it. I do. And we try to be as discreet as we can with all the kids. A lot of kids at Creekwood,or in high school in general often have unusual living arrangements.”

“ We have a lot of single parents. We have kids practically raising themselves because parents travel for their jobs. Some are living with grandparents, or other relatives, or neighbors, or legal guardians. The whole idea of a traditional family is becoming pretty flexible. I seriously doubt whether anyone will notice or care about Victor’s living arrangements except the people involved. And the fact that you’re present in his life, participating in school activities, etc. it probably won’t even come up. I know Mia and Victor’s other friends generally are pretty sensitive about respecting people’s privacy, and in all honesty, Victor’s friends are an important part of his life right now.” 

Armando turned to his son, “ How do you feel about that, Victor? Are you satisfied with the living arrangements? And these counseling sessions...do you think counseling sessions twice a week work for you?” Victor nodded, “Yeah, Papi, I think it’s fine. The living arrangements are really good. My friends are important to me. I’m lucky to have them. As for the counseling, I’m going to have to adjust my work schedule, but I can handle it.” Armando’s smile couldn’t hide the sadness in his eyes, “Look, if you need some walking around money or anything else, I’m here, mijo. I know Dr. Brooks said most of your expenses are covered in this program, but we can step up, too.” 

Victor smiled, “Thanks, Papi! I appreciate it….as a matter of fact,” he turned to his mother, “Mami, maybe you and Mia can come with me to pick up some personal stuff at Target? Your treat?” he teased. Isabel was somewhat startled by his invitation,”Of course. If you want me to.” She looked at Armando, who winked,”Hey, that’s a great idea. Just be careful. You can run up a bill pretty fast at Target.” Victor turned to Harold, “Dr. Brooks, is that OK?” Harold looked at the three of them for a couple beats, “Sure. We can take my car, will that work?” Isabel agreed, “ That’s perfect. Armando, if I don’t get back in time, can you get Pilar to her meet up at Piedmont Park, maybe Adrian would enjoy it, too?” Armando smiled, “Sounds like a plan.”

The shopping trip was settled, Isabel turned her attention to other concerns. “Counseling is important. I’m very glad we’re all going to do that, but I want to know about school, Victor. You have your job, your sports, your friends, what about school? How are your classes? “ Victor nodded, “Yeah, Mami I’m doing pretty good. I have a couple of tests this week, and we'll start preparing for finals pretty soon. I’m still working on a research paper for my government class…” 

She listened intently, “Because Victor, in all honesty with everything that’s going on, you may have to consider giving something up for a little while, your job, or your sports activities, too much social life, something. The counseling is important, and those grades are important. Those are the priorities. We want you to get into a good college. Everything else is second… and I’d like to hear from you a little more often. I know you and Papi text back and forth, but I want to hear from you, too.”

And so the conversation went.This was not a TV sitcom. Tensions were definitely there below the surface. But it seemed as if things were slowly thawing between Isabel and her oldest son,...except when they weren’t. In one of their earlier telephone conversations, Armando had shared with Harold that he and Isabel were meeting with a potential family counseling professional in the coming week, so everything seemed to be on track. 

They talked briefly about TV shows, sports teams, and other random stuff, until finally Victor stood and said he wanted to get some things from his bedroom. His parents exchanged an anxious glance, “hey, mijo, let me come with you. Your mother spent a lot of time getting everything together for you….” When Victor walked in, he realized it wasn’t “his room” anymore, it was Armando’s. 

“Papi, I…” Armando looked embarrassed. “Look. Your mother and I are working on our problems.You know that. Right now this is the best arrangement for us. We both agreed to it. And hey, next week we’ll be having our first meeting with a counselor too, Victor.” On impulse, Victor hugged his father, “I love you Papi. I’m glad that you agreed to get involved with this program, and that all of us are getting the help we need. “ 

Victor couldn’t stop the tears from welling up, any more than Armando could stop his own. “Hey, we’ll get through this, Victor. Putting a little space between people is not always a bad thing. Just remember I love you. I’m glad you suggested shopping with your mother. I think she really appreciated that you asked her. Look. I’ll see you tomorrow, mijo! We’re looking forward to the game. Adrian is very excited.“ He handed Victor the laundry basket filled with folded clothes sitting on his bed, and the backpack beside it. “Come on. I don’t want to keep Dr. Brooks waiting. You know, we’ve talked a few times, and he’s smart, but he’s very down to earth. I think I like him.”


	23. Shopping Trips....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mia works her magic to calm Victor down during their shopping trip with Isabel....while Andrew and Benji head out to find furniture for Victor's apartment. Both Andrew and Benji continue to amaze....Andrew with his common sense and home truths...and Benji....well, Benji is a lot more vulnerable than that "chill guy" we first met... in fact, it would be so easy to overlook how everything has been affecting Benji, because he doesn't share with too many people... but it has taken a toll on him....

The trip to the neighborhood Target on Caroline Street was quick, with Mia and Victor focused on just picking up personal items and toiletries while Harold and Isabel talked. “You saw how my mother jumped when Pilar mentioned Benji? She called him ‘that Gay kid…’ “ Victor was clearly stressed about it. Mia patted his back and gave him a hug, “Oh, yeah! But Victor, you handled it perfectly. You really did. I think the way you dismissed her concern without making a big deal out of it was just perfect. You didn’t take the bait. I loved that you were very direct. You didn’t mislead her. You said he was special to you and you were crazy about him.” 

“ All she really needs to know right now, is that everything is on track with your grades, and your counseling sessions. She has to get her own issues dealt with, don’t you think? I guess I should be more sympathetic…” Victor shook his head, “No you shouldn’t, Mia, I’m all through hiding. I’m in a relationship. Period. He’s the best part of my life right now! He’s a beautiful person. And his parents welcomed me with open arms. My mother knew exactly what she was doing. Look. If me getting with Benji bothers her, shame on her!” He was visibly agitated.

“ Hey,” Mia spoke quietly, rubbing his arm, “Speaking of mothers, Benji’s mother is a sweetheart!” Victor brightened, “OMG, she totally is, Mia! She is so sweet. When I walked out of my house last week, I was a wreck. And she just wrapped her arms around me, and I just …” Mia smiled, “ I love that she had to come with you today, and check to make sure you were going to be OK.”

“ She mentioned that you and Benji were working on your music together. I can’t wait. You know you can use my piano, too? When will we get a chance to hear it?” Victor nodded, “Yeah, he’s letting me keep one of the guitars at your house so I can practice, but don’t worry, he’ll be around! “ Mia stepped back and just looked at him for a moment.”What?” “I’m just very glad you and Benji found one another. He is crazy about you. Victor, I think having you in his life, is just as important to him, as he is to you. ” 

Andrew/Benji

Benji massaged the bridge of his nose, as he and Andrew drove up Buford highway to the Goodwill store. Andrew glanced over, “Rough night?” “Huh? Oh, kind of…I didn’t get enough sleep, now I’m getting a massive headache.” Andrew noticed Benji’s chin tremble as he brushed at his eyes. “Hey, look, Benji. If you need to talk, I promise. It goes no farther. Not to Mia or anyone else. I give you my word. …” Benji looked away, sighed deeply, “Well, it’s just that Victor had an anxiety attack last night, and I wasn’t sure what to do or how to help. It was kind of scary… “ His voice caught, “I know what it’s like to kind of be in a freefall, you know? I just don’t want anything bad to happen….” 

Andrew was uncharacteristically quiet for a while, then, “Look. Victor’s a lot stronger than he realizes. Believe it. I’ve gotten to know him a little bit from playing basketball. He’s got a lot of heart, Benji. He ‘s tough. When things get tight out there in the middle of a game, he never chokes, he steps up. He’s got a good kind of stubbornness. Now the one thing I have seen is his temper. Just once...Man, he came to one of our earliest games and I knew the minute he walked in the locker room, slamming shit around, he was pissed about something. Family trouble, something.”

“ His game was off. I kept telling him to focus, but then the ref made a call and he just...exploded. Man, he cussed at the coach and he just...left. Ran off the court, and out the door. In the middle of the game! I was shocked. I mean, it was an explosion. Now based on what you’re saying, maybe Victor needs to learn how to deal with his emotions, and not to keep things bottled up. Be more upfront about what he’s dealing with, and accept what he’s feeling. It’s like, maybe he puts up with too much shit, bottles everything up, until he explodes in one way or another.”

“ But the other part of that is you, man. You can’t fix Victor. You can comfort him, love him, be supportive, but he has to do the work. Don’t protect him.” Benji blinked back the moisture in his eyes, and nodded, “Oh, I know. I know he has to do the work, and I think he understands that. I was just startled. And honestly, it triggered something for me. I went through a pretty rough time, Andrew. I had to go through the counseling, and all that, so I could learn more about myself, and what I needed to get through it. I have some idea of what Victor’s facing. Not all, but some. Shit. It’s still hard out here for people like me.”

Andrew nodded. “ Tell me about it! You’re talking to a young, African American man... Look. Since we're sharing…” he laughed, ” Let me tell you. My mother was Irish Catholic. Her family threw her out when she married my father. Man, her grandmother helped raise her, and never even knew she had a kid! Now my mother was a pretty strong woman, smart, funny, she stayed positive, but she never really got over losing her family. “

“Then, my father was both physically and emotionally absent. Like, just not around. He has all these college degrees, and he travels the fuckin’ world, but man… anyway, they got divorced, and I stayed with her. But she got cancer, and she died 4 years ago, so I’m with my dad again, but we’re not close... not at all...Mia’s father is great. He really is. If he’s looking out for Victor, it doesn’t get any better. Believe it. I’ve known them since we were in 3rd grade. He’s like my family. “

“We all have a story, Benji. Mia’s mother deserted her family when Mia was twelve. She just...left. Walked out. Felix, man, from what I’ve heard from Mia, his mother has serious mental health issues. Bi-Polar. Poor guy is never sure which mother he’ll see from one day to the next…. and Lake’s a bundle of insecurities. Her mother is not exactly warm and fuzzy. Hey, it’s like...we’re our own support group! “ he laughed. 

Benji smiled and just shook his head, “Well that sure puts things in perspective, man! Thanks! I’m pretty lucky in that respect. My parents have been there for me. They're pretty cool. My father gets wrapped up in his work sometimes, but generally, that part is solid…” “Well I enjoyed meeting your mother this morning. She’s a firecracker!!” Benji laughed, “Yeah, Mama’s a trip. “ Thinking of Sally Anne made him smile. Andrew finished parking, and gave Benji’s arm a squeeze, “Come on, man, they opened 20 minutes ago. Let’s go find some stuff. I’m getting hungry. Once we knock this out, how about stopping at the Pancake House? It’s definitely out of the way, but ...” Benji smiled,”Works for me!” 

When Harold dropped Isabel off, Armando, Pilar and Adrian were walking out to their car. “Well, that was quick!” Armando came over, “Victor did you get everything you need?” “I’m good Papi.” Pilar was impatient! “Look. We’ll see you guys tomorrow. Come on! I should have taken MARTA. I’m gonna be late. It’s almost 1 o’clock!” 

Isabel turned to Harold, “Thank you for everything, Dr. Brooks! See you tomorrow, Victor! You too Mia!”” She smiled and waved as they pulled off. Armando looked at her anxiously, “So, how did it go?” Isabel was thoughtful. “Victor seems happy. He and Mia are so close,” she laughed bitterly, “ … I guess they're like brother and sister...We didn’t get much chance to really talk, but that Dr. Brooks seems like he has everything under control. We’ll see…”


	24. Chipping in...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting the Pool House set up is more than a notion, so all hands on deck,...while Benji spreads some charm and Lake gets flustered...

Lake & Felix were sitting on the patio with a 40 inch smart TV from Best Buy when Andrew and Benji got back. “Felix! Boy, I'm glad you're here. We’re gonna need some help hauling this old armoire to the pool house. “”Hey Andrew, great to see you, too.” Felix was being sarcastic. “I’m sorry man, I’m glad to see you, seriously. But we need help…” Just then Benji rounded the corner, “Hey, Felix!” Benji came over and gave him a “bro hug.” Felix smiled, “Benji, how’s it goin’ ? Victor’s still tied up with his family meeting, I take it?” 

“Yeah they should be back soon, though, because he just texted me from Target. I guess they went shopping for personal stuff…” Lake came over to greet Benji, and gave him a hug as Andrew watched, shaking his head, “See? How come he gets a hug, and you don’t even speak to me, Lake?” Lake cut her eyes, then smiled, “Andrew, I speak to you. But you’re always ready to tease, and sometimes I’m just not there, you know?” 

Benji was standing there, hands on his hips, slowly nodding, first talking to himself, then, “Yeah. Hey. I just thought of something. Do you think we can find some kind of tarp or drop cloth or something? Because if we lay the cabinet on it’s side on the tarp, then maybe the three or four of us can drag it over the grass and down to the pool house. Unless Dr. Brooks has a dolly or something on wheels, which might not work on the grass. I think that might be the easiest way… anyone else have a better idea? Because I’m not carrying that thing any farther than I have to!” 

Andrew thought about it, “Yeah, that might work. ...let me check the garage and see if there’s anything we can use…” Benji walked over to check out the TV set, “Wow. This is nice…” Lake smiled, “We were going to all chip in and get this as a housewarming gift for Victor… it was kind of spur of the moment...Mia and I….” Benji looked over at Felix, “Felix, did you chip in too?” Felix gave him a weak smile, “Well I plan on it…’’ 

Benji raised that one eyebrow, the beginning of a smile teasing the corners of his mouth, “Well hey, if Felix is going to chip in then I’d like to chip in too. Is that OK, Lake? “ “Of course it is! Benji, you’re an angel.” Benji checked. He had about $60 on him, and handed Lake $40. “Are we good?” Lake was wide-eyed.” Thank you! That’s really more than enough, Benji. We got it Open Box.” (That’s a discount.) He shook his head, watching Lake melt under his star-quality smile, “Don’t worry. I may need help one of these days, and I’ll come look for you, OK?” She blushed as she squeezed his hand, “ Of course! “ (Lake is smitten! Totally.)

Andrew found a large padded drop cloth folded on a shelf in the garage. He, Benji and Felix gently slid the cabinet off the bed of the pick up truck, and carefully laid it on the drop cloth they’d spread out. Together the three of them managed to drag it down the slight incline on the lawn and over to the pool house. They set it upright, then slid it across the floor and into the bedroom. It was a little bulky, but it was a good fit. There was still room for the small dresser they’d purchased. Once they got everything set up, Benji grabbed paper towels and a bottle of spray cleaner to wipe everything down. “No point in putting laundry and linens and stuff in here until we make sure it’s clean…” 

Andrew and Felix walked back up to the patio in time to meet Mia and Victor climbing out of her dad’s SUV. Grateful hugs & hellos aside, Victor looked around, anxious, “Where’s Benji?” Andrew pointed Victor towards the pool house as he gulped down a bottle of ice cold water, and Victor was gone. “Benji?” he called out, “In here!” he turned and smiled, “ I’m just….mmmfff!” Victor was all over him, his mouth glued to Benji’s. Benji broke away, “Damn, baby! You OK? .” Victor buried his face in Benji’s hair, his arms crushing the breath out of him.”I am now.“ Benji broke away, just to breathe...and stroked Victor’s cheek,”Was it that bad? …” 

Victor sighed, “I’m just glad it’s over. I got through it. It was all politeness, and everyone was trying to stay positive, but it was tense… Especially with the way my mother was acting. I had knots in my stomach. Like, all week, I’m feeling positive, feeling like a weight’s been lifted off me, and then I go there and it’s like nothing happened and everything is just like it was. As if I stepped back in time and I never came out. Erase the Gay! It never happened...like I said, I got through it.” Victor was wired,his nerves still raw.

Benji kissed him lightly, responding as he resumed his task, “ Well, you said a lot of pretending happens at your house. You can’t change them, Victor. Either they are accepting or they aren’t. You’re Gay. You came out. They know that. They know who you are. You have nothing to prove to them. You’re doing all the things you need to do for Victor. It’s their choice whether or not they come along. It’s frustrating, I know. But they can’t rewrite history.”

“Look, you’re not alone, you have a great support system. We’ve got this… Just make sure you let Dr. Brooks and Dr. Spier know how you’re feeling. And Victor...tomorrow, hopefully, the LGBTQ Association will be out in force, since we’re kicking off that alliance this week…They wanted to show their support for the basketball team and for you....they may even have some signs with your name on them...like...a cheering section...that will be kind of hard for your parents to ignore…”

Benji looked at Victor expectantly, ”Are you OK with that? I mean if you’re not, I’ll see if we can ditch the signs, but…” Victor thought about it for a couple beats, “No, no. Benji! It sounds great! You and Andrew have really stepped up, and it’s going to be good for the whole school. One thing, though. I’m part of a team, right? So would it be asking too much if some of the signs have the names of the rest of the team?” Benji smiled, “ Well, they kind wanted to recognize you for coming out, but I think we can do both. I’ll get on that right away…” He started texting.

“ Now. Tell me how you like your furniture.” Victor walked over to examine the cabinet and the dresser carefully. “Very nice…Benji, you bought this for me?” Benji nuzzled him, “No, my Mother did. She adores you! “ Victor rubbed his cheek against Benji’s stubble, “….Damn. There’s a lot of stuff! Between you and Mia, and Lake and Felix, I’ve got all these boxes, plus what I picked up at my parents’ house this morning.” 

At that moment Dr. Brooks called out to them, “Hey guys, can I come in?” Victor walked into the small living room/sitting area. It was cluttered with boxes and bags. “Hey Dr. Brooks! What do you think? Andrew and Benji found some great stuff at Goodwill this morning, and I have a ton of stuff here to sort through from Benji’s mother and Mia …” Harold smiled, “Well, looks like you have your work cut out for you. How about you guys take a break and Victor, you and I need to sit down for a minute, OK?” Benji smiled, “Sounds great. I need a break! I’m a musician, I’m not used to all this manual labor !” he joked.


	25. I Asked For You...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Harold Brooks has a private counseling session with a very agitated Victor, as they review what happened during his first home visit. And Harold ponders before he makes a decision about Benji and Victor...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Brooks begins to get some insights and understanding into how Victor reacts to his parents, and offers him some important home truths.  
> And if you get the impression Dr.Brooks is keeping an eye on Benji and the relationship he and Victor have...you'd be right...

Harold put his arm around Benji’s shoulder, as the three of them walked back to the house, “ Benji, your mother asked me to let Victor come over tonight so you can all go to church together tomorrow before the game. Look. It’s really important for Victor to get settled here, so I have to admit, I was reluctant to say yes, ...until I saw the mess in Victor’s apartment. Now, I’m leaning toward yes. How about the three of us have dinner together later on, and I’ll be able to give you an answer by then, will that work?” Benji smiled up at him, “Sure, Dr. Brooks. Hopefully we can help Victor knock out most of this today. Not everything in those boxes is going to be useful. It looks worse than it is…” 

Benji joined Andrew, Felix & the girls in the kitchen, while Victor and Harold sat in his study talking about their morning. “So, how are you feeling Victor?” He noticed Victor’s restless leg, his fingers drumming the desk. Clearly he was agitated.’”Well I don’t want to seem hostile or negative, Dr. Brooks, but it was mostly bullshit! Excuse me for cussing.”

“ I feel like I really made a sincere effort. I went there and I wanted them to see that I love them and I’m not angry with them, that I’m still their son, you know? I believe my father made a sincere effort. I know he’s having a hard time accepting me being Gay, but I felt like he was sincere. I can work with that. But my mother ? Man,I felt like she was pretty insulting. When she called Benji “that Gay kid” I almost lost it. Then she starts talking about cutting back on my social life and my job...I mean… ” 

Harold smiled. “I know. I caught that. I was pretty impressed with how you held it together. You even reached out later and invited her to come shopping. I don’t think you’re being hostile or negative. I want you to be honest, and if that’s how you feel, there’s no judgement from me. Aside from that comment, what exactly makes you feel like it was... bullshit?” Victor smiled at the way Harold used the word. It didn’t seem like cussing when he said it.

”Well, you know, coming out was a huge deal for me. I agonized over it and thought about it for months...really, more like years...and when I finally stood up for myself, I felt so much relief! Sure, I’m hurt about my family’s reaction, but I actually feel pretty good about what I’ve done. I don’t regret it at all. And this week things have been pretty good. I’ve got support, and honestly, Benji’s parents are just awesome…They welcomed me with open arms. I can’t even describe it, I almost felt...normal,” Victor’s voice quavered as he said this last part, “ But then…I had to deal with going back home, and it literally made me feel sick.”

“ I felt like they erased the whole week starting with last Sunday. It didn’t happen, and nothing has changed. Even the meal was the same! They’re just pretending everything is the way it used to be. We didn’t even try to talk about me coming out, or their feelings about me being Gay. My whole world has been changed. But their world is just the same. It hasn’t changed a bit, and when they see me, they’re just the same, and they expect me to act the same….I can’t go back, and it seems like they can’t move forward. It’s pretty obvious they don’t feel comfortable talking about it.”

“ I guess I’m glad you and Mia were there, because I’m pretty sure things wouldn’t have been so polite if it was just me alone with them. I know we have to deal with these meetings every week, I just don’t want to do anymore pancake breakfasts for a while. And I want to spend more time with my brother and my sister away from them. That’s how I’m feeling right now. Maybe I‘ll change my mind, but I can’t play games. I’m not pretending anymore. Never again. ”

Harold was quiet for a few minutes. He made a couple short notes on his legal pad, then, ” I hear you. I guess I’m just not sure what your expectations were, Victor. You know, sometimes, when something happens, and people can’t get their head around it, they pretend it didn’t happen. It’s a defense mechanism. Kids do it all the time.”

“ Maybe it’s hard to see, but your parents’ whole world has changed, too. There’s a big hole in it where you used to be. They feel it very keenly, and they’re trying to hang on to the parts that are familiar, trying to make things “normal” again in that world. I’m glad Benji’s parents wrapped their arms around you. But, I’m thinking...your parents have a ton of baggage to overcome. My guess is they come from an entirely different world, a different life experience than Benji’s parents do.” 

“It’s been a week since you presented them with this news.They have a whole lot to work through.They may never fully get there. That’s on them. You can’t change them. They have to want change. All you can do is learn how to protect yourself from the things that are harmful and hurtful, limit your exposure when you can. You can only control your end, and how you want to respond to them. And Dr. Spier and I are going to help you with that.”

“ Right now you have every right to feel angry. These are the two most important people in your life. For 16 years you depended on their approval. You trusted them to protect you. And you relied on their judgement and the lessons they taught you. And now, you’ve made the biggest, most important decision of your life...and they do not approve. In fact, their first reaction was hostile, and now they seem to act like it never happened.”

“ The needling and insults are unacceptable. Actually, that was pretty damned childish. But can I make a few observations of my own? Because I got the impression you were bending over backwards to reassure them. Making the pancakes, bussing the table, etc. Those are small things, and maybe they’re just good habits, part of who you are. I bet in the past, you’ve been a big help to your parents. But without meaning to, you actually helped reinforce their ability to pretend everything is the same, that you seem the same. Either consciously or unconsciously, I think that’s what you wanted. To show them you’re still Victor. “

“And that’s not all bad. You were showing them that you still love them. You were making a good faith effort to reach out to them. But can I offer you some advice? Stop trying so hard. Because it may lead them to believe maybe you feel guilty about what you’ve done, and you regret it, when actually you feel the exact opposite. When you reached out to your mother, even after her completely unacceptable comment, she & your father could easily read that as you giving her permission to act out like that, because there are no consequences. Almost as if you’re saying it’s OK for them to mistreat you. I’m not criticizing you for reaching out. Far from it. In fact it takes a strong person to be that generous. I’m pretty impressed. “

“ But they know who you are, Victor. They know you still love them. You don't have to prove anything to them. C’mon, man! You don’t go from being your mother’s “rock” to some crazy stranger in the blink of an eye. You’re a good person. You have a good heart, so protect it. They’d feel better if you acted apologetic. Don’t give them that. Never apologize for who you are. The trick is to be accessible to them when they make progress, and protect yourself when they act badly. It’s a balancing act. But don’t ever let them off the hook.”

“ In some ways cutting people off altogether is a lot easier than the reconciliation process. Not everyone is emotionally strong enough or mature enough to handle it. It’s not an easy path. And when the other side doesn’t respond, we sometimes blame ourselves instead of letting them accept ownership for their own failures. You can’t fix them. They have to fix themselves, Victor. And if they don’t respond the way you want them to after all your effort, you can’t afford to carry the weight of their failures, and beat yourself up, and get all angry,OK? Because you end up directing some of that anger at yourself, and that’s no good, man. ” 

“ I’m not trying to be harsh with you. You really are a good guy. It’s hardwired into you. I can see it. I get why Mia and everybody else feels so close to you. But you are not going to be accepted by everyone.You know that. And you're not going to get everyone’s approval. Don’t ever feel bad about doing the right thing. Those good feelings and the relief you felt, hang on to that.” Harold’s words had the effect of balm on a wound.

“One more thing. You’re 16. Some of this is not about being Gay, it’s about growing pains. You’re not their little boy anymore. You’re on the brink of manhood. That can set up a real source of conflict between parents and their kids. It’s a big adjustment to make. And honestly, some parents never get there. Man, one day, you could win a Nobel Prize, and your Mama or your Daddy will still find something to complain about. “ Harold laughed as he said it and finally got a smile out of Victor who had been studying his shoes for the past ten minutes. 

“ Now, I’m going to see what I can do to help you with some of these things, like spending more time with you brother and sister. We can make that happen, and we’ll definitely try another set up for our next visit, OK? Right now, you need to do what feels right for you. Are we good?” 

Victor sat there taking it all in. His leg had stopped jumping. He still seemed a bit wired, but better. Finally, “Thanks, Dr. Brooks. You’ve really given me a lot to think about. I guess, basically, you’re saying I need to toughen up a little. “ ” Look, Victor. You and I are going to see a lot of one another. You live here now. You’re here with me because I asked for you. If you need me, you call me. And if your situation in the pool house isn’t working out for you, let me know. That was Mia’s idea.”

“ This is all new to you. I get that. But I want you to feel comfortable. And I want you to know that we are very happy to have you here, OK? Now. It might be a good idea if you spend a little time trying to get your apartment into something resembling good order?” Victor smiled, “Thanks, Dr. Brooks. Yeah. Let me get out here and see what I can do.” He put his hand out to shake Harold’s, and was surprised when he got a bro hug instead. It felt good.


	26. Dr. Brooks' Research Continues...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Victor and Benji finish setting up Victor's apartment, they go to dinner with Dr. Brooks, who reluctantly agrees to let Victor spend one more night with Benji. ...so they can all go to church together...Right. This does give him a chance to get a peek into the home life of the Campbells, and get to know Benji better. He's interested in discovering everything he can about the world Victor inhabits, and how to help him navigate his way through.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Brooks needs to satisfy his curiosity about Benji. He wants to know more about the young man Victor is clearly smitten with. Letting Victor stay over one more night gives him a chance to check out the Campbells, too. Of course Sally Anne makes it clear in her subtle Southern way, that she fully expects that this is definitely not Victor's last visit....

Victor found Benji and Felix hooking up the TV set, programming the remote, while Mia and Lake were rummaging through boxes, trying to set up the small kitchen area, and arrange the cabinets. “Let’s start making a list of things you still need, Victor,” Lake was in take charge mode, ”You have lots of sheets but none for a double bed...and you need a small area rug in this bathroom, and a mat for when you get out of the shower. And you have no food and no pillows…” 

Victor looked at Mia and Benji and smiled, “Looks like we need to make another trip to the store. Look, guys, I am so grateful for everything you’ve done. The TV is awesome, and all this stuff, the furniture, everything. “ His voice trembled a little. Victor was still feeling emotional, “Look. I’m not totally broke. If I need anything else I’ll pay for it, or do without it. You guys have done so much already...I’m ...I just have no words…” He rubbed “something” from his eyes.

Mia shook her head, “Victor if any one of us needed you, you’d be right there for us. This is not a problem, OK.? Andrew is out with some friends, but I can go with you to pick up what you need. I mean, we can all go…” Felix and Lake exchange a look, ”I think we’re going to pass. I’m not much of a shopper, and Best Buy filled my quote for today. Lake and I have some things to do this afternoon if that’s OK?” 

Victor gave him a hug, “Man, with so much going on we hardly get any time together! “ Felix laughed, “Look, I mean, maybe we’ll try to stop back by in a few hours,...OK?” Benji rescued the situation, “I think they’d like some alone time, Victor…” he mussed Victor’s hair affectionately. Mia’s father gave her the keys and admonished them to “be careful and pay attention to the other drivers, “Nobody in Georgia knows how to drive…” and they were off to the Super Target in Toco Hills. 

When they got back & finished unloading the car, Mia excused herself, “OK, well, I’ll leave you to it. I’m going back to the house. Text me if you need anything, OK?” Benji & Victor started unpacking clothes and personal items, filling the dresser and the new cabinet. They picked up a few basics for the pantry and the fridge at the grocery store on the way back, too. “OK, Mia. Thanks. “ Victor walked her to the door, gave her a hug, then made a beeline for the bedroom where Benji was carefully stacking Isabel’s neatly folded T-shirts and sweaters on a shelf in the armoire.

He slid his arms around Benji and backed him up to the unmade bed. “I can’t wait for you to spend the night here!,” Victor seemed happier than he had been all day! Benji broke their kiss, “ I’ve been thinking about you all damn day, Victor,” he rubbed a stubbled cheek against Victor’s, “ Do you think he’ll let you stay over tonight?....” 

Victor’s mouth was too busy to answer, “ Victor, you are not leaving marks on my neck and we’re about to go to dinner with Dr. Brooks in a little while.….c’mon now...do you want him to say yes or what…” Victor sighed, “I love kissing you! “ Benji closed his eyes and smiled, “ Mmm,hmm...I love everything about you,...But you need to let me up. I have to pee. “ 

Reluctantly, Victor rolled off, and went into the sitting area to check out his new TV. Benji came out and sprawled next to him on the sofa. “Man, I am so wiped out. Felix, Andrew and I had to drag that cabinet from his pick up truck, all the way across the lawn, to get it in here. I’ve been busy since I got here this morning. I need a nap, OK? Or you watch TV or whatever and I’ll just…” Benji pillowed his head on Victor’s thigh, and both of them were asleep before the count of ten. 

They woke in time to freshen up before heading out to Grindhouse, a casual local restaurant chain, for burgers with Dr. Brooks. Harold enjoyed the easy way the two teenagers had with one another, and when Victor told Harold about Benji’s vintage record collection from the 50's and 60’s. Harold’s eyes lit up. He was a fan. He had an almost encyclopedic knowledge of that era, and they talked about blues men and early rock and roll and how one musical genre flowed into another.

He was pleasantly surprised to learn they both played guitar and sang, and Benji actually performed in local coffee houses. Finally, “Well man, I’m not gonna keep you two in suspense, Benji, I spoke to your mother before we left, and let her know that I was OK with Victor spending the night. I’ll be at the game tomorrow, so I’ll catch up with you afterwards, OK? Let's swing by the house so Victor can pick up what he needs, and then I’ll drive you over to Inman Park.” The relief on their faces at the news spoke volumes. 

Sally Anne and Ben Campbell were in the small dining area off the kitchen finishing dinner when Benji let himself in. He wandered back to say hello with Victor & Dr. Brooks in tow. Sally Anne greeted them warmly, “Dr. Brooks, this is my husband, Ben Campbell, “ Harold smiled as they shook hands, “Please, call me Harold. Wow, this is a great place you have. Very good bones. Did you do all the renovations yourself?” She laughed, “ That’s very kind of you to say, Harold, but no, we contracted most of it out.” 

Ben interrupted, “ Now I did manage to steam the wallpaper off in the dining room...Look,if you're interested in Bio Tech, I’m your man, but honestly, when the plumbing contractor was here, he asked me to shut the water off, and hell if I knew where the valve was to do that…” he laughed easily, ” but yes, our architect told us the house has very good bones. In fact, we won second prize in the Inman Park Home Tour /Neighborhood Art Festival a couple years ago. Have you ever been? It’s great fun!” 

Harold nodded in understanding, “ Wow, I’ve heard about the Inman Park festival, but I’ve never been. I was fortunate with our place because it was fairly new when we bought it, so I was able to dodge all that mess…’’ “Well I’d be happy to give you the five minute tour… if you have the time.” Ben offered. “Sure. I’d like that! “ Sally Anne suddenly noticed Victor and Benji,”Well hello stranger! So nice to see you! Now, why don’t you carry your backpack upstairs, Victor, and you can help Benji. I want the two of you to pick up that room so Dr. Brooks can see where you’ll stay when you visit us…”

Beds quickly made, bathroom wiped down, and towels tossed in the hamper, Benji sprayed a quick shot of air freshener and put the fan on, while Victor checked the porch to straighten out the cushions and make it presentable. “Now, this 3rd floor was pretty much wasted attic space that we renovated as a gift to Benji, “ his father explained,” After his car accident we wanted to create a space for him to pursue his interests, and it’s pretty much Benji’s sanctuary…”

Harold was duly impressed, “ Man, you pretty much have it all, Benji! This is great. Art studio, music studio, just about everything you need up here. Very nice.“ He walked over to examine the guitars and the synthesizer then gravitated to the vintage record collection. Harold was beginning to get a clearer picture of who Benji Campbell was, and he liked what he had learned so far. 

They all ended up on the front porch with Harold, Ben and Sally Anne sipping wine. By the time the talk turned to Ben Campbell’s work, the two boys had said their good nights and left. Harold was describing his own challenges running a university, and Ben shared that he & his partners were setting up an internship program at their company and hoped to eventually tie into high school STEM Programs. “We’re still in the early stages, but we’re interested in educating and training the next generation. In fact, I was thinking of Victor. I know the boys enjoy being baristas, but summer’s coming and I was thinking of offering Victor a part time job working at our company… of course it’s up to him, and only if you and his parents agree, but he seems interested in what we’re doing.”

“ Benji did some great work for us working with the Business center at the university. I was hoping to get him into that part time. It’s less than a half mile away from where our Lab and offices are, so I was thinking he might enjoy it. I haven’t said anything yet, but college isn’t far off and I wanted to help guide him into doing something to strengthen his possibilities…” Harold was fully on board. He smiled, “I like it. I’d like to look into it and maybe talk to Victor and his parents, but I like it. “ The evening drew to a close with an invitation for Harold to come by and visit the Lab and offices, and a promise to hook Ben Campbell up with the right people to assist with setting up the internship program.


	27. Dame un Beso....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benji makes a huge decision....is Victor ready for it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we're beginning to realize just how vulnerable Benji is....He's older, he's more experienced, and....completely defeated by his feelings for Victor..... He's obviously anxious about Sunday... already missing the perfect sweetness of the past week....

Victor noticed a subtle change in Benji’s behavior by the time they arrived at the Campbells’. In the kitchen a usually reserved Benji hung back in the doorway after introducing Dr. Brooks, carefully sliding a warm hand under Victor’s shirt, tracing the lines of his spine. Victor tried to ignore it, but failed... he was in full blush mode, as Sally Anne suggested they go up and straighten out the studio...and there was something about the way Benj was moving….yeah...the almost-swagger, self-assured, subtle, distracting.

In the bedroom, he tried to corner him, impulsively moving in for a kiss...but Benji gently pushed him off, and focused on making beds and straightening out their space….he seemed preoccupied. Distant. His mixed signals were throwing Victor off balance...later, on the front porch, Benji, eyes half closed, perched on the railing at the farthest end of the porch, leaning his head against the porch column. 

Victor, sitting at the other end, was so distracted watching him rub his thighs, - an open invitation he was anxious to accept….that he didn’t even hear Dr. Brooks, until Benji, who seemed to be ignoring him, looked his way, raising that eyebrow. He rescued himself, smiling, projecting a calm he didn’t feel, “Sorry, I was looking at Benji, he looks like he’s gonna fall over, sleeping on his feet…” He laughed. Right.

Benji stood and smiled, “Yeah, I am kind of wiped out. It’s been a busy day. If it’s OK, I’m going to excuse myself, and say goodnight...Thanks for dinner, Dr. Brooks..” He kissed his parents, and quickly squeezed Victor’s shoulder as he moved past him. Victor was torn between running after Benji and staying put. He decided staying put was the wisest even if less attractive path to take, and so for a little while, he answered some general questions about what he thought of Creekwood and his teachers. When talk turned to tomorrow’s game, he finally saw his opening, “Guess I ought to call it a night, too...” 

Benji was out on the back porch in the candlelight with his guitar, pretending to concentrate on finding the right chords to a classic rock ballad. Victor watched quietly from the doorway….until finally, without looking up, Benji sighed deeply, and set the guitar aside. “You took long enough... “ Victor shook his head, “Right. I should have jumped up and ran after you. It’s not even ten o’clock...” he offered. 

He walked out and pulled a cushion over to sit on, facing Benji. ” Is something bothering you, Benji? Come on...talk to me…” He brushed the hair off of Benji’s forehead, stroked his cheek. Benji finally looked at him, almost embarrassed, “I’m just tired, Victor,” he whispered, “ and I want to go to bed…. With you. That’s all… Told you...I’ve been thinking about it all damned day...this wanting...this is something new for me ...OK?” ... “Me, too…”

Victor slid a hand behind his neck pulling him close, fitting his mouth onto Benji’s, stealing his breath. They stood up, undressing one another there on the porch and fusing together in the dark. His hands moved under Benji’s t-shirt, mapping the geography of his abs, the muscles on his back, his hips, the warm flesh seemed to radiate a kind of energy. 

“Come here, babe.” Benji sat down on the edge of the loveseat, “Now, put your knee up here. Move closer,... let me have a taste…” Benji’s hands stroked Victor’s thighs, nudging his leg up so that he balanced one foot on the edge of the love seat. Benji cupped his buttocks, then took the tip of Victor’s cock in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, trailing up and down the shaft, finally burying his face in the springy pubic hair, inhaling his scent. 

Victor gasped when Benji’s head dipped between his thighs, licking his scrotum. He traced the narrow region in back with his fingers, then began gently massaging his anus. “Are you playing with my ass, Benji?” his voice was hoarse. “You want me to stop? ..” he whispered, “ Because this is gonna to turn into something more than playing…” 

Benji looked up, one hand gently pumping his cock, while his fingers continued to work. Victor was breathless,”,...don’t stop…” Benji’s mouth lingered on his shaft for a while, then broke away. It was clear they needed to slow down. “We better take this inside….” They gathered their clothes and headed in to bed, with Benji making a quick detour to the bathroom.

They lay facing one another in the dark, Benji’s breath quickening, Victor’s hand caressing his cheek, “I think I know where this is going….” he whispered…” “ Isn’t this what you want, Victor?” “Only if you do, too…I’m ready… but let’s just take our time, can we? ” he breathed, “...I love making out with you…”His mouth covered Benji’s, ...slow nibbling kisses, “You know, ..your lips will be all swollen and puffy in the morning…” “I don’t care…” he moved closer, “I love the way you feel… the way you touch me…”

Finally, Benji gently pushed him on his back, ” Move your leg ...yeah...tell me… do you like this....?” “Mmm,...” “Hold on…” He reached over for the tube of lube, smearing some on his fingers, then roaming down to coat Victor’s anus..” this time I’m going to slide two fingers in your ass. I’ll do it real easy....tell me if it bothers you, ok?” Benji knelt between Victor’s legs, “Just relax, Victor, breathe ...,” he took Victor’s dick in his mouth with a light teasing touch, as his fingers increased their pressure on his ass. He worked them in and found the small squishy bulge of his prostate, gently sucking cock while he massaged as Victor moaned softly, giving himself up to the feeling.

Gradually, Benji slid his fingers out, moved up to lick his navel, then, sitting back on his heels, looking down at Victor, “ You see what I have here? You sure you want to do this?” He was stroking himself. Victor reached for him with a soft smile,“ look at you, with your hair all flopped in your eyes….if this is what sin looks like,... I want it all,...” he scooched up to an almost sitting position, then leaned over to reach for the condom he’d noticed sitting on the nightstand, ” want some help with this?”

“He ripped the packet open, sliding the condom out, then covered Benji’s cock with his mouth first, massaging his shaft with his tongue, letting the tip toy with his prick, until finally, he broke away, then rolled the condom down snug. “How do you want to do this?” he asked. “How about,… just sort of lay on your belly, ....good. Now you don’t have to lift your ass up too much, I need body contact. I want to cover you, OK? ...We’ve done this before…” “Yeah but you weren’t getting ready to fuck me before…” Benji laughed,” through no fault of yours, my love…If you want to, just draw your knees up a little, and get comfortable, babe…” He ran his hands along Victor’s rib cage and squeezed his ass cheeks

” Perfect….now, Victor,” He whispered, “You need to tell me if it hurts or you’re too uncomfortable….we’re gonna go slow....” He guided his sheathed dick, slick with lube, to Victor’s anus and nuzzled it, pushing gently, gradually increasing the pressure. When the head was in, he leaned down and nipped Victor’s ear, “Are you OK?” Victor had tensed up unconsciously. Benji pushed in a little further, ”Just breath, baby, just feel it. Don’t fight it, just go with it, OK? You’re so tight…” 

Victor exhaled, ”I’m ok...it feels.. strange...but not painful...give me more…” Benji rested his cheek on Victor’s shoulder, in the crook of his neck, ”Greedy for it, are you?” “Hell yes...take it slow, but yeah. Greedy…” Benji pushed in deeper, then withdrew a little, then deeper again, until he finally began a slow, deliberate rhythm, his hips moving in loose, fluid strokes, savoring every thrust… He adjusted the angle until Victor moaned, ”Yeah, oh, God, yeah, don’t stop, oh damn, Benji …” They were in the zone. 

Smoothly, he shifted from a shallow fuck to moving slower and deeper, finally, a tight grind, working his hips faster, trying not to put too much weight on Victor’s back, yet craving contact, gasping at the wonder of it, as Victor responded, lifting to take more of him, going with him. He balanced on his elbows, covering Victor, breathing as hard as a long distance runner, again nipping his ear, “ You feel so good, so tight,... perfect, ... Oh, baby!... I’m sorry...I can’t… hold it back…” he let himself go, releasing, shuddering in a powerful orgasm ….with Victor a minute behind him. 

One more deep thrust, and he slid out, his belly slick with sweat, easily sliding the condom off, cupping one hand under it to catch any leaks. He got up on trembling legs and into the bathroom to discard the used condom and clean himself, then brought a warm, soapy washcloth to Victor, “Here, turn over, let’s clean up…” Victor lay there, feeling weak, almost dazed, eyes closed, catching his breath, as Benji gently wiped off his belly and his slowly shrinking cock, working his way back to Victor’s ass. The wet, warm washcloth felt good.

Benji examined him closely, I don’t see any blood…” Victor’s eyes opened, “What?” “Calm down, sometimes, until you get used to it, there’s a small amount of blood, usually around the anus….nothing to worry about, but you might be a little sore… how do you feel?….” Victor closed his eyes, smiled devilishly, “ I just had sex with a boy...and I loved it! .... I feel…I can’t even describe it..” Benji cleaned Victor’s goo off the bed sheet, “I think maybe lets move to the other bed? Let this dry? I’ll set the alarm for 8:20, OK?” 

All of a sudden Benji seemed to not want to look at Victor. They got into bed, and Victor reached for him, “Hey, what’s up?” He saw tears streaming down Benji’s cheeks, “Oh, baby, talk to me! What’s going on?” Benji shook his head, “ I just,... I’m feeling really emotional...I wanted this first time to be perfect for you....I just… “ “Benji, Oh my god, it was. It was perfect! Perfect for us! I told you. Wherever it happened or whenever, it would be perfect, because it would be with you.” Then, to lighten the mood, “ I wish it would’ve lasted longer...but we can work on that…”

He wrapped his arms around Benji who was still overcome, tangling his fingers in Benji’s hair. “Victor, I’ve never been like this with anyone! I know. People say things like that all the time...But it’s true for me. I don’t know how else to say it. I mean...fucking is fucking. I know about fucking. It always feels good while you’re doing it, and sometimes, it’s erotic as hell, but it was never like this. It’s like...when you and I are together, it comes from a different place. It’s pure emotion. You're spontaneous. Nothing fake or mechanical in you. You pay attention to me. I love the way we are together, ..and God help me,” he sighed, ” but I just couldn’t hold out any longer...” Benji swiped at his tears, and laughed softly,” You have a sweet ass, Victor, ...and you make me crazy!” Victor smiled, “ ….I’m looking forward to making you crazy for a very long time…”

They settled into bed wrapped around one another, wanting to talk until they came down from the rush they still felt. He closed his eyes and kissed the palm of Victor’s hand, “ Tomorrow everything’s going to change for you, Victor.” Benji’s voice was still clogged up with emotion. “You’ll be out. Not just to your parents and a few close friends, or to people who may notice us at lunch together. With the game and everything...it’s like… your world is going to get bigger…. And there’s a possibility…maybe not at first...but you and I will be pulled in so many directions,. .. I guess I’m going to miss what we have right now…” 

“You’ll be like a kid in a candy store….lots of guys will want to get with you and …that’s not a bad thing...this is all so new to you...” He seemed to be talking to himself, babbling really, rationalizing a non-existent situation. Victor smiled, dismissing his worries, “Yeah, I know...it'll be just like Brasstown, only bigger..” he was being sarcastic…”.Benji, guys are always hitting on me, just like they’re always hitting on you. At work, I had to keep telling them I was straight, I had a girlfriend. They didn’t believe me.” he laughed. “I was going crazy, I was crushing so, so hard on you, and trying to convince these guys, “Oh, I’m straight...I have a girlfriend…Right. ”

Wide-eyed, Benji finally laughed a little, “Yeah… Remember that one group, there were three or four guys, regulars? They kept asking me about you. I sort of hung out with them a couple times at house parties...Derrick didn’t like them...said they were too immature… anyway, they kept teasing me, asking if we had hooked up yet, and I told them you were straight and you had a girlfriend...One guy laughed in my face, and said, " ‘poor girlfriend!’ “

Benji’s eyes lit up as he recalled the exchange, “He said, sugar, that ass has your name on it!” Victor laughed, “Yeah, yeah, that was probably Justin, … he was on a mission to get us together! …” Benji finally seemed calmer. He just shook his head, “I should have paid more attention to them...I guess I was scared you’d reject me, hurt my feelings, and I wanted us to keep being friends.” Victor sighed, “Look, the point is, no matter how much bigger our world gets, you’re the center of it for me…. No one else even comes close...” 

Benji grew serious, “Just promise me...let’s try to always be honest with one another, OK?” “Absolutely….no lies, no secrets….” “But Victor, that also means if either one of us starts losing interest...we have to be up front….,OK?” Victor grew quiet, ” Look. Maybe I won’t be enough for you. I’m boring....I can see that more than me ever walking away from you...when I look at what we’ve got...Benji, you’re all I want…so please, please stop worrying about all this random stuff. ..I mean, I just lost my virginity! Can we just enjoy it! ” He laughed, then, ..he took Benji’s face in his hands, “.Hey...dame un beso...” Victor was surprised to hear Benji 's answer, in perfect Spanish, “puedes tener todos mis besos…”


	28. Amazing Grace.....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor 's stunned by what he discovers at the Campbells' church, and he and Benji are hit with a proposal at brunch that could be life changing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The possibilities seem endless as Victor's life after coming out begins to take shape; lots of choices, lots of possibilities.....lots of Benji.....

Benji wasn’t sure what woke him, He felt groggy but rested, checked the alarm, and groaned. It was only 7: 40. He was alone in bed. He got up and wandered out to the porch. The sky was clear and it promised to be a sunny, warm spring morning. He heard the toilet flush and wandered over to the bathroom door, “Victor? Are you OK?” “Yeah...don’t come in here…” “I won’t…” “I’m fine…” Benji smiled, “Hey, the air freshner’s under the sink, OK?” “Stop laughing, Benji…” “I’m not laughing.” “ You were going to.” Benji did start laughing, “ I’m going to run downstairs to the second floor. I’ll just use that bathroom, OK? “ “Fine… I’m fine…”

Victor was coming out of the shower when Benji got back, “I cut the fan on too, but we should probably let it air out. I forgot you have a bedroom on the second floor….” Benji smiled. “Victor, you had to take a crap. Sometimes it happens. It’s no big deal, just be glad it happened afterwards, OK? How are you feeling this morning?” Victor just shook his head, “Actually, I feel pretty good...just a little twinge.” 

He was feeling mischievous, “.We just need more practice...how much time do we have?” Benji, whose arms automatically wrapped around him, “Not really enough time to get laid…but I’m impressed by your enthusiasm....” Victor smiled, pulling Benji back toward the bed, “Come,..I’ll show you how enthusiastic I am, and you can show me how impressed you are…”

Sally Anne & Ben Campbell were already downstairs nursing their second cup of coffee when Benji & Victor came down dressed and ready to go at 9:20. Traffic was pretty light and they made it with time to spare. Victor was surprised to see several Gay couples, some with small children in the congregation. The service was very similar to the Catholic service he was used to, and the crowd was a diverse group that seemed genuinely friendly and welcoming. 

Afterwards, as the Campbells visited with friends, Deacon Paul made a beeline for the two boys, “Benji!!! Long time no see!!! ” Benji gave Paul a hug, “Hey, man, how are you? Last time I saw you, you were getting ready to travel.” Paul beamed, “Yeah, I did. I went to Haiti for the mission and it was really a great experience….but that was a while ago. Has it been that long? OMG! I need to bring you up to speed, I’m engaged! He’s over there, his name is Matt!”

Paul turned his attention to Victor, “And who is this?” “Oh, hi, I’m Victor Salazar, Deacon Paul…” He laughed, “Just Paul, Victor, ignore my name tag,...and you are obviously the reason Benji is standing here grinning like a fool! OK, spill it, Benji.” Benji blushed and gave Victor’s shoulders a squeeze, “What?” He teased,” Victor is my boyfriend...and yes, I’m crazy about him!” Victor laughed too, “ What he said!” The three of them were joined by a slender red-head with blindingly blue eyes, “This is Matt!” Paul proclaimed with a quick hug and kiss... right there on the steps of church, in broad daylight, and OMG, Victor thought he would swoon. 

“So, Salazar..Latino? “ Victor smiled, “Actually, my mother’s family is from Mexico, my father’s family is Colombian, so yeah…we just moved here to Atlanta from Texas a few months ago. “ Do you speak Spanish? Reason I ask is because I’m desperate for some Spanish speaking counselors and instructors for our summer day camp for kids. A lot of them are from refugee families and we’re working with them to help them adapt. So if you are bi-lingual or you know anyone who is, we could really use some help. ”

“ In fact,” He looked pointedly at Benji, ”I could use some help in general with the summer camp...setting up an arts curriculum, music, theatre (cough, cough) yes Benji, that was a hint…” Matt laughed, turning to Victor and Benji, “ you’ve gotta watch this guy or he will take over your life. You turn around one day and you’re in Haiti or Costa Rica, and you wonder how you got there…” There was obviously deep affection between the two men.

Eventually, Sally Anne rescued them, “Paul, how are you, sugar! Hey, Matt! You know, you all will stand here chattering all day, but we have a brunch reservation, and then there's a championship basketball game for their high school. This is the regionals and we have the star player right here. We have to deliver Victor on time!” She laughed. Benji and Victor said their goodbyes, assuring Paul they would be interested in helping if they could. 

As they drove over to Haven’s, Victor saw that his mother had texted several times. She wanted to know if they could see him before the game, maybe eat together. He texted back that he had just left church and was on his way to brunch with friends. He said he looked forward to seeing everyone at the game.   
At brunch they talked briefly about Victor’s church experience. “I have never seen anything like that. Gay deacon, Gay families, there’s nothing like it in Graham, Texas!” 

“Well, Victor, my family, what’s left of them, we’re from Louisiana,” Sally Anne explained,” and I was raised Catholic, too...along with a lot of other superstitious nonsense the old folks used to ‘put in the pot.’ But then I came to Georgia to go to Georgia State, and that’s where I met Ben Campbell. His family were conservative.Baptists. But he wasn’t thinking about religion too much. We eventually got involved with this church a few years ago, because we like the way they engaged the community.” 

Ben Campbell smiled. “You know what I learned to love about going to church? It doesn’t matter whether you’re particularly religious or not. You can still have a spiritual experience. I know that might sound crazy, but for me, church is where a whole community of folks come together, and they’re filled with hope and gratitude. For an hour or two, everyone just stops what they're doing, and they think about their lives, and their purpose, and they think of others, because you don’t come to Mass to be alone. There’s just a very positive vibe I get from a community coming together in a spirit of goodwill, wishing one another well.” 

Sally Anne squeezed his hand, “ There are some mighty good people there, and they were very kind and helpful to Benji, and that’s all I needed to know, “ She laughed. Benji agreed, “ there are some decent people there. Paul is a critical care nurse at Piedmont….” “And did you know Matt is an ER doctor?” Sally Anne chimed in, “ Paul wants me to help them find a place to live… He’s a sweetheart!” Benji smiled, “Victor, Mama somehow manages to keep up with all the news...sometimes she seems like she’s not paying attention? But she is….” 

Ben Campbell grew serious, “ while I have you both here, I wondered if we might talk about summer plans? I know you love your jobs as baristas, and it’s a lot of fun, but I wonder if you might consider part time jobs with the university? The hours are regular, and you’d make more money. You don’t have to necessarily quit your barista jobs, but I know the business center is looking for some help, Benji, and they really enjoyed working with you… and Victor, I’d like you to consider the possibility of working for me over at our lab? ….don’t answer now. I mentioned it very briefly to Dr. Brooks. He seemed to like the idea, but I know it is really up to you, and Benji if you decide you’d rather not, that’s OK? But think about it, OK? “

Victor was stunned, “Mr. Campbell...I don’t even know what to say! You guys have been so great to me! “ His eyes filled with tears. “Of course I’ll look at it….I guess I’d need my parents’ consent too, but maybe Dr. Brooks can help work on that… ” Ben Campbell smiled, “ Well he said he wanted to come by to visit the lab so depending on your schedule maybe you can join him….and check it out. Then, if you like what you see, and Dr. Brooks is comfortable, we can go from there.” 

Benji warmed to the idea,” Does this mean I won’t have to get up at 5:30 in the morning to run to Brasstown to make coffee and defrost the scones? “ he laughed. “I was hoping to really make some progress on my art portfolio so I can start applying to colleges. If this helps me with that then I’m definitely open to it.” He turned to Victor, “The Business Center is less than a half mile away from the lab, Victor. You can walk between them easily, they’re both on Emory’s main campus…” “And maybe this will give y’all some extra time to help out with that summer camp for the children, Benji…” Sally Anne reminded them.


	29. Game Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Regional championship game at Creekwood gives the LGBT Association a chance to celebrate Victor coming out, and kick off the anti bullying campaign along with the basketball team. The gym is packed with family and friends including both the Campbells and the Salazars, Dr. Brooks, Dr. Spier and Ms. Albright.
> 
> So sorry this took so long to post. I will be posting one more chapter after this, to wrap up this phase of Victor and Benji's story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andrew startles Victor with some important observations about Benji. The LGBT Association turns out in force celebrating Victor's coming out. Benji's parents are there for the game, and so are the Salazars. Ms. Albright, always our sentinel, keeps a watchful eye on all of them.

Victor was careful not to overeat at brunch, not wanting to induce a food coma that would make him sluggish before the game. He was feeling good, energized, and glad his family was coming. He looked forward to seeing them. When the Campbells dropped the two boys off at 1:30, Benji & Victor noticed Andrew’s pick up coming into the lot, and waited for him. “Hey! You all set?” Andrew called out. Victor gave him a “bro hug,” “I’m looking forward to it. I think we can win this thing!” 

Andrew smiled, “That’s the spirit, Victor. We’ve got a damned good shot. Hey Benji, you think we’ll have a good turnout? “ Benji smiled, “I hope so.” He laughed, “My parents will be here and they never come to games! But I also think the LGBT association has done a pretty good job reaching out. I’m actually impressed with how enthusiastic they’ve been.So we’ll see.”

As they walked toward the locker room, Victor hung back, his arm around Benji’s waist, “What will you do,Benji? I have to go in and get ready…” Benji smiled, “Hey, I’m going to get a paperback for my Lit class out of my locker, and go sit in the gym and read for a while…” that eyebrow went up, “I fell behind in my reading this past week...I was kind of distracted…” Victor kissed him lightly on the lips, “ Wish I could say sorry, but I’m not...” Andrew fake coughed, “Uh, you guys can make out later? Mia and her father will be here in a short while, Benji…” 

Andrew and Victor turned down the empty hallway towards the Gym. Andrew stopped him before they walked in, “ Can I say something to you, man?” Victor looked puzzled, “Sure...what’s up?” Andrew hesitated, then, “ I’m not trying to get into your personal business, Victor, but I just wanted to say something to you about Benji…” “What?...What about Benji?’’ “Now settled down. I like Benji! I just want to share something I’ve sort of picked up on.”

“I think Benji is going to always make sure you’re OK. He ‘s never going to impose, and he won’t make a lot of demands. It’s easy to take somebody like that for granted. Look. This is not a criticism. Not at all. All I’m saying is ... take care with Benji, Victor. I know you’re going through a lot right now, but you want to try to keep your friends and the people who care about you in mind, OK?”

“ Look. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in what’s happening to you, you forget to see about the people in your life, that’s all. I have to struggle with it too. So, pay attention. You know, some people in this world are totally wrapped up in themselves. My own father is like that. They take advantage of people. They do pretty much what they want to do, then make excuses, or say sorry, or gee, I forgot.” 

“You don’t ever want to be that guy. You don’t ever want a relationship with anyone, friends, lovers, whatever, that’s built on apologies and excuses, you know?” Victor studied Andrew as his eyes misted over, “Thank you. Seriously, man. I needed to hear this. Not just about Benji, but all of you… you’ve been ...I don’t even have the words....but I appreciate it more than I can say…” Andrew smiled and whacked him on the back, “C’mon man, let’s go win this game!” 

The gym was filling up, the Creekwood High LGBT Association and their supporters turning out in force, with signs and noisemakers, many of the signs had Victor’s name:”The LGBT Association salutes Victor Salazar! “ or, “Victor Salazar, LGBT’s MVP!” and variations, and of course other fans from both teams came in with their signs, faces painted in the school colors, and raising hell for their side. 

Dr. Spier and Ms Albright arrived together and waved at the Salazars as they pulled into the parking lot. As Isabel, Armando, Adrian, and Pilar got out, Felix and Lake came over and greeted them warmly, “Hey Salazars!!! This is going to be some game!! “ Armando gave Felix a hug, “Hey, man, we haven’t seen much of you all week…” Felix blushed, and Lake rescued him, “Oh, I manage to keep Felix pretty busy Mr. Salazar! “ Felix laughed and Isabel patted Felix’s arm, “ Felix you know you are always welcome in our home, and so are your friends...don’t be a stranger, OK?” 

Benji, his paperback abandoned, kept half an eye on the entrance as he visited with friends, hoping to catch sight of his parents and Mia and her Dad. He was saving seats right up front in the lower risers, but it was getting harder as the visitors’ school buses arrived. Harold and Mia were walking towards the gym when they ran into the Campbells, hugs all around, and Sally Ann asked if they’d like to sit together, “I’d love to, “ Harold laughed.”but I need to spend some time with Victor’s parents, so I’ll catch up with you fine folk in a little while.” Mia spoke up, “I’ll sit with you, Mrs. Campbell! Benji and I can cheer for Victor and Andrew together! “ Eventually Felix and Lake found Benji and Mia, and Dr. Spier and Ms Abright joined Dr. Brooks and the Salazars. 

Pilar was with friends she knew from the Film Club, and as usual, a couple of them were concentrating on shooting video on their phones as people arrived and found seats. Finally, a student announcer called for attention so they could introduce the starting players for each team. Isabel was surprised at the raucous, overly loud cheering that Victor’s name elicited from the crowd. 

Ms. Albright turned to her, smiling brightly, “ Oh, that’s our LGBT Association! They’re showing support for Victor! We’re getting ready to kick off our anti bullying campaign. Andrew & Benji pulled it together. Having the basketball team involved is really a great idea!” Isabel took this in, nodding slowly, deciding to shove aside her discomfort and concentrate on the game. The atmosphere in the gym was electric and Adrian was thrilled as he waved streamers and jumped around. Armando tried unsuccessfully to catch Victor’s eye, then, the national anthem, and tip off! 

The game moved fast in the first half, with early scoring by Andrew, Victor, and a promising sophomore transfer to Creekwood, Kai Leonard. Creekwood took the lead. Victor, energized by the enthusiasm of the fans, was quite the showman, easily making his free throws. He and Andrew were enjoying themselves, and the fans could see they were having fun, as they seriously crushed their opponents. 

At the start of the second half, Coach Ford had them sit out a few minutes to allow their teammates a chance to play. And that’s when their lead evaporated. Both Victor and Andrew, called back into action, fought hard. They made some incredible plays, including Andrew’s 3 pointer from across the court, and the passing between Victor, Andrew and Kai left the Creekwood fans breathless.

But, the second half belonged to the visitors who seem to have found their rhythm. By the final buzzer, Creekwood was down two points. The Creekwood fans, already rowdy, went crazy, defiant, cheering even as their team lost ground. It was an exciting game. Sure, the team was disappointed at the outcome, but they felt good about their performance. Coach Ford was very proud of his guys.

A local TV station was there along with a print reporter/photographer from the local Creekwood Gazette, really a small neighborhood paper, and the school’s own photographer. The LGBT Association was just making their brief Post game presentations to Victor and the team at courtside, when the Salazars and Dr. Brooks made their way over. Coach Ford and Andrew, team captain, flanked Victor, as Benji, the Campbells, and his friends beamed proudly. His teammates, sweaty and exhausted, were grouped beside the LGBT Association. Ms. Albright stood off to the side with Emily Spier, keeping an eye on things... 

The local TV reporter covering the Regionals, asked if Victor had encountered any problems since coming out, “No, not really, nothing I can’t handle,” he responded, “I’m getting so much support! I’m really grateful. When people are there for you, it means everything! Especially Coach Ford and Andrew Spencer and the rest of our team. This is the best group of guys!!! I’m so lucky to be part of this team! “

“The LGBT Association at Creekwood working with us on the anti bullying campaign means a lot, too! Andrew Spencer and Benji Campbell really made this all happen.“ As the reporter walked away, Victor turned, “Where is Benji?” He’d been standing on the fringes of the small group and made his way over to an emotional Victor, who wrapped his arm around Benji’s shoulders and went in for a kiss...recorded by the Creekwood film club!

“You’re all sweaty,” he murmured, ”I can work with that…” Victor smiled, “Hope so! Meet you at Fellini’s?” Benji nodded, “Of course! “ The after party for the team at the popular local pizza place, would include the LGBT group as well as a few friends and families this year. Victor squeezed his hand, “I gotta speak to my parents, then get out of these damp clothes & shower. “ 

Ms. Albright suddenly appeared, took Benji’s arm and walked with him towards where his own parents were waiting off to the side, at the back of the small crowd, taking it all in. “So how are you doing Benji? This alliance you set up with Andrew is just beautiful. You’ve done something important. Are your parents here? I need to say something to them!” Benji laughed, amiably, “They’re right here! Ms. Albright this is Ben and Sally Ann Campbell. Ms. Albright is our Vice Principal. ” 

Ms. Albright enthused, “Your son is a pretty special guy! We just love him. He really did a great job helping to pull this together! It took a lot of patience. He’s quite a diplomat! We couldn’t have done it without him, I just want you to know. “ she gushed. Benji’s father smiled as he shook her hand, “ Yeah, we think Benji’s pretty special, too. We’re very proud of him! We’ve heard a lot about you, too. Benji thinks the world of you, Ms. Albright! “ “ Well, I hope you’ll join us for a little while, come have some pizza? We’re taking the team to Fellini’s and friends and family are invited too!” Sally Ann’s eyes lit up, “Well I guess we can stop in for a little bit...does that work for you, Benji? We’ve been hanging out with you all day! You’re probably sick of us. But, I haven’t had a chance to speak to Victor and I just wanted to let him know how well he played! “ Benji laughed, “Mama, Ms. Albright’s gonna think you have a crush on Victor!” Ms. Albright giggled, “Well, why not? We all do! Victor is a sweetheart.. I’m glad you two have become so close. “ They continued to visit, while some distance away, Victor was having a conversation with his parents. 

Adrian tackled Victor, who scooped him up, “Hey man, did you enjoy the game? “ “Yeah! You got the most cheers!! Wow, Victor, you smell!” Armando and Isabel laughed, “Adrian! You need to speak quietly! You’re announcing this to the world?” Victor came in for a hug, and Isabel kissed him, “I’m not gonna hug you while you're all sweaty, Victor, Adrian may have a point here! “ she laughed. Armando gave him a bear hug, “That’s nothing. C’mere man! I’ve got a hug for you!...but your mother’s right!” 

“So? What did you think?” Victor asked. “ Well that was one hell of an exciting game, mijo! They snatched it at the last minute, but you and your team played your hearts out! It looked like you were having a lot of fun out there! I was proud of you, man! “ Armando was beaming at his eldest son. “But Papi, did you see the little program after the game?” 

Isabel and Armando exchanged uneasy looks, then, she spoke, ”Victor, I was glad the Basketball team is going to be involved with an Anti Bullying campaign. I’m glad you will be able to get that kind of support at school. I can’t find anything to fault with this. We love you. We want you to feel safe.” Victor hugged her, “Thanks, Mami. It means a lot to me that you can say that. So, are you guys going to come to the after party at Fellini’s? “ His parents looked unsure, when Dr. Brooks walked over to join them, “ I hope you’ll stop by for a little while.It’s a fun time...and the Team’s sponsors are hosting it!” “Sure! Why not! Adrian is always ready for pizza,” Armando joked.


	30. All I Have To Do Is Dream...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The final Chapter of Born This Way. This is my own personal version of how I Imagined the first week of Victor's life, once he makes the decision to come out. I have no connection with the TV series, so this is my own version of what could happen in Season two. I hope you enjoyed the journey as much as I have. One thing you can be sure of, this is not the last you will see of my characters. I hope I can share some of the things that happen after this part of their story ends. Pilar, Felix, Lake Mia, Andrew, and of course Victor and Benji, Isabel & Armando, and Sally Anne and Ben will all be back from time to time. I can't let go of them that easily. Sending you all lots of love!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We begin at the team celebration at Fellini's Pizzeria, where Benji and Isabel finally come face to face, and end with Victor facing his first night alone in his new place. This is extra long chapter, but since it is the final chapter for now, there was a lot to cover. 
> 
> I have a feeling we will be checking in on everyone from time to time. The future is laid out in front of them. Lots of paths and lots of choices.

30\. All I Have to Do is Dream…..

Fellini’s pizzeria set up tables on their large outdoor patio as well as the indoor dining space to deal with the team members, their families and friends, and about a dozen people from the LGBT association and Creekwood High staff. The entire restaurant had been reserved, with a simple buffet set up of three different kinds of pizza, tossed salad, and soda.

The team gathered inside at one of the long tables headed by Coach Ford and his assistant athletic director Jerry Walsh. The rest was open seating, so Mia grabbed Lake, Felix, and Benji and a round table for 6 on the patio. Benji’s parents joined them, while, across the room, Emily Spier joined the Salazars hoping to save a place for Ms. Albright, who was busy making the rounds, visiting with guests, making sure everything went smoothly. 

This was an informal, end of season celebration, and of course the most boisterous table in the room was the team table. Isabel craned her neck as she smiled, shaking her head, “Victor’s is one of the loudest voices! You can hear him a mile away! “ Emily smiled, “Yes, looks like he’s having a great time!” Isabel nodded, “I’m glad. He seems...happy….” They looked into each other eyes, “Yes, he does… and very comfortable…” 

Emily squeezed her hand. “Are you doing OK, Isabel?” She hesitated before answering, “I have a lot to think about, Dr. Spier. A lot. We had our first session this week. I’m so glad Armando agreed. I believe it will really help us. You know, we got married so young, and the kids came along so fast, Victor and Pilar, I look around this room, and, sometimes I feel like I never really got a chance to be young, myself! Armando was the eldest, so he was raised to have responsibility. In Middle School, he was a wild kid, but he really settled down once he started working for his father. “ 

Just then, Pilar and Adrian returned juggling several plates filled with pizza & salad, “Here, Mami! Hi, Dr. Spier! This pizza is really good...as long as it doesn’t get cold…” she laughed. “Hello, Pilar! How’s it going?” Pilar smiled,” Everything is mostly good right now. I’m involved with film club at school, and it’s a lot of fun.” she sat Adrian down as she spoke, and fixed him a small plate with salad and a slice of pepperoni. “Wow, that’s great, sweetie! “ “Yeah, you know if it weren’t for Benji, I would’ve still been hiding in my room, feeling miserable. He helped set it up, helped me with the software and everything. “ Dr. Spier nodded, “ Benji is a pretty special guy!” “He really is.” Pilar agreed.

“Do you know Benji?” a surprised Isabel asked. Emily nodded enthusiastically, “I do! He’s a really lovely person. “ Ms. Albright found her chair, and finally took a moment to get off her feet, “Whew! Lots of happy kids at that team table!” She laughed. “You’d never know they lost the game.“ She looked at Isabel,”Your son is a big tease, but he’s a lot of fun,Mrs. Salazar! He and Andrew have been keeping everyone’s spirits up. It’s hard to remember that only a few months ago he was the new kid!” 

Just then Armando and Dr. Brooks returned from the patio area near the front entrance where they’d been having a private conversation. “Sorry to bother you with this here, Harold, “ “Hey, man, you’re no bother at all! Let me look into a couple things, and see if I can get you more information. And make sure to talk to Dwayne at my office about the college admissions stuff, OK? We can get that set up.” 

Isabel looked puzzled, “What’s going on Armando?” He had a teasing smile, “It’s a secret...look, it’s just something I’ve been thinking about. Maybe something I hope we can do together. Let’s talk about it later, OK?” He leaned down and kissed her forehead, “When we get home. Harold just gave me some things to read that he had in his car, and I put them in our car. You’ll see.” 

Pilar stood, ”If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to check in with Mia and the rest of Victor’s crew…” “Me too,” Adrian piped up, “I’m going to hang with Felix and the crew!” His parents laughed and shook their heads, “Yeah, you do that, Adrian… as long as Pilar doesn’t mind! We’ll be getting ready to leave soon, so  
Enjoy!” Armando called out. 

Isabel watched as Pilar joined Mia, Lake, and Felix. When the attractive young man on the other side of the table rose and smiled, Isabel realized it was Benji. Pilar went over and embraced him, and the two of them laughed easily with one another. She also noticed the older couple seated next to him, as he was clearly introducing them to Pilar. The petite blonde woman was also a hugger.

Dr. Spier hadn’t seen the Salazars since their first meeting, and was anxious to know how they were doing. They seemed fragile to her. She only knew Pilar from the admin offices at school, and from what Victor and Ms. Albright told her. She watched her caring for her younger brother and was impressed.  
Emily turned to Isabel and Armando, ”You have such a beautiful family! Three great kids. I can see there’s a lot of love in your house! Victor really is an exceptional young man!” 

Ms. Albright smiled a pleasant, “we’ll see” smile. She was watchful, reserving judgement. Dr. Spier’s comments were sincere, the child psychologist also wanted to boost their self confidence during what was a tough time for the whole family. Isabel and Armando still had a lot of barriers to overcome. Even Dr. Brooks noticed that neither one of them mentioned the Anti-Bullying campaign or the LGBT support for Victor. Harold Brooks, Ms. Albright and Dr. Spier recognized that there were limits to Isabel & Armando’s acceptance, depending on each situation. Baby steps. They were balancing on the edge of a coin. 

When Andrew stood up, it signaled to the rest of the team that they were free to mingle and hang out with their families and friends. He made a b-line for Mia, shook hands with the Campbells, and ruffled Adrian’s hair, “Hey, man, I know you! You’re a Salazar!” earning a thousand watt smile from Adrian. “Aren’t you the captain of the team?” Andrew nodded, giving him a broad wink.

He turned to the Campbells who were effusive, “Well, this was our very first game, Andrew, and I must say, it was very exciting! You all did such a good job!” “Thank you Mrs. Campbell, we worked hard. I appreciate you saying that. “ Benji came over to join them, “Great game, man. Look, are you going back to Mia’s?” “Of course! We all are! You’re coming, too, right? You need a ride, you've got it.” Thanks, but I wonder if you can fit a guitar in the truck, too?” “Sure, no problem!” 

Sally Anne smiled, “Great! Benji, tell Victor we love him, and we’ll see him soon, and let’s transfer that guitar now. ” “Hold up, Mama, you can tell him yourself, I’ll get him.” Victor was on his way to visit with his parents, but stopped by the LGTB table to thank them for their support. Andew and Benji walked over to join him. Benji, his hand on Victor’s shoulder, finally guided him back over to Ben & Sally Anne. 

Victor was feeling very emotional. “ This was just the best day, and you guys were a big part of that. It means everything to me! Thank you, for everything!!” Ben and Sally Anne wrapped their arms around him. “Victor, I had no idea you were so great on the basketball court. We loved every minute, Sweetie, we’ll see you soon!” She took his arm, “ Now come walk out with us so you can help Benji with the guitar…” Victor’s eyes lit up even more, “Aww, man, Benji! You remembered! “ He hugged Benji, whispering “ I love you!” 

Isabel was returning from the restroom when she saw Victor, Benji, and Andrew talking to the LGBT group, then return to the table where Pilar, Mia, and Felix were talking with the older couple. She watched as a very animated Victor laughed and talked with them, saw the hugs and the affection.

So much warmth and laughter; they all seemed very happy. She began to fully realize how far outside the circle of Victor's life and his happiness she was moving. She sat down with Armando and Harold, and Dr. Spier noticed a change. Ms. Albright gave her a hug, “You husband has been telling some great tales from Texas, Ms. Salazar! I see now where Victor gets his sense of humor from!” 

Isabel’s smile was sad, “Yes, Victor and Armando both have a devilish sense of humor, but they both have big hearts, too.” Her eyes grew misty, “ Hey, I’ll go get the kids, it’s almost 8 o’clock, and this party looks like it has run its course.” She walked over to the table where Mia, Felix, Lake, Pilar and Adrian waited. Mia stood and greeted her warmly, “Hey, come sit for a minute, Mrs. Salazar.” “My goodness, Mia, I’d love to but I need to get this one home. Tomorrow is a school day, Adrian!” Pilar stood and nudged Adrian out of his chair. 

Meanwhile, Felix shot a quick warning glance at Lake as he saw Andrew and Victor, with his arm around Benji, walking back toward the table. Armando was outside, escorting Dr. Spier and Ms. Albright to their car, but Harold Brooks noticed too. “How come everyone stopped talking?” Adrian piped up. Victor and Benji were so intent on looking at something on Victor’s phone, they were unaware of Isabel. She turned now to face them. 

Benji stiffened, attempting to move away from Victor, but Victor’s arm tightened around his waist, “Hey, Mami!! I hope you guys enjoyed yourselves!” Time seemed to pause as mother and son eyed one another. Her expression was neutral. Then she offered a smile, “We did Victor! I think that was one of the best high school games I’ve ever seen! So exciting!” 

She looked over at Andrew, “We haven’t met, but I’m Victor’s mother, Isabel Salazar. You all played your hearts out today! “ Andrew nodded, “thank you, Mrs. Salazar, it means a lot to us that our families were here to support us.” Then she turned to Benji. “Hi, Benji. “ (deep breath…) Ms. Albright tells me that it was your idea to help organize this anti-bullying campaign with Andrew. I just want you to know. I appreciate what you’ve done. It means a lot to me.” 

Benji looked at her for a couple beats, “ Thanks, Mrs. Salazar! I did it because I care about Victor. I just want to help keep him and the rest of us safe.” Harold intervened before Isabel could respond, “Hey guys, it’s about that time. So let’s wrap it up.” He put his hand on Victor’s shoulder, “You ready, Victor?” They all walked out together, Pilar and Adrian with Isabel. Benji stopped Victor for a minute, “You and Dr. Brooks walk your mom to the car, Victor. I'll be with Andrew & Mia, go ahead…” Victor hugged him. “You OK?”  
“ I’m good, Victor. Go ahead…” 

“So, Victor, “ Adrian asked, “Does this mean you’re going to keep being Gay, now?  
Because you might be famous as, like the first Gay basketball player!” Victor laughed, “Well, not quite, Adrian. Jason Collins is Gay and he’s still playing for the NBA.” Isabel shook her head. Armando pulled the car up as it started to drizzle, and Victor gave Adrian a hug. ”Take care sweetheart, I’ll see you in a few days! “ Then he hugged Pilar, “See you tomorrow!” 

He kissed his father, then walked his mother over to the front passenger seat, and would have hugged her, but she slid into her seat before he had the chance. He leaned in and kissed her anyway. “I’m glad you were here today! It meant a lot to me.” His mother made a face, “Yeah, well. We didn’t spend much time with you, but it seems like you have a lot of friends who care about you, and you were having a good time. We just want you to be happy, Victor.” 

Tears of frustration formed in his eyes. “Look Mami, Papi...I love you. But I can’t live in your world anymore. It was killing me. Believe me, I want you in my life. I want you to be part of my life. But you’re going to have to accept that I live in a different world.” Isabel got out of the car for a moment, to brush the tear off Victor’s cheek.” I’ll try, mijo. I’ll try. I’m going to need time, OK?.” as she wrapped her arms around him.

Harold looked at Victor with concern as they got into his car. “Everything OK?” Victor just shook his head, “I don’t know what that was about. Either my mother is in mourning, and I saw her sadness, or she’s having a breakthrough. She was really emotional. Not sure where it came from…” Harold smiled, “It could be both, Victor. You were both pretty emotional.”

“ Look. Your parents were hit hard with the Gay stuff today. They also saw you being a normal, happy teenager. You're not shriveling up, hiding in a corner. You’re not an outcast. You have friends, you have support, you’re obviously happy, and you played some damned good basketball today. So maybe they are beginning to see that life moves on, and the challenge for them, is to decide whether or not they will live outside that circle or whether they will join you. “ 

“Well at least she was sort of polite to Benji.” Harold’s eyebrows went up, “I thought that was a bit more than politeness, Victor. I think that may be a partial surrender. She acknowledged him. She said she appreciated what he did for you. That took a lot of effort on her part. Baby steps, man. She might never get there, but today was a good day. Today, she made an effort.” Just then, Benji appeared, guitar in hand and asked if he could ride with them. “Hop in Benji, that’s a fine instrument, don’t want to get it wet!” Harold unlocked the door and Benji slid into the backseat.

Andrew & Mia made a detour to Sweet Auburn to pick up BBQ. Veronica, Harold’s pregnant fiancee' had returned from Chicago while they were all out, and was resting upstairs. Harold wandered around the house putting lights on, then went up to check on her. As Victor and Benji walked down to the pool house with the guitar, they spotted Felix and Lake coming up the driveway. Victor waved at them, “Be with you in a minute!” 

He set the guitar carefully against the wall in the corner of his bedroom. “C’mere, you!” Victor pulled Benji into his arms, ”What comes first, Love or BBQ?” Benji smiled, “The supply of BBQ is limited, the Love isn’t, Victor...” he whispered, rubbing his stubbled cheek against Victor’s. . “I’m looking forward to trying out your new bed…” Victor looked towards the doorway, “ Definitely. ... Look. before we get too distracted, I have an idea I wanted to run past you about Felix, Benji. If you and I give up our barista jobs, do you think you can talk Sarah into hiring Felix? “

Benji thought about it for all of two seconds, “That’s a great idea! But do you think he’d want to?” “I haven’t asked him, and I want to be careful about how I say it, but I know he can use the money, and I think he’d enjoy it.” “You check with him, and I’ll handle Sarah. She was happy with my last hire...but not nearly as happy as I was…” In between kisses, Victor, smiled, “That was my first real job… You’re responsible for a lot of firsts in my life,...” “Mmm,...tell me….” Their phones vibrated at the same time, ”Food’s here.” 

As they finished eating, Harold came into the Kitchen to put his empty plates into the dishwasher, and interrupted the gathering, “OK, guys. It’s almost 9:30. This is a school night so you need to wrap this up soon, say your goodbyes by 11:00-11:30. And I’m being generous because this was game day. Benji, how are you getting home? “ Felix jumped in, ”Oh, Dr. Brooks, I was going to see if Benji wanted to share an Uber with me? We live about a mile and a half from one another.” Benji nodded, “Sure, Felix! We’ve done that before, no problem.” “Great, well, I’ll say my goodnights now. Take care!” and he headed back upstairs to Veronica.

“OK, Victor, what’s up with the guitar? Are we ever going to hear you play? “ Mia teased. Victor laughed, “You don’t want to hear me play yet. Benji’s been working with me, but I need more practice…” Benji shook his head. “Victor already plays well, but he does need to practice more. He sings well, too.” “Wow...well I’m looking forward to some lovely evenings this summer...by the way, Benji, your mom and I were talking about the summer day camp you all are setting up down at All Saints?” 

He rolled his eyes, “I’m not setting anything up...yet...My mother is trying to draft me into helping with their music program...but I had no idea she was recruiting you guys.” Lake was enthusiastic, ”I think I might enjoy it, Benji! Mia and I were kind of interested in checking it out.” “ I’d love to help out, too, “ Felix chimed in, “but my first priority this summer is trying to find a job, “ Benji and Victor looked at one another and smiled. “Whut? Does that seem odd to you?” Victor squeezed Felix’s shoulder affectionately, “No! Not at all, man. In fact I think I might have some leads on some job opportunities…” Felix looked very interested, “Really? Well, let’s talk….” 

Andrew was in the living room on the phone with his father. It was almost 2:30 AM in Ghana, but he wanted to hear about the game, and they talked for nearly a half hour. When he came back into the kitchen he seemed quiet. Victor and Benji decided it was a good time to make their exit, ”Look guys, this has been great, but we’re going to say goodnight.,...” Felix smiled at them, “ I’ll just come and get you when I’m ready to go, OK? “ “Uh, Felix?” Victor instructed, “ Just text, or call? No need to come down…” 

Pool House

“Christ, Victor! “ Benji lay there, sweat gluing the matted hair on his chest to Victor’s, trying to catch his breath. He felt Victor’s heart hammering against his. “You OK?” “No…."Victor huffed, "but I will be….damn... that was intense! …don’t move….” “I have to move or I’ll leak. I just don’t know if I can... Baby, you have some strong legs, my hips will never be the same... “He gasped. Victor laughed softly, “ Your hips work just fine, Benji Campbell…” Benji licked the salty sweat from Victor's neck, “We need a shower. We’re a mess…face to face is definitely more intense….” “Time?” Benji reached down on the floor to check his phone, “ It’s 10:32. We’ve got to get you a nightstand, Babe... Let’s try out your shower…” 

They toweled one another off and dressed, Victor in just his jeans and a tee shirt. “Here, your hair is still damp,” Benji leaned into it as Victor dried his hair with the towel,” You’re making me sleepy…” “Benji, I don’t know how I’m going to get through the week without this…” 

Benji reached back and took his hand, holding it against his chest, “No, Victor. We’ll see one another in a few hours. And either you can come to me or I’ll stop over here for a while after school, whenever we want to….except this Thursday…” “What’s happening Thursday?” “Thursday…” He stood and took the towel from Victor to finish drying, “Thursday I...am...getting my driver’s license! And hopefully I’m going to ask you out on a date this coming weekend. You think you might enjoy that?” “Hell, yes!!! “ Victor was jubilant! “You know, I have counseling with Dr. Spier, too…” Benji kissed him lightly, “Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure it out...Look at it this way. You have your own place right now, and you and I have a lot of freedom, even when you're at my house…” 

“Do you think your parents ever wonder about the sex stuff? I mean I even felt kind of funny tonight when we left Mia. You know they all assumed that we'd be doing exactly what we were doing...” Benji smiled, “So? Look. My parents and I had this conversation a while ago, not about anyone specifically, but in general. We’re Gay. The world isn’t really welcoming to people like us. So we can’t take stuff for granted, we have to take care. Getting blow jobs in public restrooms at the Mall, or some restaurant, or the janitor’s closet, is desperate, and it isn’t smart. Getting busted by the cops in a parked car can be fatal ...and not just fatal to our reputations.”

“We’re so lucky. We have a lot of freedom and privacy. At our age, that’s a huge gift, babe. All my parents want is for me to be safe and use good judgement. “ Victor smiled, “Wow, still ... that’s pretty open-minded.” Benji agreed. “But, on an completely different subject, there’s something else that’s on my mind, Victor. We want to spend as much time as we can together, and I really need to be with you. I believe you feel the same about me. I just want us to remember to make room for the other people in our lives.” 

“ I want this relationship to work. I want us to grow together, not end up suffocating one another. I guess I just don’t want to repeat the mistakes I made with Derek. I don’t want to take over your life. When I came out, and he paid attention to me, I’m almost embarrassed at how grateful I was, and I let him take over my life. He was possessive, and super critical, and .I wanted his approval.”

“ I stopped hanging out with some really nice people. I’ve been sort of MIA with some of the guys I used to meet to work on my music. And I’m a junior in high school. I have to spend serious time putting my portfolio together so I can apply to Design schools. Derek seemed jealous of anything that distracted me from him. When I finally started showing some independence, or even sticking up for my own opinions, he couldn’t handle it.”

Victor grew thoughtful, “ I think that’s part of my parents’ problems. They argue all the time because my father needs to be the boss, you know? He knows what’s good for everyone. He also has a huge trust problem with my mother, and I totally understand why, but she loves teaching music, and he’s afraid because of the mess she made back in Texas, so he’s giving her a hard time. I don’t want to pick up any of their bad habits.”

As Benji reached for his jeans, an envelope fell out of his pocket. He handed it to Victor, “Here. I almost forgot. Don’t open this now. I wrote something for you. I want you to read it after I leave, OK?” He pulled his rugby shirt over his head, messing up his hair again. Victor took the envelope, set it on the bed, and kissed him while he finger combed Benji’s hair. 

They both heard Benji’s phone. He smiled , “Felix…” “Call me when you get home, OK? “  
“Of course! “ Victor walked him out, and they found Felix sitting on the patio. “Uber will be here in a couple minutes, Lake called them for us.” Victor hugged him, “I love you man! Look, about this job situation, Benji and I were talking and …” Benji jumped in, “We think you’d make an excellent barista! Think about it. We’re going to possibly be working over at Emory this summer, and we’ll only do Brasstown part time, so I’d like to try to hire you in before summer? “ he offered. 

“Victor and I will train you, and you can take over! You’re a natural, Felix! And it’s fun! “ Felix’s eyes lit up, “I always thought you guys looked so cool doing that! “ “Well, think about it, OK? “ Victor squeezed his shoulder. “OK. Uber’s out in front! See you tomorrow!” Victor gave Benji a quick good night kiss and watched the two walk down Mia’s driveway. “Umm, Benji?” Yeah?” “Ummm… your shirt’s inside out… you might want to fix that?” Benji laughed, watching Felix blush, “Thanks man, I’m good. I expect everyone will be asleep when I get there.” 

Benji’s note:

For Victor

I know you: 

I know how you feel...how warm and smooth your skin is,... even in the rough places. I know the weight of you, when you’re on top of me, and the smell and the taste of you. I love the goosebumps I give you, when I trace the lines of your spine. 

I know you….how you like to rest your head on my chest and listen to my heart beat. I know the rhythm of your breathing, and how you like to sleep on your stomach with one arm flung across my belly. 

I ‘ve seen you open your eyes first thing in the morning, and that soft smile, when you realize you’re with me. 

How you stagger into the kitchen before daylight, still warm from sleep, and wrap your arms around me while I’m making coffee. 

I know you. And everything I know is not even a fraction of what there is to know. 

But maybe it’s enough to get me through all the hours when we’re apart. B.

FINIS

####

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Doem-_tfMuY


End file.
